Summery Saturday

Tonight is a special night. We are finally able to go see live music, outdoors, and socially distanced at the beautiful Davies Amphitheater in Glenwood, Iowa. We are going to see “Billy and the Downliners,” a/k/a Billy McGuigan and his talented band. It’s going to be great. Although they have performed at the Omaha Community Playhouse as a Drive-In production, we didn’t attend that one. It stinks being in the “old person” category, and having some health issues. It stinks being responsible about it, but I’d rather we both be here in the future to see him perform than go now and be sorry we did. I’ve never seen such talented musicians gathered together. They all have their moments to shine, and together, it’s stuff that you will probably hear from the angels in heaven. The best part of all? They love their fans, and appreciate them. No egos here. Just confident people sharing their gifts with us. How lucky Omaha is to have them. My heart feels lighter.

I’m feeling the COVID-19 Blues lifting already! It’s nice to have something to look forward to, aside from waking up every morning. It’s sure become a habit to sit out on the deck with the dogs every morning. Just watching the sky, the trees, the birds. It’s so awesome. I don’t like to think what we will do in late fall when it’s too cold to sit out there. There has to be something equal that’s inside, and not the morning news. It’s just so dark anymore. I think America as a whole are really trying to be safe in this pandemic. We can’t always get what we want. My generation heard that phrase in a Rolling Stones song back in the day.

Sure we have rights, and with rights come tremendous responsibility. Wearing a mask is in that category, in my humble opinion. My freedoms are still there, I’m just thinking of all of us by wearing one. Please, pick something else to be stubborn about. Don’t get me, my 91 year old mom, my 70 year old husband, or my little grandson (I haven’t gotten to meet yet) sick by thinking you’re proving a point. It’s not worth it. I’d rather live, and I would bet you would too. Help me help you never meant more than right now.

New Words to Live By

Too often we become complacent in our lives. We don’t have to have fireworks and parades all the time. We accept things that are holding us back as people. We accept people who hold us back, too. The best situation for improving your life is to have a partner who has your back. That is rare, especially if you want to do some projects or take up a new time-consuming hobby. That’s when you can really tell if you have the right person with you or not. If they aren’t happy for you in your growth spurt, there could be trouble if they have a temperament that needs their ego fed.

That said, you can be contented and support your S/O if you are secure in your life, your relationship, and are genuinely happy for their future, which is also a part of your future. I re-discovered that treasure in my life this week. After nearly 22 years of marriage, it’s still there, and better than ever. The Babe supports my endeavors whatever they are. He may not want to participate, or understand why I want to write, but he supports me, and I support him, too. He knows writing is important to me. When he told me that this week, I felt like the keys to Fort Knox were handed to me. That’s a huge, huge gift to a creative person. May you all have that someone in your life. And if not now, may you find it soon. You deserve it, too. I’m grateful.

Project for today, in addition to studying more about writing.

Thank you for reading today. I hope you have something safe and special planned. Pop Rock, with Billy McGuigan will play for an extended time at the Omaha Community Playhouse, if you’re up to going. You won’t be sorry, trust me. Dates are August 5 – 23. See you tomorrow, right here. Be safe. Be kind. Be courteous. Let the music blow your socks off.

Wonderful Wednesday

Hi, folks! It’s another sunny summery day in Nebraska. I know we need rain, it’s just so much more beautiful when we can enjoy sunshine. The pups have been in and out, and in and out. They’re just getting warmed up! The header today has a picture of Lexie when we first had her. She weighed 4 pounds and was 4 weeks old. We did get Roxie at the same time, she had a parasite and only weighed 3 1/2 pounds. The mom was sick, so they were placed as soon as possible. They were only on solid food for two days. Lots of love later, we’ve had wonderful companionship with them.

I’ve seen many articles written on forgiveness lately. Not sure if I’m being told something or if it’s a coincidence. It is hard to forgive another who hurt you to the depths of your being. I believe it’s worse when you don’t know why they did what they did to you. In situations like this, I think women tend to overthink and take too much responsibility for doing something wrong. Nothing is further than the truth! You picked the wrong person with which to share that part of you!

