Thursday, Post-Opt Visit

Busy day today. The Babe has a post-op followup to his second cataract surgery. All I can say is, it’s getting busy. We won’t have time to drop the Babe back at home before picking Mom up for a doctor’s appointment. Maybe we can do lunch if we don’t get a snowstorm. We’ve heard varying degrees of bad weather for tomorrow. Nothing sounds too bad, but we need to be prepared.

Scenes from an elders life:

It seems Mom let us know how she likes Fish Sandwiches from Burger King. Monday this week, she told me she doesn’t want them this week. It seems she had five brought to her last Friday. She’s kind of over them! I’m taking her some grilled cheese sandwiches this week. Hope she doesn’t get a dozen of those!

After finishing the book, “Broken Angels,” I’m a little puzzled about the critical reviews I’ve seen. I can only speculate the reviewers are young and don’t understand the scope and ramifications of the Holocaust, and the horrors of the death camps. My father was with Patton’s troops as they freed Auschwitz. He never told us about it, but an aunt said she asked him once. He went up to his library to get a book, which he loaned her to read. The book would tell her more than she wanted to know. I did not get the name of the book, and my aunt is no longer with us, either.

What evil my father saw, along with many, many young men. Throughout the wars of history, and “conflicts.” Anywhere men or women died, it is a war in my estimation.

I find it a little funny to see the commercial for the vision center who did the Babe’s cataract surgery. We’ve probably spent 5 or 6 hours there over the past two days. One of the frequent running commercials during the news hours is for the vision center. Perfect photos of the chair I sat in by the windows, but none of the Otis Spunkmeyer freshly baked cookies, baked fresh daily. Those are the cure for everything. Smells so good.

Not kidding. I’ve done zero quilting the past two days. It will be done when I can. Things are a little crazy at the moment. But I finished an enormous book. That counts. How about you? What will this fine Thursday find you doing? Tell me in the comments. Have a great day, and we’ll see each other tomorrow.

Art + Reading + Quilting, Oh My!

It might be a little early, but sounds as if there could be another bout of bad winter weather this week. One former area weather dude said, “Ice, Ice, Baby.” That does not even sound good. The favorable thing about it is winter is nearly over.

Whatever the weather does, there’s lots to do inside. One thing is, yes . . . Cody’s quilt. Seriously, it takes a lot to trim the threads from the back. The threads are not threads from sewing so much as threads from the woven fabric. They fray a lot while handling them.

My new goal for this week is to actually finish Cody’s quilt. Then it’s tax time at Raabe Ranch. The month of February has been full of breakthroughs, insights, and progress. Lots of good reading and planning. The Babe is now the keeper of all the finance files for at Raabe Ranch. He’s tallying expenses for every month, so we have a running total. 2023 taxes will be easy that way. This is the first year we’ve tried this, so we’ll see how it goes.

Goldie had fun with the snow last week. She would beg to play fetch with her favorite toy, the rope. We stand on the deck and throw it. She goes to where it fell in the yard and brings it back to us. Except for when there are 6 + inches of snow. She waits for the rope, then plays by herself. How? She throws the rope up in the air, then waits for it to fall back under the snow again. She’ll nose it out, and toss it up in the air again. If she feels it with her paw, she’ll pull it across the yard a way, and toss it up when she likes. She’s worn herself out for the last week doing this. Silly dog. She brings a lot of joy to our days.

Hope you all have a great Tuesday. Make sure you get provisions in case you are ice/snow/slush bound on Wednesday and Thursday this week. Be safe out there, and we’ll see each other tomorrow.

Bright, Sunny Day

Saturday flew by. Feeling better when I woke, I was ready to set the world on fire. Until after taking a shower and getting dressed. Then common sense took me captive, and I decided to set the world on fire another day. Not well enough yet. We didn’t stray too far off the couch, believe me. The Babe has excellent advice: “You’re not well yet. Take another day.” Don’t have to tell this girl twice.

I’ve spent quite a number of hours trimming threads from the back of Cody’s quilt. And I’m still not finished trimming them. The weather was bright and sunny. I love those days. If a person were to keep track, I wonder how many days would be all sun, no clouds, and others all clouds, no sun. Anyone have an idea? Just curious.

