How Honest Am I?

I’ve been a bit off lately, and it’s because a person in my life has been dishonest with me. It is not the Babe, so not to worry. It’s someone who’s been dishonest before. Even though I’m used to it, it still makes me angry.

Is honesty a rarity in the world now? Politicians talk about being transparent. Lovers want honesty over anything. And if we ever want a chance of making a change for the better in life, we need to be totally honest with the one person who matters above all else; ourselves.

We can lie to ourselves until the cows come home; the outcome is we often believe our lies so much they become our reality. We can hurt others with these untruths. With how we perceive our progress when measuring personal growth, we must have real objectives to aim for, and honest, decipherable steps to get there. If you don’t measure up, you don’t progress. Seems simple enough. If you do a day’s work, you can only expect a day’s progress. Slowly but surely will get to our goal.

Billy Joell has a song called “Honesty.” Recorded in the late 70s and included on his grammy winning album of the year. It has been a long-time favorite. Listen to the words and ask how it applies to your lives. Are you honest with others? How about with ourselves? Are we honest with ourselves about ourselves? The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. No excuses.

As I look at getting back on track today, I’m going to pray for the person who was not truthful with me. It’s the best things to do, under the circumstances. This is not the first time they have been less than honest. The result? I cannot trust them. Now that I know that, I’ll be on my guard more. It’s a shame, but to protect myself and the truth, it’s necessary.

Maybe honesty is such a lonely word. However, lies hurt more than honesty. And they last forever. Don’t ask me what’s wrong if you’re dishonest with me. You know exactly what you did. And until you decide to change, I will not be trusting you. Period.

Go out and get some sunshine today. I hope to get the rest of my plants potted and dig out some dandelions from the little garden off the patio. It’s time. See you tomorrow!

The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

Cartoon character Garfield is quoted as saying; “The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable.” I would modify that to say, “YOUR truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable.” Yes, I’ve been miserable by my truth; my first marriage was never a good one, I lied to myself about everything and was not one to raise my voice and say, “This isn’t right.” I went along to get along. People were shocked when the Ken and Barbie of the neighborhood split up.

Denial is powerful, especially when your world is small. You may have few new friends, your friends are family, if you don’t have a job or career. You live in an old neighborhood, with retired folks who are your friends. I would see how unhappy their lives were. They complained about their spouses, living or dead. Is this what life is? I couldn’t believe it. I was so unhappy, I rarely smiled. “This can’t be right,” I thought.

Yes, the Babe and I are far from perfect. But we are perfect for each other. We are blunt but not hurtful with each other when things aren’t going well. Yes, the truth hurts sometimes. We check ourselves and learn from the kerfuffles of living with another human. Isn’t kerfuffle a great word? I heard Judge Judy say it, It just isn’t used that much. It’s a commotion or fuss, especially by conflicting views.

Photo by Markus Spiske on

Humans often want their own way. I find myself tamping down disagreement; not to “go along to get along,” but to check my ego and realize two people live here, and we both should be able to decorate, garden, whatever we want to do. My truth now is pick my battles. The Babe does the same. It’s called being a grownup. It’s also what you do when you love someone. It’s part of being a couple. Equality in marriage is possible, and it’s wonderful. It’s now part of my truth. And the Babe’s.

If you embrace the truth you find a way to deal with whatever problems are around you. You have to make decisions that may hurt. Change and growth do indeed hurt. Rejecting the old truth for the new real truths creates room for growth. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. The insights you gain help you dissect your current life and learn the skills to make the hard choices. With choice you begin to have a voice. We talked about Choices and Voices this week if you missed it.

Don’t get me wrong; I had to experience life as it was for me in order to learn and grow to where I am now. My soul is satisfied with life. I loved the part of my life when I was a Mom. My kids were the best job I ever had. They grew and left! No one told me what life would be like without them. I also knew I couldn’t keep them from having their own lives. Letting go of them was painful. And now, I’m learning how to fill that void. Writing has opened my eyes and given me a clear direction of how I hope to spend my next thirty years or so. Lord willing, of course!

It’s a warm but very windy day today. The Babe and I are both working on projects today. I love it when we’re both here, doing our own thing. He often comes in my office studio and announces, “Break time.” We both stop, sit down and have some water or other beverage, and talk. I enjoy that so much. Sometimes the break lasts all afternoon, but that’s OK. Whatever we’re doing, it’ll still be there tomorrow. I’m hoping it’s less windy downstairs on the patio. I can listen to the rest of my Kid Lit training. Then Cartney McGuigan (my illustrator), and I will conquer the Kid Lit World! We meet again in a few weeks, so I have some work to do – after I learn what to do! Busy and productive is always good!

BTW, Happy Birthday to Cartney! She turned 18 this week, and the world is now before her. She has a sound plan to begin. I’m excited for her. This young woman is considering all of the possibilities before her and planning how to get there. This is how life should be approached, my friends.

Thank you for reading today. You know how I appreciate it. Have a beautiful spring-like day today. Hope you’re not dealing with the wind, too! It’s brutal. Our new flag is snapping in the wind. What a great sound, though. The sound of our freedom. God Bless America, and all of us! See you tomorrow!