Written on Thursday, June 13, 2024, 9 pm

What notable things happened today?

Oh boy. I think you’d think I was telling a tall tale if I just tell you the truth about the real things which really happened.

Ok, here we go.

Last night, Omaha had a terrible hail and wind storm.

Of course! Closing on Mom’s house is tomorrow at 2 pm. My brother who lives across the street told me the hail was tennis ball size. Wow!

We had plans to receive the furniture delivery for my oldest brother at his new assisted living apartment. We put a few things away, but he needs to know where his stuff is. He’ll rearrange everything after his move in.

We received the furniture, got a feel for the facility, and went to Mom’s house to assess damage.

Luckily, it’s not bad at all, but needs a repair. God was good to us. The day was full of “I can’t believe it!”

Tom’s house doesn’t appear to be damaged, but we will check again later. Lots going on.

Several calls with brother Steve about storm damage, calls with real estate agent, more papers to sign, and talks about possibilities. What a day!

Title company calls, note to self, and another call from title company telling me I don’t need to call the place with the info they wanted. Whew!

Emails, texts, and phone calls later, I’m relieved. The day didn’t destroy me, yet it tried to.

Yes, I was grateful the day didn’t make me surrender. We held steady and were still standing at the end of the day.

It was a huge victory, actually. And we’re praying for another victorious day tomorrow. Then our family home will belong to a new family. And we are grateful.

How about you? What significant things happened for you today?

Have you decided what to do on this sunny, hot day? We’re trying to catch up at home. Have a great Friday. See you tomorrow!

Aww, It’s Cute!

How many times do you hear this phrase? What does the word “cute” mean to you?

Small, child-like, young. Many people dislike “cute.”

Cute refers to puppies.

Cute doesn’t mean elegant, stately, or statuesque.

It means appealing in an endearing way. Think babies, bunnies, and baby chicks.

It also means sexually attractive in North American slang. “He’s so cute!”

Also in North American slang, it means to be clever or cunning in a self-serving way. “I don’t want to get cute with you.”

My older brother is a slightly built man. He was small as a child; he was bullied a lot as a kid. He hated the word cute for a multitude of reasons. I didn’t blame him.

And I didn’t care for the word when my mom told me, “You’re too big to be cute.” Ouch!

Of course, I looked huge standing next to him. But I was normal-sized. No matter, the damage was done and re-enforced. For both of us.

Now, the word “fat” is what I dislike hearing. The word stirs up horrible memories for me.

Mom used to call me that a lot. I don’t use the word as it has such bad feelings and low self esteem tied to it. As long as I can remember I was demeaned by Mom using that word.

The thing about it is, people seem to know how to keep you “in your place.” Mom had it done to her. And I vowed never to do that to my kids. And I didn’t. The curse is broken. At last!

Bullies will always exist. Just don’t be one. Ever.

Have a great Sunday, and we’ll see you tomorrow!

Did I Sign Up For This?

Do any of you do this?

I’ve wanted to take some online art classes, and signed up for a couple probably when I thought I’d have more time. I didn’t. I have lifetime login on a class by . . . Huh, what was that? Recently, I decided this year would be the year I try my hand at brushes, pencil drawings, watercolor, acrylics, etc. And I signed up for . . .

Well, you get the drift. I need to go through and try to figure out where all those websites are for those phantom classes I eagerly enlisted for. My eagerness has not waned, and I need to make sure I find them all again, since we no longer have the commitment to Mom’s care we had.

Glad we did it, and now I can do some of those things I’ve saved for “when I have more time.” I have more time now, and I’m so glad.

This morning, I worked more on the Sudoko Quilt. It’s coming along nicely. This morning, there was a lot of sewing sections together, and pressing the seams one direction or another. I forgot how crisp the seams looked when pressed into place, the proper way being to the dark fabric. In Star Wars and quilting, it always goes to the dark side. That was a Dad Joke, I know. Grandma’s can get away with it, though.

That simple thing, the crisp look of a quilt top after pressing, is one pleasure I’ve rediscovered this year. I’ve also read 5 books this year (two of them over 350 pages), and have done quite a few things on the to do list for home. And it’s only February 8, 2024! Five weeks off to a good start. Praying it continues.

It’s time to read some more on my 6th book, “Along Came Millie.” It’s pretty intriguing. Have a Fabulous Friday, and we’ll see you tomorrow.