It’s a good idea to keep people around you who are on your side. Those who see the best in you. Those who remind you you it’s there, deep inside of you when you forget. Since I’ve started writing, the more people I’ve shared about it, the more who have said, “Keep writing. You have something to say.” Do you know how far that goes in keeping me grounded and moving forward? I think if we all share that kind of encouragement with each other, we’d all keep going towards our creative goals.

We all know people who could use some encouragement just to get through the day. Cancer patients. people coping with loss. People with earth shaking decisions to make. Those who are estranged from their families through no fault of their own. And we sometimes need to stop, evaluate, and be deeply grateful for what goes well in our lives. Doing that has a way of giving us strength to go the extra mile. Gratitude does that for a person. A soul. A being.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately back in the years when we were all kids living at home. Still in school. And the excursions we would go on to visit our aunts’ and uncles’ homes. Dad didn’t accompany us often to see Mom’s family; he was usually just off a long Saturday night, printing the Sunday paper, and settling down for some sleep. One of my little cousins asked one time, “Who is that man who lives with Aunt Rosie?” They didn’t come to our house hardly ever, and Mom would take us around to visit on Sundays. It was funny, what my cousin said. I wondered how many other people wondered if we had a dad or not?

Growing up, I only knew two kids whose parents were divorced. And I didn’t meet them until high school. Now, it’s hard to find people who are married to their child’s other parent. I do not believe people should ever stay together for the sake of the kids. The kids are worse off if you are always arguing with their Dad or Mom. And a hostile home environment is where lots of bad things breed. And bad family traditions are passed down to yet another generation. Think about being the one who breaks tradition. It’s so well worth it.

Start small. Gain confidence. Before you know it, you’ll be going big or going home. You can do it. Again, have a few good people who support your dreams and goals. You’re worth it. Have a beautiful Sunday, and think about who your people are to support you when you decide you need to change something in life; your living situation, your family, your career. They’re all big things; chosen wisely, you can make your whole life better than you’ve ever imagined. Take care. See you tomorrow.

The Basic Tools

Of Julia Cameron’s way to recover our creativity are these:

The Morning Pages – These are about three handwritten pages about your thoughts as you wake up. I’m not sure what to think about these. I’ll try my best. Usually, the early hours see me drinking coffee with the Babe, and checking Facebook. We also watch Good Morning America. I see I need to add a notepad and plan on writing three pages of musings, sort of brain-dump to get to the good stuff.

Cameron mentions all the petty stuff, the whiny stuff, etc., are what’s keeping us from creating. We need to get the junk out of our minds, to make way for the creativity we are itching to get it out – onto the page, the canvas, the staff (music), and out of our minds.

As we’re getting out our thoughts, our doodles, or whatever we need to, there is the chance our critic/censor will discourage us. After all, we’re not any good. If we were, we would have done it long ago. We would have published, printed, whatever, long before now.

Our censor, wherever the dialogue grew from, can derail our creativity. After a steady diet of negativity, of course it’s easy to give up. But we don’t have to. C’mon! Let’s tell ourselves the truth. Be honest; we need to remember; the Censor is trying to undermine our creativity. Don’t listen to the negativity, concentrate on the good. We need to listen to the Artist Brain, not the Censor Brain.

And The Artist Date – A very special time, often just yourself, where you spend a couple hours with your artist self. I have some ideas of how to spend/how I have spent what I would consider Artist Dates. The first was with McGuigan Arts Academy, at the presentation of “The Ugly Holiday Sweater Soriee. These young creatives, who wrote their own scripts, and perform them, and do a fantastic job at it.

My ideas for Artist Dates right now are:

Spend some time with the leaders at McGuigan Arts Academy and get their insight on creativity. I’m a great fan of their work, I think the discussion could be really eye-opening.

Spend time with Julia McGuigan, who has her own shop where she sells her works. I’d love to get her input on creativity for her art. She’s very good.