That last sentence is truth spoken with the utmost love. Really. I have done that more than a few times. Not everyone is a candidate to know you and your insecurities/faults/secrets. They gain your trust (because you’re a trusting person), and use the information to hurt you deeply later. Been there, done that, over and over.

One thing I can tell you, it’s not always the guys fault. They are either a cad or they don’t care. Or they are a cad and they don’t care. We women are by nature sharers. Adult Child of an Alcoholic? You’re probably just following the family tradition of dysfunction. It manifests itself all over your life, and you don’t even drink. The dysfunction is learned behavior, passed down from generation to generation. If you want to change your life, you can learn a new behavior. It took me a long, long time to unlearn behaviors that no longer served my life. Once I learned my truth, life has been so incredible. I believe I was in the dark all those years, struggling with who I was and who I attracted, I wasn’t ready to see I played a part in all of it. Not playing that game anymore.

I’m also reading a lot about creating new habits. It is very hard to do that if you historically have done the opposite, that is, discouraged new habits. Being positive and forward thinking is hard to do, you need a lot of practice. Before I started thinking for myself, I was negative. I thought all people were. I thought all adults were.

I thought love always hurt. That’s what all the music I listened to told me. I saw examples all around me. I came to expect hurt and disappointment in love. Movies always portrayed dramatic arguments between couples, “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” I heartily disagree with that statement. Love Story was the movie people talked about when I married young (19). Now that I’m a grown woman, I’ve learned.

“Love is exactly why you have to say you’re sorry.“

You will be surprised by what you hear.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them. It doesn’t let them off the hook, it doesn’t mean you have to accept treatment that is abusive, verbally and certainly not physically. Abuse starts out verbal. That’s what kept someone like me under control. I’d go along to get along, never thinking there was a choice. Now I see nothing but choices. Time changes everything. So does knowledge. And self-esteem.

When the Babe’s mom was clearing out her home before going to the nursing home, she made a photo album for each of her kids. It was so fun to look back at the Babe’s life in photos. An ornery little tow headed kid, dimples galore, and such an impish grin. Handsome, strong, young. We all were once. It was beautiful photos of him holding his children the first time, coming home from Vietnam, gathering with his extended family, and the like. When he turned the page to his second marriage, his mom said, “Oh, I should have cut Debbie out of these.”

I told her, “Oh, it’s ok, I have a past, too. I’m with him now, that’s all that matters to me. The Debbie years have been over for quite a while.”

I joked with her when we got to the photos I was in, “Now we’re in the Kathy years!” She laughed. How I miss that beautiful lady. She raised a good man. And his brother. And two good women in his sisters. We don’t see them nearly enough. The Babe’s sister-in-law passed about six months after his mom did. She was adamant we need to seek each other out, keep the connections alive. She was right. Miss her, too.

It’s a good feeling to forgive past loves, past friends, past hurts. It doesn’t mean you forget. You need to remember what people are capable of to forgive them. That keeps you from repeating the mistake. And yes, they were mistakes. Situations that happened are over, please work to put them in their proper places. Forgiveness. A mighty gift you give yourself.

I love the sentiment expressed here!

This is a great sentiment. I would change it to read: “Because I do not want to live without you.” We are both grown enough to know life will go on without each other. One of us will be left alone when one of us dies. That is what we mean by this. I’m delighted to be the last. Trust me, we have words. We get mad at each other. We get over it quickly. We try to live every day like it could be our last together. No regrets that way. It’s never, ever too late!

My wish for all of my single friends: May you find the kind of love you need and want. I know it’s hard. When you least expect it, you will find it. Be open. Protect your heart, though. It will happen. Like you, I was skeptical (maybe even negative). I was never more wrong in my life. You will see. Message or comment to me when it happens for you.

Thank you for reading today, I appreciate it. Keep distancing, masking, washing hands, sanitizing, and being safe. No political agenda here. Just want you all to be healthy. If you are, then I am. And I’ll be one step closer to being able to meet our newest grandson. Yes! Be safe. See you tomorrow!

