It’s Very Real

Politics, conspiracy theories, and hatred aside, I can tell you COVID is real. The Babe and I both have it and a couple family members have it too. Some of us had the vaccination, some didn’t. This is not a discussion about all of that.

What this is about is the whole other gambit of things; how does it feel physically, and emotionally? We know some people who lost their battles with this disease. My heart is aching for their surviving families now. The nurse who tested me at THINK last Tuesday was excellent. I mentioned not knowing where I caught this, and concern if I have passed it on. She said, “We don’t need to be about blame here. It can be from anywhere. It can go anywhere. She was a hundred percent correct. Many folks are about blame and causes. The Babe said, “It’s probably just a matter of time.” That could be true, too.

It seems I blamed my late allergy flare/asthma flare on the Cottonwood tree. It must have been COVID. The congestion, the coughing, the fatigue. Trouble is, it behaves like other chronic illnesses. Body aches? Yes, I’ve got them all the time. How are we supposed to know the difference? We’re not. That’s our doctor’s job. I feel pretty foolish, actually. Never thought I’d catch it. I’m grateful to God we had the immunizations. It could have been so much worse. The key is keeping your oxygen level up. Mine was under 90 until I consciously inhaled and exhaled to use the full extent of my lungs. It came up to 93 then. I was breathing more shallow simply because it kept me from coughing. Not a good thing to do, apparently.

The most bothersome part of this, at least for me, is the congestion, and the drainage that shifts into overdrive when lying down. It just doesn’t let up. No wonder the lungs become so compromised. What a horrible experience for those who can’t breathe. I’ve done my share of praying during the past week. The brain fog that goes with it is nothing new for me, either. I threw in the towel last week and said I took a few days off blogging to just take a break. Today, I thought I’d better at least try to do something normal, so here we are.

Today I’m not sure if I truly am better or if it’s still too close to call. Seriously. I can’t tell. I just don’t want to fall out of the habit of writing every day. That’s the driving factor. Are we afraid? A little. I wouldn’t say I’m sure we’re going to be fine and mean it, because we may not be. I can only have faith we will. I know I’m tired of this illness and all that goes with it. The media, the scares, the reality of learning it has you in its hold. Sobering thoughts.

I’ve struggled with sharing this information at all; sure, it’s deeply personal. Many will think I should have kept it to myself. I think in the grand scheme of things, being honest is what I’m about, and I think if nothing else, there could be some level of learning here. Honestly, we did not think we’d come down with COVID. We’ve been faithful to being careful; we’ve followed the rules to the letter. Sure, we’re as tired as everyone else of the masks, the news, the protocol. This pandemic is not going anywhere soon; it’s just a cold, hard fact in all our lives. We need to deal with this in our lives the best we can and let the world continue on.

Upon hearing the news of General Colin Powell passing away from COVID complications, I am devastated. I’m devastated when a regular person loses their life to this illness; as well as a well-known person, someone I deeply admire. I think Powell and Condoleezza Rice would have made a difference in America as President and Vice President. This terrible disease cares not who it takes or leaves behind. It makes all of us humble; it makes us all pray, and I pray we come out on the other side of it. I feel optimistic about our recovery; things are good so far. Of course, things can always go wrong; no one has a crystal ball.

I’

m still going to blog this week. I need to get some sense of normal back. I think we can place a pickup order for groceries and such. We’re sure we’re coming out on the right side of this. I’m going to still plan working on the novel. I’m short on concentrating much this week (again). That’s part of the charm of COVID and I hope it gets better. In the meantime, be positive as you can, and know it will all be ok. It has to be. See you tomorrow!

Wednesday; A Sense of Purpose

Whatever we need to accomplish in our lives to achieve our sense of purpose, we need to be on board with the process. We need to do the work we need to accomplish before embarking on the journey to find our purpose. Whatever we need to change before we can achieve, we need to be consistent. Here or there effort will not move you forward.

Whether we need to come to terms with an addiction (shopping, drinking, drugs); and all that goes with it (crushing debt, loss of job, loss of family, loss of health, loss of spirituality); or overcome procrastination and all it feeds (low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, increased fear of failure); we need to remain focused on our goals and be consistent with our activity.

I’ve done some reading on so-called “Writer’s Block” and find some folks don’t believe in it for a minute; they simply call it procrastination due to fear of failure. That may be. There are always words to write. Whether they fit into your novel is for you to decide. When I feel a strong call to abandon what I’m working on currently and move to another project, I usually follow the call. I believe it is an inspiration to add depth and meaning to another project. Time will come when I’m called back to the original project, and the extensive work of the novel will begin again. Sometimes you have to let creativity call the shots.

The pictures above resulted from a Pexels search for “dedication.” Anything we commit to takes dedication. Dedication to purpose and expected result. Some things, granted, are more fun than others to be dedicated to. I believe it takes about three weeks to form a new habit, a new mindset towards whatever we want to change. After those first twenty-one days, we get bored, want to have fun instead. We figure we’ve proven we can give up that unpleasant habit. We figure we can Netflix binge all day and still achieve our goal. “Give ourselves a break,” the little voice tells us. “We deserve it.”

It’s a slippery slope, my friend. If we don’t keep performing those necessary tasks, we’ll lose the battle. The battle to finish the novel, swim well, write new songs for an album, work out for good health, enjoy the benefits of another way to eat, kick the addiction, and be in recovery from alcoholism. It begins and ends with how much commitment we can consistently have towards our achievement. Sure, you deserve a break, but consider them carefully, or you may find yourself back at Day ZERO, not Day Twenty-One.

And when we slip or falter, we need to be kind to ourselves. We all falter. Don’t beat yourself up. Your friends are your support. They may be new writer friends, gym friends, writing coaches, a FB Group, your meeting friends, your sponsor, people you can confess your failures to without being judged. They have been there. They have gotten back on track. You can too. You have to. For yourself.

Where are you going to be today in your quest for personal growth and change? Today, I’m going to work on placing words from my kids’ book onto the pages for Cartney to illustrate. The more detail that is put in the drawings, the fewer words we’ll need. I am so excited to see this happen! We are nearing the goal more every day.

Clutter busting is always on the list, so some of that, too. It never hurts. And if your surroundings are tidier, your mind is more focused. Always keep a daily goal. And since it’s Wednesday, later today is Hamburger Night at the VFW Post 2503. It is always a nice outing. Having a meal with friends is a pleasant break in routine, and we enjoy it a lot. Feeling that it’s easier to dig back in Thursday and work. We have a wedding Saturday and a benefit concert on Sunday. The weekend will be outstanding!

Stay the course. Be Kind to yourself. Get back up if you backslide. You’re still on track. You will get there if you are consistent! Thanks for reading, we’ll see each other again tomorrow. Forward is the only way to go from here wherever you are. Let’s travel together.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com