Spend time with Jeffrey Koterba, who was an award-winning cartoonist for our local newspaper. He is fantastic. We met in person at the McGuigan Arts Academy performance of the Ugly Christmas Sweaters he saw over my shoulder. I was watching his video on how he crafted his cartoon on Patreon. I’d like to talk to Jeff about his career as an editorial cartoonist. And so many other things. He’s written a book. He grew up in the same neighborhood I did (close enough) as a kid. There will be much to talk about.

Liz Boutin is an artist from the Bellevue area in Nebraska. Her husband was in the Air Force; she was a Red Cross Volunteer in Germany. It was the hospital where terribly injured soldiers came from Iraq. Liz has PTSD. She uses her art to help ease her PTSD. She’s an incredible woman. I count her as a friend.

Taylor Frye Ullom is a friend and the founder of Guitars for Vets in Nebraska. She leads the organization who offers lessons to Veterans with PTSD. I’ve met many of the students, and am happy to see what good Taylor does with this organization. We could spend a long time talking about a lot of things.

There are many other people, places, and things I want to use as an Artist’s Date. It will be fun. And I should get a lot of ideas on creativity. I haven’t yet explored all the possibilities of an Artist’s Date, but I’m totally open to the possibility of putting myself out there and visit with people who are actual artists. Writers, painters, cartoonists, artists, the Omaha-area is full of them. I’m excited about 2023. Come along with us, we’ll have an adventure in 2023. There are many more folks I know casually who will be great resources for future references. Thank you for your help.

Thank you, loyal followers, and new fans. Let’s all stretch our wings and fly this year. We’ll all have each other to hold ourselves up. Happy 2023. Let’s get out there and create! See you tomorrow. #1023followers!

11/29/2022-One Day Left

Have we really reached the end of November? Today is the last day. Needless to say, I didn’t complete NaNowriMo. My writing 50K words will have to wait until another month and maybe another year. The Babe and I spent a wonderful day today, talking about his trip to DC last week and how big the grandkids are getting. Joell turned 15, Addison was 15 last February, Gavin will be 11 next birthday, and Kayla will be 5 in March, Cody will be 3 in January. Where does the time go?

Speaking of where does the time go, I may not be able to finish both quilts for Kayla and Cody before Christmas. Becky and I worked it out, when they’re both quilts are finished, I’ll send them both. It doesn’t have to be Christmas or a birthday, their Mama said. I love that about my daughter. She is forgiving. Now, the pressure is off, and I’ll enjoy working on them a lot more.

Do you get angry? Or do you claim you’re not angry about anything?

If you’re treated a certain way for a lifetime but bury how you feel, it’s probable you have a deep near rage. The anger festers, and becomes deeper. It’s hardly noticeable, until it blows up, which can happen easier than you think. Chronic, buried anger can cause a real problem in dysfunctional behavior. Have you ever gotten the silent treatment? Have you gotten the silent treatment in addition to the silent one banging cabinets, slamming dishes on the table, throwing things, and turning petty things into major problems? A minor inconvenience, like a spilled glass of milk, can set off a tirade that lasts from minutes to hours. You never know.

Some of us are sensitive to angry outbursts. I am. I’d rather hear anything else than some angry, out of control person. I don’t hear anything reasonable in what I’ve described here. I’d rather be able to talk with someone, tell them I’m angry, and go on. If it gets to the point of tirades or silent treatments, it’s too far gone to have a reasonable discussion. I wish you luck in resolving the differences.

As this is the last day of November, I hope it’s a good one for you. Me? I’ll be at the sewing machine, getting all the stitches in I can. And cutting out more small pieces to make Cody’s doggie quilt. It’s a sweet one, I’ll let you see the pattern later on.

Take care, and I hope you’re not angry today. I hope everything is resolvable in your life, or at least you have someone to talk things out with. We all need that. Have a beautiful day, and see you tomorrow.

Of Mountains and Molehills

(NaNoWriMo Day 10, written on 11/5/2022)

Have you ever known anyone who made a major deal out of everything? Nothing occurs in their life unless it splashed on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and all things social media. 