Taco Tuesday

It’s 3:30 p.m. and I’m just starting to write the blog for the day. It was a day to take Mom to the Cardiologist for an annual visit. She has an appointment for next year, July 20, 2021. She thought it was silly to make an appointment a year in advance at her age. I told her it was an optimistic way to look at it. It’ll be here before you know it, right?

After the doctor, she “needed” to go to Hobby Lobby. She replaced some 30 year greenery in hanging baskets on the enclosed front porch. She gets her money’s worth out of stuff, for sure.

One of the best projects my folks did to their house was to enclose the front porch. It’s good sized, has combination windows, and has offered a nice place to sit in the evening without bugs of summer. It’s good for about three seasons if you push it. I spent hours playing on the open porch, and my kids all played there too. Although she lives in the house we all grew up in, it’s her home, not ours anymore. Our homes are where we live. Of the houses my kids were raised in, only one is still standing. They remember “the white house,” and talk about the neighborhood. The house was razed by the city for street improvement.

The home they left for adulthood is still standing. It’s the house I bought by myself and the house the Babe and I first lived in after we married. Home is wherever we live. Mom has only lived in probably two houses her entire life. I can’t imagine her moving to assisted living on her own. I think she’d be mad at us if we suggested it as a good idea. That big house just wears her out. Bathrooms are on second floor or in basement, there is nothing on the main level.

Considering my doctor advised us to get a ranch style house and forgo steps, I’m so glad we did. I’m looking at knee replacement whenever I decide I can’t take it anymore. I’m not ready yet. For all the surgeries I’ve survived, this one gives me the willies. I can’t see any of my major scars very well. A knee, well, it’s out there. I’m not vain about it, just gives me the creeps. And the creeps are not good.

My Memories of Summer Reading Club at the Omaha Public Library. Good Times!

Isn’t this little saying by Julia Donaldson just lovely? It reminds me of every summer, my brother and I raced to see who could read the first ten books. He usually beat me. He spent more time reading and just did it faster. That’s ok, I wasn’t a slouch at it. Almost all the kids in class received a bookmark as the award when we started back to school in September. The stories usually captivated me, and I loved the true to life stories.

Three of our grandkids say they don’t like to read. That makes me sad. I hope someday they change their minds. The two grandkids in Colorado are read to a lot, and chances are, they will read on their own when the time comes. Books are my favorite gift to give and receive. Gift cards to book stores are the best.

Now Here’s An Idea!

It’s just so easy to order books on Amazon for delivery. I do like bookstores, I just haven’t been out to one for a long time. It still feels weird to go out and get necessities. A friend of mine is releasing a children’s book. I’ll share a link when it’s available online. Shouldn’t be too long. I’m excited for her! She has a nice little family, a husband and two little boys. One was just born in the last couple months.

As I watch my mom toddle along, I wonder how long we’ll have her. She’ll be 91 next month, and still lives alone. It was old folks day at the cardiologist, and saw many “children” bring “Mom” or “Dad” to the clinic. Some couples were there, but not many. Although she complains about the cost of the blood thinner, I think it’s kept her from having any more strokes the past few years. And the Babe is on blood thinners, too. So two main people in my life are kind of living on the edge, either of them could have an event at any time. I’m not going to worry about it. It it occurs, we’ll deal with it. I’m just not ready to give anyone up yet. Prayers are always welcome.

For tonight? I’m going to read a book I’ve had going since pre-COVID. I just haven’t finished it. It’s my kind of story – former Navy Seal, Cop in Colorado, solves murder cases, etc. I just want to see if perhaps I can make good on the Goodreads estimate of number of books I may read in 2020. It’s not too exciting, but it’s an accomplishment. How about you?

Thank you for reading today. I appreciate your support so much. Wash up, Mask up, Be Kind, Be Tolerant, Be Courteous. We all need each other to treat each other well. This will pass much more easily if we do. Do what’s right. Do something your grandma could be proud of. See you tomorrow, be safe.

