How Important Is Spirituality in Your Life?

VERY.

It just isn’t anything I advertise. I feel it is very personal for each individual.

I think spirituality is behind everything we do and the choices we make.

When we get up in the morning, the Babe is wide awake after rising and letting the dogs out. He sits outside with the dogs and wakes me up when he gets his second cup of coffee.

When I go outside to sit on the deck, I have a cup of coffee and gosh it’s good. The air was fresh yesterday morning, and I felt gratitude at the beauty before me.

I want to thank God for the creation of the birds and animals we observe every day. We all have our place in this world, and are all destined to offer our best to the grand scheme of things. Baltimore Orioles, Cardinals, Swallows, Robins, they’re all in our view. We’re in awe at the view and the interaction with nature we get to observe.

Observing this beauty the past few mornings has changed how the day goes. I’m practicing gratitude above all else. I’ve kept that to myself, and prefer it this way. My belief goes deep, and I feel as if I can connect with my soul. I believe my conversations with God are heart to heart.

I ask Him, “So what do you have planned for today?” I know He’ll clue me in, and it will be fine. We have to learn how to observe and interpret what we see.

The best example I can tell you about is my dad. He was a practicing Catholic all his life. After he died, I learned he carried a rosary in the pocket of his trousers every day of his life.

The rosary also accompanied him to the battlefield in Europe for World War II and the MASH unit he was in during Korea.

A young man, fearing for his life, seeing things he’d never thought possible and living to tell of it, was the man who was my father.

A good man. A man who loved his family. And a man who would give a guy the benefit of the doubt, and reach out to guys who might need to talk while someone listened.

So, yes. When I think of spirituality, I want to wear mine as my father wore his. With a grateful heart, quiet prayers, and trying to do good on this earth. Nothing fancy, just from deep in your soul. Making a difference, as quietly as possible.

Stay safe out there, stay hydrated, and do some good out there! Quietly, of course. See you tomorrow.

Aww, It’s Cute!

How many times do you hear this phrase? What does the word “cute” mean to you?

Small, child-like, young. Many people dislike “cute.”

Cute refers to puppies.

Cute doesn’t mean elegant, stately, or statuesque.

It means appealing in an endearing way. Think babies, bunnies, and baby chicks.

It also means sexually attractive in North American slang. “He’s so cute!”

Also in North American slang, it means to be clever or cunning in a self-serving way. “I don’t want to get cute with you.”

My older brother is a slightly built man. He was small as a child; he was bullied a lot as a kid. He hated the word cute for a multitude of reasons. I didn’t blame him.

And I didn’t care for the word when my mom told me, “You’re too big to be cute.” Ouch!

Of course, I looked huge standing next to him. But I was normal-sized. No matter, the damage was done and re-enforced. For both of us.

Now, the word “fat” is what I dislike hearing. The word stirs up horrible memories for me.

Mom used to call me that a lot. I don’t use the word as it has such bad feelings and low self esteem tied to it. As long as I can remember I was demeaned by Mom using that word.

The thing about it is, people seem to know how to keep you “in your place.” Mom had it done to her. And I vowed never to do that to my kids. And I didn’t. The curse is broken. At last!

Bullies will always exist. Just don’t be one. Ever.

Have a great Sunday, and we’ll see you tomorrow!

What Would You Do If It Were Guaranteed Not To Fail?

This is tough. Where’s the fun in it?

I’d do exactly what I’m trying to do here. I would publish children’s books. I would work on a novel. The thing that’s a hold up here is helping Mom resettle from her home of 74 years and take care of her affairs. It’s a huge, necessary part of life. And I’m right in the crosshairs.

It’s hard to herd a family to get tasks done, and we have a task ahead of us, still. It’s a whopper. I’m certain we’re not gong to make our initial goal date. It’s ok. It’s just harder to sell homes during the holiday season(s). I don’t think Thanksgiving will have the impact Christmas does. And I know spring and summer is a much better time to sell. It is what it is. God will be good to us.

I cannot imagine being involved in something that is guaranteed not to fail. Too good to be true? The realist in me says “YES!” The skeptic, of course, says “NO!” Sure, it would make life easy, but is it really enough to be guaranteed to succeed?

Having been a kid who was a nerd, wore glasses, was self-conscious, painfully shy, and lacked confidence, success did not come easily. I was so shy I couldn’t speak well in class. I so wanted to be in a play. No, I painted the scenery. I could be anonymous. I was pleased . It was enough for that time in my life.

With the way the world is at the moment, the unrest, the continuing hatred for the Jewish people, I have a simple request. Let’s all get along. Let’s be kind to each other. Is it so much to ask? That would be my wish, actually. We need to help it along. It could happen. If only we’d abandon our individual agendas and help each other. Let’s help. Let’s be kind. And above all, let’s keep going. Never give up. Never.

As you go through your Friday, remember the people in the world who are refugees. It never ends for them. There is no security for them. Let’s spend our supernatural for certain wishes and hopes for them. Take care and we’ll see each other tomorrow.

“Life Is Not War:”

“And People Are Not The Enemy.”