Anyone who writes needs a presence on social media. Our websites need to introduce us to the world in order to gain followers, get yourself out there, and make a name for yourself. It’s hard work. It’s hard to set your audience to Public, knowing full well people you don’t know will know who you are. That makes some folks uneasy. I’m not worried about it, I know if you want people to buy your books; you are public about your life to a certain extent. 

It’s purposeful I mentioned we have two dogs. They’re big dogs, and quite protective of their house and people. The other side of that, is the dogs are a huge part of our lives. They’re part of our family, all our kids are dog lovers, too. Lucky pups live with nearly all of us. 

I want to record my reading some short children’s stories. I plan to upload them to YouTube and pitch Grandma Kathy reading other author’s books. I have several picked out. Then, I’ll introduce the first Grandma Kathy book. That one will have to be purchased. I think it’s a great idea, just need to get it off the ground. 

Soon, a private Podcast group will be available on Facebook. A friend of mine is heading up the group. It will be a free resource for those of us who want to learn how to do it, what to do, what you need, etc. So much to learn besides writing!

I think that explains my presence on social media, my concerns and the things I love about it. I’m using it for a purpose, not to create drama. So, while I’m not using it to make mountains out of the molehills of problems I have, I’m there and hope to gain a following. 

The drama creators make every minor problem that arises a full-blown crisis. There’s codependency in those kinds of crisis. The problem may have nothing to do with your immediate household, yet you adopt the crisis and all that goes with it. It’s for attention. You do it for control. You do it to feel important. 

Others may minimize another’s crisis. You know that type too. “That’s nothing! Thus and such happened to me.” That’s not appropriate to do to someone. We have no right to do that. We need the grace to see circumstances and events in life as they are; no exaggeration or minimizing. 

When we really have a crisis, we need to have a clear head, be ready to decide after gathering all the information, analyzing it, and be confident in our decision. 

I had a good 90 minutes of working on the quilt squares, they’re almost ready to sew together! I’m getting excited. There will be time to layer and quilt it and cut out the next one, for Kayla’s brother Cody. Here’s praying I get finished in time for Christmas!

Saturday Summation.

What a very nice day today. The dedication of the Patriot’s Patio at VFW Post 2503 was at 1 p.m. It was a perfect day outside, and the remarks were short and sweet. The crews that did the work were all very talented men, top craftsmen, one and all. What a joy to see their creation. There was a pictoral history of the progress from day to day, and the men were collectively proud. I love this stuff. It would have been perfect if the Babe’s brother in law Lou Riedmann were still with us. He would have been equally as proud.

This month’s edition of Writer’s Digest suggests Journaling as a Superpower. Also suggested, we begin journaling. It is basically a diary. One type of Journaling could be a novel journal. What a great idea! A novel idea even. Too soon? I suppose.

I’m tempted to journal this NaNoWriMo. It is described as a a collection of novel-in-progress. What are your goals for the scene, what clues do we need to plant? List 10-15 different directions my character might go, based on events of the story. Try different points of view for the character.

Also, an idea journal should be handy. Any ideas for stories, short stories, chapters, novels, etc. should be recorded. I’m liking these journaling ideas. Last night, we talked about journaling being important in learning in peer support. A person learns a lot about how they think and process memories through journaling.

All the words I write, in my novel or not, count as words to be considered for NaNoWriMo. They don’t have to be just chapters, blogs, or notes to myself. It will be good to count everything, and definitely add to the final tally. I hope the flow is conducive to more writing. We’ll have to finesse it as we go along. I’m getting kind of excited. Back to writing Ahhh! It’s been a long time. Remind me of those excited feelings in about a week when I’m tearing my hair out, ok?

It’s been a long day and that king-sized bed looks pretty good to me right about now. Have a great rest of the evening, and we’ll see each other tomorrow, ok? Thanks for reading.

Playing Catch-Up.

With three appointments for Mom this week, a visitation and then funeral for our friend. Everything is behind; the laundry, the Hello Fresh meals from last week need cooked before they spoil, my kid book and other projects are on hold momentarily, and my mind and heart are else-where. This happens to me after losses.