COVID-19 Blues

When I opened WordPress this morning, I was greeted with a meme that wished me Happy Anniversary. It was one year ago today I started my website and blog. I established it and wanted to learn more before I dove in headfirst. You see, I don’t swim. At all. Water terrifies me. I can use pool noodles and not hyperventilate, but take them away, and I sink. It’s a fear I’ve never overcome. I’d rather speak in front of an auditorium than try to swim. And I have spoken in front of an auditorium. I emceed a dinner at Metro Community College once about twenty five years ago. Probably a thousand people attended. Bob Boozer was a speaker. I knew nothing about it until the emcee was sick and they called me. What a surprise! I lived to tell about it.

I blogged a couple times between April and July, 2019. When we tragically lost our Roxie was when I started daily (almost). I can see a lot of differences depending on the day, and I’m glad for those of you who continue to follow. As soon as I finish my book and get closer to publishing, I will add website pages, about ordering, what we’re working on, and whatever else that entails. But as of now, we’ve met over two hundred times! That’s a lot of blogging, a lot of reading, writing, and a lot of trying to decide what to talk about. Thank you for bearing with me.

I’m sure you all know how much I love quilting. In ten years, I hope to see the improvement in my writing just as I’ve seen the improvement in my quilting skills. At first, I thought I’d never be able to make a nice quilt. Quilters always feel the need to confession, sort of like the Catholics do. It’s not necessary at all. Most of the time, no one else even notices mistakes. We are often our own worst enemies. Writers are also their own worst enemies, believe me.

As a quilter, a lot of friends have shared this pattern with me. I purchased it, and it arrived a couple days ago. I love the irony there is in this piece. The overs and unders of roll placement, patterned vs. white, and the glaring example of that one piece left on the roll, half covered with glue. What good is that? Who does that? It might make a good raffle prize for the Nebraska Writers Guild Fallish Conference later this year. I’ll have to see if my good intention comes to fruition. It might make a good memory quilt for our youngest grandson, Cody, who was born in January, before all this hoarding started. That remains to be seen.

I just couldn’t resist!

Do any of you have the problem of enjoying too many creative endeavors? Like art, writing, quilting, photography, etc., etc., etc.? I do. It’s a hard thing when you like a lot of things. Even back in the 80s when I took a placement test at the community college to see what areas of interest I had. It’s hard when you like a lot of things. It’s great if you can devote enough time to each facet, but not if you are simply hacking away at each part. I did decide to forgo the art part until I finish the novel. And relax starting another one for at least six months, unless there’s a valid reason to start another novel right away. If a publisher is hounding me for a series, and I must get started quickly. It could happen. Not likely, but I’m new at this, how am I to know?

Once Bitten Twice Shy?

Wasn’t there a metal band in the 80s who sang a song “Once Bitten Twice Shy?” Through the blessing called GOOGLE, I find it was by White Snake. Yes, my oldest liked Metal and Hair Bands (Bon Jovi & Van Halen), heck I even liked those last two. And now you can hear them all on elevator music. It happens to all of us. My younger son Nick liked the boy bands, Pointer Sister, girl soloists, etc. Daughter? She liked the Death Metal garage band that went onto become the Faint. Yes, the Faint. She had a boyfriend (Mike) who was the lead singer/guitarist. She broke up with him before they got big. Funny how things go along. She now likes Country music, and they have their two beautiful kids, named after western heroes (Cody Wyatt) and a Country singer (Kayla Jolee). I can’t help but wonder what those kids will listen to. Hopefully not rap. Sorry, I just don’t like angry sounding stuff that rattles my fillings. I can even get to like lots of stuff, but not rap. Not in me.

So as I’m off to see if my plot will bite me again, I hope you have a beautiful day today. We have winter ick again, but it won’t last long. The last couple days I think I’ve given in to some of the COVID-19 Blues, and I don’t want to give away any more of my time to him. Not unless I could write a blues song about it like an old, wise, gravelly voiced black man could. With that life experience, it’d be a great song, don’t you think? What a character he would be. I think he could tell a lot of stories about lives he’s lived. But that’s for another time.

And thanks for reading today. I’m glad you were here with me, it’s given me a boost to keep working today. I hope your day is good. Do whatever you wish to. Reward yourself for staying in. We must if we want to emerge on the other side of this with our communities intact. Please don’t think you won’t catch it. You might not, but you could infect me. Or the Babe. Let’s be sensible. Thanks! See you tomorrow.