We who are adult children of alcoholics have learned it’s war out there. Every day is. Examples have included, “This is going to be a terrible day and I haven’t left the house yet.”

We might think everyone’s out to get us. When we’ve grown up in homes where the adults were negative, mistrusting, and contentious, we being misery to ourselves and everyone around us. Misery is not good. As if we needed to be told that. We don’t escape those faulty perceptions of people, like, and truth until we get outside the safety (?) of home.

When we’re open to other ideas than what we’ve learned at home, we are open to discovering the peace of conflict free living. Of course, there is the occasional disagreement, but not life-long differences.

I saw very few compromises as a kid. Usually, when our mom was at odds with someone, we all were. I don’t recall seeing apologies made, or forgiveness granted. Or hearing it either. Regardless, I need to learn more about forgiveness and absolution. I’m not unforgiving, I usually have discussions with someone I’m at odds with, but if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.

Most battles were inside of us, not outside. Not about strangers, but about what goes on inside our heads. Between our ears, it’s a battlefield, if we allow it. We do not have to think the worst, be negative, or believe untruths. It can change as we wish it to.

How we continue is up to us. Let’s make this a positive day, this middle of the week. Wednesday allows us to re-start the week if we wish. Sometimes we want to. Often, we don’t need to. Have a great mid-week day today, and we’ll check our expectations, outlook, and expect nothing but kindness, good feelings, and peace. It can happen. And you can make it be so. See you tomorrow!

“I Am An Old Man And I Have Known Many Troubles,

But Most of Them Never Happened.” Mark Twain

We all know people like this, don’t we? Are we one of them? I hope not.

The key lies in never looking back: its history.

And not looking too far ahead: The future is its own to happen.

And being content in the now.

I love this saying of Twain’s.

Imagination is incredible. It lets children learn to be creative storytellers. And adults to be creative storytellers. But we have to keep in control of our imaginations. They grow out of control if we let them. And they think they’re perfectly fine.

We let that 50 year class reunion bother us, we’re afraid we won’t appear as successful as others who graduated from high school when we did. We freak ourselves so much we don’t go. Even when our best friend was expecting us. Terrible monsters built in our minds, so we bowed out, for no good reason. Is that what we really want?

We let dread rule our lives, and that makes us unable to enjoy life. Most of what we fear never happens. How ironic. We could have joined the party, gone to the reunion, or met our old friends. And probably would have had a good time. We are silly. Why do this to ourselves?

Human nature, which led us to think the worst, expecting it is the way things will go, and most likely won’t happen anyhow. We are the one who missed out. How sad. Fear keeps us home, on the bench, sitting on the outer edge of the crowd, fearful of coming closer to the middle.

Let’s practice participation. Get in there! Move closer to people. Meet them in the middle! You will find may of them feel as you do, and they’ll move towards you, too. That wasn’t so bad, now, was it? Let’s try that again, ok?

Practice being a new you. Get involved. Do one little thing at a time. One new thing. Go out for a coffee. Enjoy it, as you watch people or read. You’ll see new things by watching. Shake up your routine. You might like it.

Hope you enjoy this beautiful fall Monday. We’ve got a free day, going to do extra stuff at home. It’s going to be nice not having to hit the road and be somewhere early. Be safe out there, and we’ll see each other tomorrow.

Time is So Precious

I remember as a young Mom, my kids were my world, timetable, job, and everything. Frankie was by himself until he was four years old. Then we had Nick. When Nick was three, we had Becky. It was a busy life, and I loved being a stay at home Mom. I felt the best place I could be is with the kids. Their dad was pretty distant. He wanted to be their pal, always the fun parent. When he left, he continued to be the fun parent.

I was to the point I didn’t want to hear about mini golf, Chuck-E Cheese, the Arcade, and all the other things I couldn’t afford. I had the house, but also the payment. It’s much to dredge it back up, but in the 80s, when I was 30 years old and just starting in the working world, the pay inequities were substantial. Eventually, I exceeded his salary, but it didn’t matter anymore.

When I think of the experiences I had while working, going to school, and catching up to my peers who had a twelve year start on me, it amazes me. My kids were teenagers while their kids were babies. My life timeline went opposite of theirs. And now, here we all are at this point in our lives. I am so grateful to God for showing me the way all these years.

This is when we can think back over the times we’ve had. It’s healthy most of the time. When you experience trauma at a young age, it’s hard. We must acknowledge it all. Yes, this happened. Dealing with it differently, I learned from it, and became a better person. I understand it. I don’t live it. And for that, I’m grateful.

The world offers us some tremendous opportunities to help people rise above the terrible situation life hands them. Again, if a child loses a parent and they learn to use that loss to gain unfair advantage in the world, that is wrong. Many children in that circumstance don’t take the wrong turn. They need their adults in the family to learn, heal, overcome, and offer good instead. It’s just the right thing to do.

The change of weather in the past three days in so nice. The Babe and I sat outside for the first time in a long time this morning, right at coffee break time. Now it’s lunchtime. Time to check on the laundry and some other things. Hope you have a great Friday, and we’ll see each other tomorrow.