I’ve mentioned before how the Babe and I have lost many people in the last two years. With Janet, now the count is eight in 20 months. They were all ages and walks of life; they were ALS, COVID, Congestive Heart Failure, COPD/Congestive Heart Failure, Kidney Cancer & old age, Sepsis/Lung Infection, Lymphoma, and Cancer/Strokes/Dementia. What a list.

In my grief, I’m thinking and remembering how it was to get through every day after Dad died. It was hard, with him dying December 7th, Christmas on the horizon, and his birthday on January 1. All those events within 30 days of his death really left us scrambling to figure out how to cope.

I’m enjoying seeing all the FB photos posted of Janet with family, friends, and acquaintances. It made realize we didn’t have any photos of us together; all our pictures were of the kids. That’s how things were back in the 80s. No selfies or group selfies. But I have wonderful memories and many reasons to smile.

Today was a late day appointment with Mom, and she’s pretty frustrated. It took such a long time to get there, then to find out, we made a useless trip. Things happen, and she gets really upset. We are indeed the sandwich generation: elderly parents and grandkids. My in-laws are deceased, and Mom is the only one left. She is requiring more care and time the older she becomes. The grand kids are spreading their wings and Mom’s needing hers clipped. How about that?

It’s time to relax and try to get some sleep. I’m so glad I do not have to leave the house tomorrow. Meals are prepared and only need nuking, and I plan to visit my children’s book again. My friend’s grandson Donnie IV may like my book about Roxie and Gavin. He saw his grandpa very sad yesterday. He is too, and will remember yesterday for a long time. He stepped in front of us and called out to Grandpa, giving him hugs and kisses. It was so sweet. This is what makes life worth living, and it’s what keeps us going on.

Have a beautiful evening, and we’ll see each other tomorrow. Be safe out there.

We Create Our Own Nightmares.

Sometimes, that’s the cold, hard truth. We all want our own way. It doesn’t matter if we’re a cranky toddler, an angst-filled teenager, a broken-hearted mid-lifer, an elder of the tribe, or an angry nonagenarian. We all have our moments.

We think we know everything at those moments. How others need to respond to us, the situation, who should do what, how they should do it, and of the result will be exactly what we think it should be. How could it fail? Let me count the ways, my dear.

We think our power is greater than it is; we’re not supposed to manage other’s outcomes. We have no idea what will work for everyone we think is involved. If everyone actually bends to our iron will, things may work out for a time. Before they backfire in our faces. The feeling of power is short-lived. Wow. We didn’t know what’s best. Imagine that?

Coming from an environment where some tried to control others lives, I know for a fact how true this statement is. Those folks don’t admit they’re wrong, nor when you’re right. Sad. Stay in your lane, people! Most often your own best guesses about my life are wrong, just as my ideas about your life are most likely wrong. The exception in cases of deep addiction to alcohol, drugs, or gambling. You need help not only with the substances, or activity, but also with your mental health. Sometimes, it’s necessary to have another help you figure out what to do. You need to care about your recovery more than I do, though. I cannot and will not do the hard work for you.

Me? I sure don’t ever want to quit learning. I’ll never know it all and I wouldn’t want to. Too much responsibility! A better life lies ahead of all of us who realize we need to be our own navigator. It’s even better when you have a co-captain/navigator in your life, a trusted person to travel with you. It’s not necessary, just nice. Appreciate those who love you and help you grow. Thanks a million, Babe.

Watch out for pitfalls and backsliding while learning to let others navigate their own road, when they’re capable. We’ll all make mistakes, there is no way around our being human. Learn from today’s mistakes. And don’t dwell on them. You’re living in the now and the future is ahead of you, not behind.

Today will be beastly hot, not fit for anyone. Drink lots of water, and rest. Outdoor work will still be there tomorrow. We have a heat advisory in our area, and I expect it to remain too hot for anyone. Grateful for the A/C. I have lots of catch-up work for the Post, and for us. Too many unexpected things happened all week. It’s going to be better. I know it will. Be safe, hydrate, and be kind. See you tomorrow!

Good Girls Rarely Make History.

