The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

Cartoon character Garfield is quoted as saying; “The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable.” I would modify that to say, “YOUR truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable.” Yes, I’ve been miserable by my truth; my first marriage was never a good one, I lied to myself about everything and was not one to raise my voice and say, “This isn’t right.” I went along to get along. People were shocked when the Ken and Barbie of the neighborhood split up.

Denial is powerful, especially when your world is small. You may have few new friends, your friends are family, if you don’t have a job or career. You live in an old neighborhood, with retired folks who are your friends. I would see how unhappy their lives were. They complained about their spouses, living or dead. Is this what life is? I couldn’t believe it. I was so unhappy, I rarely smiled. “This can’t be right,” I thought.

Yes, the Babe and I are far from perfect. But we are perfect for each other. We are blunt but not hurtful with each other when things aren’t going well. Yes, the truth hurts sometimes. We check ourselves and learn from the kerfuffles of living with another human. Isn’t kerfuffle a great word? I heard Judge Judy say it, It just isn’t used that much. It’s a commotion or fuss, especially by conflicting views.

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Humans often want their own way. I find myself tamping down disagreement; not to “go along to get along,” but to check my ego and realize two people live here, and we both should be able to decorate, garden, whatever we want to do. My truth now is pick my battles. The Babe does the same. It’s called being a grownup. It’s also what you do when you love someone. It’s part of being a couple. Equality in marriage is possible, and it’s wonderful. It’s now part of my truth. And the Babe’s.

If you embrace the truth you find a way to deal with whatever problems are around you. You have to make decisions that may hurt. Change and growth do indeed hurt. Rejecting the old truth for the new real truths creates room for growth. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. The insights you gain help you dissect your current life and learn the skills to make the hard choices. With choice you begin to have a voice. We talked about Choices and Voices this week if you missed it.

Don’t get me wrong; I had to experience life as it was for me in order to learn and grow to where I am now. My soul is satisfied with life. I loved the part of my life when I was a Mom. My kids were the best job I ever had. They grew and left! No one told me what life would be like without them. I also knew I couldn’t keep them from having their own lives. Letting go of them was painful. And now, I’m learning how to fill that void. Writing has opened my eyes and given me a clear direction of how I hope to spend my next thirty years or so. Lord willing, of course!

It’s a warm but very windy day today. The Babe and I are both working on projects today. I love it when we’re both here, doing our own thing. He often comes in my office studio and announces, “Break time.” We both stop, sit down and have some water or other beverage, and talk. I enjoy that so much. Sometimes the break lasts all afternoon, but that’s OK. Whatever we’re doing, it’ll still be there tomorrow. I’m hoping it’s less windy downstairs on the patio. I can listen to the rest of my Kid Lit training. Then Cartney McGuigan (my illustrator), and I will conquer the Kid Lit World! We meet again in a few weeks, so I have some work to do – after I learn what to do! Busy and productive is always good!

BTW, Happy Birthday to Cartney! She turned 18 this week, and the world is now before her. She has a sound plan to begin. I’m excited for her. This young woman is considering all of the possibilities before her and planning how to get there. This is how life should be approached, my friends.

Thank you for reading today. You know how I appreciate it. Have a beautiful spring-like day today. Hope you’re not dealing with the wind, too! It’s brutal. Our new flag is snapping in the wind. What a great sound, though. The sound of our freedom. God Bless America, and all of us! See you tomorrow!

Aaaannndd It’s Monday Again

I just looked at my personal email and decided nothing was super important. Then I looked at my business e-mail and see it’s off to the races again. I’m getting better at rejecting a lot of training, but some are still relevant. If I sign up for mostly free Zoom instruction, I usually learn one thing I didn’t know before, so I consider it an excellent investment of time. Today, I am watching Jerry Jenkins talking about Getting Published this Year, 2021. He ought to know- he wrote the “Left Behind” series, which published back in the 90s, I believe. It dealt with Jesus’ return to earth in present time. Can you imagine?

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I’ve included a picture of our dear Roxie as today’s Header photo. I received a notice today from WordPress. It’s already been two years since I set up my domain! I didn’t really start writing with any frequency until we lost Roxie later that year in July. In this photo, she is holding onto her bone so Lexie won’t get it away from her. I thought it was a hilarious look on her face. It still is. I miss her. I know Lexie does. She howls and whimpers from time to time. She never did that before. Poor girl!

My handy daily meditation book had a couple of thoughtful topics over the last two days. One dealt with the human tendency to take on undeserved guilt. I did that my whole childhood and continued it until probably twenty years ago. If Mom was mad, I thought it was my fault. She could be mad at my brothers, but I felt I had to make her happy. That’s not a good way to be. It’s not ego driven, it’s a codependent reaction. It made me feel bad about myself when I couldn’t do what I thought I should do. Little did I realize it had nothing to do with me.

The second meditation was good, too. It started with the famous Yogi Berra quote:

“It Ain’t Over ’til It’s Over.”

A few days ago, I was too tired, overwhelmed, and had a day of constant interruptions. I considered quitting writing and just doing my usual creative endeavors (which I miss a lot)! I’ve never backed down from anything in my life. Every challenge strengthened me. I can’t quit now, I have a lot to offer as writing about people, their hurts and problems, and how they solve their issues. Human interest, if you will. The Babe and I talked about it, he said, “You can’t just quit.” Bless his heart. He is a gem, I am holding onto him with both hands!

So here I sit again today, in the Home Office in Gretna, Nebraska, writing my blog and getting ready to edit my last chapter to make sure I include all my plot points. Today’s meditation? Also apt for me.

“Growth is the only evidence of life.”

Truth be told, it is probably apt for quite a few of us today and every day. We are meant to grow. Not so much in size (some of us have a time, don’t we?), but in spirit, intelligence, experiences, and everything else that makes us who we are. We cannot get someone else to do it. It’s not like shoveling the snow or mowing the lawn. We can pay someone else to do that. We can’t pay someone to do our personal growth for us. It’s as easy and hard as that. We must do it for ourselves.

This is one reason I love to read. Unfortunately, I read a lot of books for learning; all this week, I’m reading one or two just for the fun of it. The fun of reading. The balance for the work I hope to accomplish this year is play and laughter. Laughter helps everything go better. It reduces stress. It cheers us. Our personal growth is our own responsibility. What are you doing to make sure you’re doing your part? We need to keep fueling the fires of growth until we take our last breath. Stretch out, shake off the fear, and take a deep breath. Soon, you will look forward to it, instead of fearing it. You’ll be able to do far more than you ever dreamed.

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Only 30 minutes until my hour Zoom class. I will get my novel written this year! Hope Jerry Jenkins has some tips that make a difference. Have a day full of growth, enrichment, and forgiveness. Be the Change. Meet in the middle. Let’s be safe out there. Be kind. See you tomorrow! Thanks for reading.