#12 Get To Know You Question.

What skill would you most like to learn?

Hi, friends. Today’s Get to Know You Question is pretty good. I love learning new things. Maybe I’m fluid with my likes and things I’d love to do.

There are actually three things I’d love to learn, adding more skills to my creative world. We’ll discuss #1 and #2 first, #3 is further down in the blog.

1. I’d love to learn how to draw.
2. I’d love to learn how to paint.

I took several art classes in high school. Didn’t do any college level. I’ve always loved creating things, and I’ve done art quilts. Yes, I’d love to do more of those. I have several in the queue to machine quilt for hanging at home. You’ll see them all as I complete them. It’s not a far leap from quilting art scenes to drawing and painting. I’ve machine stitched in free motion quilting and done pretty well for being self taught.

Painting is one class I never took. The acrylics were pretty expensive and Mom was upset about those costs besides tuition, uniform fees, and books. I tried to ease the financial burden by not taking painting. I’ll learn now, when I can afford it. If I’m no good at either of these things, it’s ok. I think I’ll be fine with it. At this point in life, you only fail if you don’t try something. Why regret when you can say, “It’s not for me.”

And what on earth is the third thing I’d love to see if I can do or not?

3. Learn to sing. I took piano lessons from 4th grade to 8th grade from the little old lady across the street. Thinking I knew a lot, I didn’t waste time on her classical exercises and scales and instead bought pop and rock sheet music from a nearby music store. I could pick out tunes by ear, and surprised myself. Mom was upset, and we didn’t talk about any more lessons once I hit high school. The end of my music training.

In grade school, the little old nun who taught choir kind of ruined us girls for singing by forcing us to sing in high falsetto voices. It has stuck with me for life, I swear. It would probably take more years than I have left to learn to sing in a key my voice could handle. My asthma may limit my breathing, so I’m not brokenhearted to never take lessons for singing. You can’t do it all, trust me.

I’m contented with trying two out of three things on my list. How about you? What’s on your list to learn? Comment below, please. I will encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s pretty cool out here, trying things. You’ll be proud of yourself and eager to try more things. You’ll be comfortable before you know it. Try it on this Monday. New week, new start! See you tomorrow.

August-Get To Know You Questions.

I saw a list of team-building on Facebook. It was 26 questions on varied topics to get to know someone. I thought quite a few of them could be some good blog topics. Maybe we can have these topics for the entire month, and I’ll make up five more along the way. Let’s see how it goes. Please leave a comment on your answer to the question of the day.

Which one shall we start with? #5 on the list is:

What is the greatest accomplishment in your life?

There are a lot of accomplishments of which I’m proud. My marriage to the Babe for 25 years, my 3 kids and 2 step kids, of course, our five grandkids. I had nothing to do with raising my step kids, but they’re both loving people with whom I’m fortunate to have a good relationship.

What I’m most proud of was to graduate from college 25 years after I graduated from high school. There were so many obstacles along the way.

I wanted to go to college after high school. In our family, though, we didn’t talk about things, especially how I would pay for college, what I may pursue. After all, I was a girl, and I probably wouldn’t finish, I’d get married, so why waste the money and time? It was not as if I could win a scholarship. Mom mentioned I could go to beauty school. That didn’t appeal to me. I wasn’t even sure how to apply for a job at any downtown firm of note: The Bell Telephone Company, Mutual of Omaha, Woodman of the World, and many others. I had no driver’s license, no car, so the only boyfriend I had in my life (pre-Babe) and I got married.

Uncle Sam’s Selective Service System was drawing numbers of males, aged 18 – 26, who were eligible for the draft. The Vietnam War raged. Those who attended college had an exemption from the draft. Early on, so did men who had children. Later, that was not the case. What number did he have? #48. They drew on July 1, 1970. We married in September; they drafted him in March, 1971. I was crushed.

I survived, though, working part time at my aunt & uncle’s business. I found out I was pregnant and moved home with my family. Long story short, Frankie was born, and we grew up together.

When I was 29, I started community college. Clerical classes. I divorced in 1982. Got a job at ConAgra, and took classes in evenings when I could. Computer Classes in a 12-month program yielded a certificate and a trainee position. There was just no money in it. I secured another job at Mutual of Omaha, and received a $7K annual pay raise. The raises and promotions followed. It amazed me.

Working for a Corporation isn’t always a bad thing. The benefits were very good, and the Tuition Reimbursement Program helped me get my Bachelor’s in Management of Human Resources. I was proud of myself. Before Dad died in 1988, I would him the only thing I regretted was not graduating from college. He told me, “Just keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll get there.” Dad was right. In 1995, I graduated. Lots of hard work and persistence worked out for me.

I could spoil this by saying, “Night classes weren’t as hard as day classes.” But I won’t. I know some folks may think that, but it’s ok. We’ve reached the end of the first blog of August’s “Get To Know You Questions.” How about you? What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? How did you achieve it? How did you feel? Did you almost give up? Please share. Thank you all for participating. And we’ll see each other tomorrow. Be careful out there.