A Little Better

Things have settled down a bit, and things don’t seem so foreboding. My brothers go back to their respective jobs tomorrow, and the Babe and I will find out which days the Lydia House accepts donations. That will determine what we do tomorrow. I’ll begin physical therapy again on Tuesday; I think I’ve back-slid.

I suppose that is how we make our new lives without our mom. I don’t believe we can go back to the life before we lost her. It is as if we cannot go back. We have to create a new life to live. My cousins and I are the next generation, becoming the elders of the tribe. A Jewell cousin told me I became the matriarch. Oh, my goodness. I hope to be worthy.

I’m thinking of our Christmas tree. It was such an important season for Mom. She decorated the house like crazy while she was still able. I’ll miss seeing it. Last year, her agency companion helped her do all these things. We’re grateful for that.

Lots of memories, large and small, important and unimportant, will creep into my mind. They will all have their place. I don’t want to forget the good times. There is still a lot of time to create new ones. I’m amazed; from the cousins on each side of the family are three wonderful men, who spend their time invoking Santa for kids, grownups, parties, and family gatherings. I hope you all have a wonderful season ahead, bringing back hope, love, and peace on earth. See you tomorrow.

Winding Down To Gear Up Again

It’s been a busy, busy week.

Hard to believe Mom died a week ago, November 1.

Many people have praised us for a beautiful service. Regardless of your feelings or grudges, I believe our loved ones deserve to be remembered for the good things in their lives. That is what we concentrated on. All the rest faded into the background. It was amazing how feelings change during the dying process. I believe we forgive everyone. This statement is about the small slights, the grudges; it is not about sexual abuse, or other amoral, illegal things. It’s understandable for those who fit in the last category. I don’t think I could forgive those things.

We followed her instructions as nearly as we could. Sorry we couldn’t find a soloist to sing “Tears In Heaven,” so here it is now, just for you, Mom. We miss you and love you.

The Long Journey

With our mom ended yesterday morning @ 9:25 am, CST, November 1, 2023.

In a world focused on celebrity deaths, often the passing of a 94-year-old wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother goes unnoticed.

Please understand, we’re grieving now, and making ready to send her soul back to heaven. More to come. Thank you. Hug your people. They’re all precious.

What Are You Most Proud Of In Your Life?

A couple of things tie, hands down.

First, I raised my kids alone; they were 10, 6, and 3 when their dad left. Sure, he paid support, but it was a paltry amount. It was hard, I won’t deny it. What helped the most were my folks watched them when I had class or work events. AND, I finished college, giving me a better chance at a better job. My mentor taught me I may have to leave the company I loved to earn the salary I needed. It was hard, but it worked out. Both major corporations I worked for had incredible benefits packages. I had my education nearly paid for and when I needed LTD, it was amazing. I’m humbled and grateful for that bonus, and we have a good life because of it.

No, we’re not rich. Not by a longshot. We’re comfortable. The Babe has a nice retirement. His VA Benefits help with his medical, prescriptions, etc. We’re covered, barring a catastrophe. I’m confident God will continue to be good with us.

My kids are good people. No one’s ever been in jail (that I know of!), or done anything terrible. Sometimes it’s a lot to be grateful for. My step kids are as wonderful. We’re proud of the choices all 5 adult kids made.

How about you? What are you most proud of in your life? Are you preparing for something special? Share, please. We’re finished for the day, and have a lot going on tomorrow. Hope your Tuesday is pleasant, and you have a beautiful day. We’ll see each other tomorrow.

What Have You Been Putting Off Doing? Why?

Perhaps I’ve been putting off the completion of my office reorganization AND my studio reorganization. It’s been underway now for a while. Then again, maybe it’s life in the way. How do I know?

I’m tired. The last seven months have been non stop crisis management. And it’s been a wild ride with Mom’s cancer diagnosis, treatment, and after treatment. Moving from her house to assisted living and building a new life for herself now. We are working a furniture swap between the apartment and house. Then an estate sale, home for sale, and hopefully sold before 2024.

We’re tired. Maybe I don’t want to make the time to get back to what my life was before all this crisis. Am I afraid to follow through on my dreams? Do I fear failure? I do not think I’m afraid of following through or of failure. I still believe in me. I would like to publish my children’s book while Mom is still with us. But you know what? If she’s not still with us, she’ll still know when I publish my kid book. It’s all good.

