It depends on who you ask.
Who decides what it means? Who decides if you’re normal? Do you have feelings? Are you confident? Do you always feel at fault? Is that healthy? Do you feel you don’t matter? Do you know what it is to play, or are you always working?
The news is: You get to decide what it means to be normal. Often, when we’re not allowed to play when we’re children, feeling responsible for the unhappiness of those around us, and we bury ourselves in work. I’ve done that. I never realized how much anxiety I had. Afraid of being hollered at; at school, at home, by adult neighbors, anyone, I tried to fade into the background. I just wanted someone to notice I was being good and helping.
I still don’t engage in shouting matches. Or relationships with liars. Or with people you can’t trust. People who steal. It’s just not how life should be. I don’t think it’s normal for a child to live in a hostile environment. Being afraid is not normal. Kids need to feel safe. They can’t when they’re afraid. Or hungry. Or tired.
The feelings we have during those times wrap around us and make us think that is normal. Anxiety-ridden kids cannot sleep well, socialize well, learn well, or behave well. The learned behaviors, once corrected and once we learn healthy behavior, we see and feel the new result, the healthy way to be. It’s worth the work, believe me. It wasn’t you all along; it was them, their false beliefs, and misinformation.
They may be angry you no longer want to shadow life as they’ve known it. You get to decide how you live your life and who your “family” is. Hope they’re healthy and have a good handle on life. Life will become good and not hurt so much. You learn. You grow. You thrive. And you can help others.
Easter is symbolic of new beginnings. You can make one in your life. Start reading on the topic. I’ve read probably 300 different books on the topic in the past 40 years. It’s been time well spent. I’ve questioned, learned, thought a lot and formed my opinion, charted my own way. It’s worth it. Get started. A year from now, your life will change for the better.
Happy Monday after Easter. Thanks for reading, and we’ll see each other tomorrow. Be safe out there.