It’s Over; and Just Beginning

Today was my friend’s funeral, burial, and funeral luncheon. Ethnic groups, such as the Polish, German, Italian, Irish, and whoever else, always had a huge, hearty lunch. South Omaha tradition dictates and ensures you will not go away hungry. We didn’t. The DAV (Disabled American Veterans) Hall did not disappoint; nor did Mama’s Pizza, who catered delicious Pasta.

Since my friend’s husband called Saturday to inform me his wife passed away, life has been so different. We had lived a thousand lives since then; we have had a million memories since then; and today, reality hit. We will never see our wife/mom/aunt/cousin/niece/friend again. Not until whatever you believe eternity will be.

The Babe and I have had many discussions about what we as individuals want when we pass. We’ve agreed on some things, other things will have further discussion. We need to write these things all down. Our time will come. Children don’t want to guess what we want. We need to tell them.

Many things open opened our eyes with this loss. We’re probably not too far behind. Or maybe one of us? No, we never know for sure. But from now on, we need to be ready, just in case.

Make those lists for our families; talk with people who will plan our funerals; maybe even pre-plan them ourselves; then the kids won’t need to do anything. That will be great for them.

And now, my friend’s family has to get used to life without her. Her husband and kids can no longer call her for advice, to just say hello, or tell her they love her. I experienced that with my dad back in 1988. Mom ise still living, and she’ll be 93 in a matter of days. As her executor, I’ll have a lot to do. It will be the time my brothers and I become orphans. I’ve read about those feelings, and expect we will feel the same.

Tonight? I’m grateful to have had Janet Nichols as my supporter, cheerleader, and friend for the past 43 years. We all were. We need to figure out how to carry on, and we will. Even though we may not like it. Such is life. I pray to make the most of mine, however much time I have left. It’s all we can hope for. Make an impression as a positive while you’re here.

It’s late, and we’ve had another long day. Please be good to each other; have a beautiful rest of the night and make it a good rest of the week. Be kind to people; take care of each other. None of us know when we’ll be called home; try to live each day as if it’s your last. Bless all of you, and know how I appreciate your support. We’re getting a lot of followers, and I’m delighted about that. See you tomorrow!

The World Has Lost, Again.

Yesterday, another call came we were expecting, but of course, hoped would never come.

Our friend passed away yesterday from ALS. Janet Lorentzen Nichols, friend to everyone, and my strong supporter when I was divorced (and before) succumbed to this horrible disease. Her husband, Don, was with her constantly the last months, as she slipped from walking to bedridden, talking to silence, and into a semi coma. By luck, I stopped and saw her Friday, telling her goodbye with a kiss on her forehead. Don is a rock, but a realist. Being a retired Firefighter, a Battalion Chief for the OFD, he knew the steps a body makes toward death. He called me Saturday afternoon. I didn’t expect it that quickly, but I was glad for all of them, her pain and fight was over. And now, ours begins.

Who is included in the group ours?

Don, her husband of over 50 years; her sisters (she was the baby in the family), numerous family members, nieces, nephews, in-laws, her two sons and their families, her daughter and her family; and lastly, but in abundance, all the friends she had. It would not surprise me if she, as an individual, touched thousands of lives during her lifetime.

I met her in 1980, as we had kids the same ages. Frankie and Janice (different grades in school), Nick and Donnie, Becky and David. We became fast friends. Back then, there were not many stay-at-home Moms in our aging neighborhood. The houses and long-time residents were all younger than we are now, so it was great to add a young woman as a friend, for both of us.

We added sidekick Kathy Snell along the way. Kathy babysat a bunch of children, and was mine when I got divorced and starting working. She and Janet were besties as I lost touch, moving into a different neighborhood and world. In those couple of years, between 1980 and 1982, we walked our babies hundreds of miles in their strollers as the older ones walked; spent time at the then-new Lynch Park at 23 & Martha Streets in South Omaha, made countless Zoo visits with picnics, made hundreds of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches together for the kids as we visited, talked, and solved the world’s problems. It was good to have a friend my age. It was a blessing to have Janet as a your friend.

We reconnected in about 1995, after a motorcycle accident took their son-in-law Dan and critically injured Janice. It was the day of Donnie’s high school graduation. It was also my birthday. I saw it in the newspaper, a little blurb on an obscure page, and my heart went to the family. They have endured so much as a couple, a family, and grandparents.

Two things stand out in my memories of Janet. First, she could talk faster than any other human being on earth. And never take a breath. I was still horribly shy then, so if and when she did take a breath, I’d add my two cents, then she’d continue, talking and setting the Guinness World’s Record for human speech. I believe she could out talk an auctioneer at a livestock show.

Second, Janet loved to cook. As the kids grew up, she worked as a lunch lady for the school systems. She would get to know the kids in line, many having her love and concern because she was that way. She loved you and was concerned. I’m sure some may have never had someone love them just for existing. She loved making food, sharing it, and showing her love with it. Those lucky kids. Hot lunch every day made by someone who put love in as the main ingredient. We were all lucky.

Later, she worked in Douglas County Child Support Enforcement. She learned Spanish so she could help people who did not speak English as their primary language. That is love and dedication, at work. That was how Janet lived her life; serving others. What a good friend, woman, and citizen.

As my the Babe and I sat on the deck this morning, the clouds came, a brief shower, clouds parted and eventually, it became sunny. Now it’s extremely hot. I thought about Janet and her first morning in heaven. I wonder what that was like. She’s probably not finished yet with all the reunions, and I’m sure she’s asking God all of her questions. All of them.

When we heard the cardinals singing, the Babe and I looked at each other. She was telling us to be sad, but don’t stay that way. Grieve, but keep living. As all of us left here without her, let’s tell all our Janet stories to each other. There are some great ones, I know. As long as we keep her spirit alive, she’s still with us. And that’s how it’s supposed to be. We don’t tell stories or blog to get attention for ourselves, but to honor the lucky one in this situation – Janet Nichols. RIP. Thank you for being our friend.