God Moves With Me

I remember the early Catechism they taught us at St. Bridget’s Grade School. They taught us, starting in first grade, all about God as the Catholics knew Him. Did you notice I capitalized the Him? Any reference to God, Jesus, or the Holy Ghost (then it became the Holy Spirit) is a capital letter as respect to the entity of God. Lots of memorization about things we really don’t understand when we’re the ripe old age of six.

When we can memorize the answers to the questions, we were praised. At about seven, we learned about the two kinds of sin – venial and mortal. And our souls were pictured as milk bottles. Venial sins tainted the milk just a little. Mortal sins blackened the whole thing. You had to go tell a priest about those in what was called The Sacrament of Confession. They issued a little guide book to “examining your conscience.” What a big job for a little kid!

Many priests had a very little voice confessions adultery, disobeying their parents, and the big one – murdering another’s character. Wow. What guilt. We hadn’t a clue what adultery was. Same for what an Immaculate Conception was. The thinking was the Blessed Virgin Mary was not “sullied” by engaging in a sexual act and becoming pregnant. I always felt sorry for Joseph. He was told about Mary’s “condition” and he never wavered. Could anyone have that much faith?

True or not, it’s sometimes all we have to hold on to. The hope and trust there is a better place than this world can be. There is evil. Some evil people may live by us. They grew up with us. They may even live with us. Hard as it is to forgive, we need to do it for us, not for them. It’s taken me a lot of years to figure that out. We are all sinners, we all make mistakes. God has to be a forgiving, loving Spirit. Why would he keep letting us exist if he gave up on us? He left 99 to gather one lost one.

My vision of God is much kinder and gentler than it was sixty years ago. I no longer belong to a Catholic Church. God is in my life, my home, and in my sweet husband. We returned to Church together. It’s a settling thing in my life. Some summer days, I recall being a little child, walking into the dimly lit Church, with the dark cool air hitting my face. We were not allowed to talk in Church, and we didn’t. The nuns were constantly “shushing” someone. They’d tell your parents, too. Fear made us behave. We learned the reverence later.

Wherever we go in our lives, God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit is with us. We carry them in us. Sometimes we all make terrible mistakes. The Holy Trinity loves us anyway. As we recover from the sins and bad things in our lives, God is there, cheering us on. He shows his mercy every day to us. How I ever met and remained with the Babe is a mystery to me. It’s a miracle. What I sought in a relationship and marriage actually existed! I had many failure during the fourteen years I was divorced. I made many mistakes. I know I wasn’t perfect. I know God loves me anyway.

Study about the “Higher Power” referred to in AA. Hang your future on something bigger than yourselves. It’s only then you can have a good future. It’s all in your hands. You cannot place blame, or claim you were born under a bad sign. Just do it! Begin. Every single day. You will get where you’re going. Thank you for reading today. I am going to study more about mistakes made in children’s books. More on that tomorrow. Have a beautiful day! It’s super here in Gretna. Enjoy! See you tomorrow!

Just a Couple Weeks

I remember Christmas as a kid. It was so much better as a kid than it is as an older person. There is something about having little kids around that makes the celebration more full of hope and joy. When we were kids, our home life and Church life overlapped. Being Catholic, it thrilled us about Baby Jesus coming along with Santa Claus. We practiced for weeks for the big Christmas program, all our parents came (Dad didn’t, he worked nights and slept in the daytime); we sang every religious carol known to man at the time and all developed the high falsetto voice the Music Nun insisted we sing. To this day, I’m haunted by the excessively high pitch she had and expected us to all mimic. I am not even sure where my voice range is, I’m embarrassed to try singing. I admire those who can do it as easily as speaking.

Although we knew the real meaning of Christmas, it still thrilled us to think Santa would come and leave surprises for us. We didn’t ask about how he entered our house; we had a fake fireplace and knew it did not go to the chimney. We were happy for what we received most of the time. When I was about four or five, I wanted a ballerina doll so badly.

Photo by Javon Swaby on Pexels.com

At that age, ballet fascinated me. I must have seen it on television or something, because I didn’t take lessons. My cousin did. I was jealous of that. I never saw her dance, though. The dancing just blew my mind. I loved the costumes; they were unlike anything I ever saw in my brief life. The tulle, the sparkles, the slippers, were so different from other things in my life.

The big day arrived. My ballerina doll did not. Santa upset me that year. I received a baby blue teddy bear with a music box inside. You could wind it up and listen to a tune I’ve since forgotten. I set it aside and waited my turn to open another package. The usual clothes, puzzles, whatever else.

Later that winter, my brother and I had a lot of the “childhood illnesses;” we had severe chest colds with mumps, and maybe had measles or chicken pox, too. Maybe not all in one year. But we missed school a bit. When we missed school, Mom required we stay in our pajamas. And we stay in bed. Period. No matter what. Rules are rules.

That bear, who I named “Teddy,” became my best friend. I snuggled with him as I went to sleep, when I laid there awake, and I listened to his music to help pass the time. My dad would come in to see me and play a game or two of checkers. I loved playing checkers with my dad. It was always when I was sick, and always just the two of us. Mom didn’t have the patience or time to play games or entertain us. Dad did it enough to make it special.

Before my brother and I had any little brothers, Mom would read to us. She made us listen to her read “Tom Sawyer,” and “Huckleberry Finn.” I don’t think at our young ages it impressed us. Finances being what they were in those days were not so she could go out and buy books for kids. She read from her own collection of books. But we sat on the bed and listened to her. There were no pictures to see, either.

And the ballerina doll? I received it five months later for my birthday, from Grandma and Grandpa Bobell. I liked it, but I didn’t love it. It sat on the shelf with all my dolls. And she wasn’t anything special. I still loved the dancers, the tulle, the sparkles, and those toe-shoes; but slept with the Teddy Bear. As I’m now “mature,” I’ve realized how much of life turns out the same way.

We think we want something; it doesn’t happen; we find something else within our reach, so we take it and it’s better than our original “want.” That’s God; answering a prayer we make with a firm “NO,” and guiding us towards what will do us the most good. Once I learned God answers all prayers, some of them are a “no,” I was less disappointed in life. It frees us up to receive more openly. Try it, you’ll like it!

As you may shop today, prepare for Christmas, or visiting friends and family, make sure you’re safe. Even though we have a vaccine now, we may not receive it until spring, or later in some areas. Be safe. Be Careful. Be Thoughtful. Be Patient. Wash up and Mask up. I don’t want to lose any of you now. Thank you for visiting. I’ll see you tomorrow! Blessings!