This phrase just jumped out at me while listening to Jennifer Nettles album/CD “Playing With Fire.” I love her voice. I’ve read before she has a voice “to make a man leave his happy home and follow her anywhere.”

The one thing I’m curious about is writing lyrics. It appears to be like poetry, but adding the words to music adds another dimension that words on a page just can’t compete with. Nettles’ song, “Hey Heartbreak” is an anthem telling Heartbreak to leave her door, she’s taking her life back. Powerful words, and great music. Nothing better.

I believe some day I will write words for a song. I have experienced a lot of themes. Bone crushing lonely Saturday nights, before I met the Babe. I think when you’ve lived through those, you can pretty much get through anything. Loss of good health is another thing that tests your mettle. Not having an adult in your home to help you is another kind of lonely and hopelessness. If I hadn’t had my kids, I may not have made it through. But we did. All those experiences are back in the vault of my memories. I will do something with them in the future. You cannot make up the things every day people make it through. No one could believe it all happened. But it did. And I’m still here!

This is where my overwhelming sense of gratitude grows from. I could not have lived through these things without hope, faith, and especially love. God is in charge. I no longer try to affect outcomes; I pray, “However you decide, God. I’m along for the ride. Tell me what you’re teaching me now.” Many years ago, I prayed, “Please make my husband be kinder to the kids,” and learned it doesn’t work that way. The prayer became, “Show me what you want me to do to improve this situation.” Boy, did He!

I was the quintessential “good girl.” I was obedient, always followed the rules, never expressed my opinion, deferred always to my first husband, and didn’t rock the boat. Never again! The book I will finish reading today has stirred many memories of how women’s role in society has changed. In the Victorian era, women were not allowed to study things like math or science. It was believed their delicate makeup would be upset if they used their minds too much. Hogwash!

When I was a Programmer Trainee in 1987, I asked a question that was quite technical in nature. The boss that was training me said, “That’s too technical for you.” I asked someone else later who said, “He probably didn’t know the answer.” I finally got the explanation but not from who should have answered me. My first review after transferring to another department of I/T included, “You are way more skilled than he would give you credit for. He kept you down.” How about that?

Truth of the matter is, there were not very many women in the field in the late 80s. Most were men, and I had to learn to go to lunch with them, hang out with them, and not be relegated to the “secretarial staff.” It’s a hard stop to be in, but you have to make the best of it. Thank God it has changed! We need to remain equal. We were made to be equal. I never broke out in hysterics from debugging an old COBOL program. Nonsense!

And while I may not go down in history as a “bad girl” I know that would have been one who talked back, (I was just asking questions no one liked), wanted to take a class only boys took (I wanted to take Mechanical Drawing. The nun who enrolled me that year said “absolutely NOT! You’re too shy!”), and “You’ll probably never finish college, even if you attend. Go to beauty school or nursing school or become a teacher.” No offers of financial help were ever discussed. How was that supposed to happen?

In the 1950s, the thing that made a girl “bad” was being one who smoked, hung out with the boys, one who stole boyfriends, and had sex before marriage. The worse thing was if your daughter “had to get married.” The scorn! In the late 60s and 70s, it mattered no more. Now, often people live together for years, have multiple children, then get married if they even do. I’m glad young teens are no longer forced into marriage. It used to be the air was clean and sex was dirty. Now, the air is dirty and sex is clean. In my opinion, God made male and female to enjoy each other in every way possible. There is nothing better than a caring lover. That, along with commitment, love, faith, and trust in each other transcends to a beautiful life together. I have that with the Babe. I wish it on my friends to know what that is.

Does that make me a bad girl? Oh well! I’ve been called worse! When I was single for so long, I used to say, “If I could be guilty of half of what people have thought I’ve done, I’d be having a great time!”

Have a great time today! Be good to yourself and to each other. Show respect and kindness everywhere you go. You’ll receive it back tenfold. Do it out of goodness, not out of what you may get from it. Let’s see each other again tomorrow!

Help a girl out, we’re around #946 followers. Help me get to #1000! It’ll be fun! Thank you!