Hope to take today and tomorrow at home, then go to Mom’s late in the week. More packing to do, and hope to get the Plan B ready to implement. More about that later. I hope for a fruitful day today. Tying up the rest of the permission from God letters I need to provide for the utilities, private health insurance, and accountant. This list is only the beginning. There’s the IRS, both Federal and State, and others.

You know what? That’s it. I’m putting off the rest of my two huge reorganizations because there just isn’t enough time. The rest of our life is kind of lived a moment at a time. I need to not feel guilty about not finishing those reorganizations. We will get it all done.

How about you? Let’s all learn to not be so hard on ourselves. Reasons for not getting finished with something. Excuses are exactly that, excuses; they are not reasons. Reasons are valid. Excuses are not. Learn the difference and you’ll be ok.

Have a great Monday, and we’ll see each other tomorrow. Stay safe.

“Life Is Not War:”

“And People Are Not The Enemy.”

We who are adult children of alcoholics have learned it’s war out there. Every day is. Examples have included, “This is going to be a terrible day and I haven’t left the house yet.”

We might think everyone’s out to get us. When we’ve grown up in homes where the adults were negative, mistrusting, and contentious, we being misery to ourselves and everyone around us. Misery is not good. As if we needed to be told that. We don’t escape those faulty perceptions of people, like, and truth until we get outside the safety (?) of home.

When we’re open to other ideas than what we’ve learned at home, we are open to discovering the peace of conflict free living. Of course, there is the occasional disagreement, but not life-long differences.

I saw very few compromises as a kid. Usually, when our mom was at odds with someone, we all were. I don’t recall seeing apologies made, or forgiveness granted. Or hearing it either. Regardless, I need to learn more about forgiveness and absolution. I’m not unforgiving, I usually have discussions with someone I’m at odds with, but if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.

Most battles were inside of us, not outside. Not about strangers, but about what goes on inside our heads. Between our ears, it’s a battlefield, if we allow it. We do not have to think the worst, be negative, or believe untruths. It can change as we wish it to.

How we continue is up to us. Let’s make this a positive day, this middle of the week. Wednesday allows us to re-start the week if we wish. Sometimes we want to. Often, we don’t need to. Have a great mid-week day today, and we’ll check our expectations, outlook, and expect nothing but kindness, good feelings, and peace. It can happen. And you can make it be so. See you tomorrow!

“I Am An Old Man And I Have Known Many Troubles,

But Most of Them Never Happened.” Mark Twain

We all know people like this, don’t we? Are we one of them? I hope not.

The key lies in never looking back: its history.

And not looking too far ahead: The future is its own to happen.

And being content in the now.

I love this saying of Twain’s.

Imagination is incredible. It lets children learn to be creative storytellers. And adults to be creative storytellers. But we have to keep in control of our imaginations. They grow out of control if we let them. And they think they’re perfectly fine.

We let that 50 year class reunion bother us, we’re afraid we won’t appear as successful as others who graduated from high school when we did. We freak ourselves so much we don’t go. Even when our best friend was expecting us. Terrible monsters built in our minds, so we bowed out, for no good reason. Is that what we really want?

We let dread rule our lives, and that makes us unable to enjoy life. Most of what we fear never happens. How ironic. We could have joined the party, gone to the reunion, or met our old friends. And probably would have had a good time. We are silly. Why do this to ourselves?

Human nature, which led us to think the worst, expecting it is the way things will go, and most likely won’t happen anyhow. We are the one who missed out. How sad. Fear keeps us home, on the bench, sitting on the outer edge of the crowd, fearful of coming closer to the middle.

Let’s practice participation. Get in there! Move closer to people. Meet them in the middle! You will find may of them feel as you do, and they’ll move towards you, too. That wasn’t so bad, now, was it? Let’s try that again, ok?

Practice being a new you. Get involved. Do one little thing at a time. One new thing. Go out for a coffee. Enjoy it, as you watch people or read. You’ll see new things by watching. Shake up your routine. You might like it.

Hope you enjoy this beautiful fall Monday. We’ve got a free day, going to do extra stuff at home. It’s going to be nice not having to hit the road and be somewhere early. Be safe out there, and we’ll see each other tomorrow.