Machiavelli – an Italian philosopher and diplomat – said
“Only those means of security are good, are certain, are lasting, that depend on yourself and your own vigor.”
My security is based on God, myself, my husband, my country, my police and military, to name a few. It is a good, basic question. A basic need of human beings is security. After birth, a baby has a whole new learning curve being out in the world. They need to learn a whole new set of security. When they startle while sleeping and cry, they need to feel safe and comforted. Can you imagine? Yet, they survive. We all need the security they learn from being on earth.
We need to learn new security every time we experience something new. New and often times scary. Starting daycare. Starting preschool. Starting Kindergarten. Starting Elementary School. Middle School. High School. College. Moving away from home. Starting a new job. Starting a relationship. Starting anything, it requires we feel secure in what we are doing.
Security has to come from within ourselves. The stronger our sense of self, along with our trust of our decision making, the easier transitions are into new situations. Once I made the decision to divorce my husband of 11 1/2 years (back in 1982) I never doubted it was the right thing to do. I had no full time job, was on the husband’s health insurance, Mom thought my kids would starve, and very few people agreed with my decision. It was made with a new sense of security, by someone I never trusted before; myself.
If you were raised to believe women are dependent on men, you cannot trust yourself. As my very young marriage went on, I came to see I was growing up, and he wasn’t. By the end, I no longer trusted his decision making. He did not consider his family – me and three kids – when he impulsively bought cars or motorcycles, without thinking of consequences. It’s part of the reason we divorced. I no longer trusted his judgment. My sense of security was seriously broken.
Security is a basic human need. It is something we all seek. Some never find it. Others look to outside sources – other people, acquiring certain “stuff”, getting a perfect score, being president of a company, class, group of people, certain clothes, certain weight, certain hobbies, or our beauty. Our house is built on sand in that case. It crumbles and falls into the ocean.
What is in us, given by God and honed by our belief in Him (or another Higher Power), our security is never stronger than when we trust in God. I knew God would help me find my way when I divorced my husband, with three little kids. I knew God would lead me to the right decisions. I didn’t know what they were, I just knew He would show me. So what does that have to do with trust in myself and my decisions? Because God had shown me the way for a couple years before that. Led me to lectures for Women in Transition. Led me to going to Community College with a 4.0 average to learn and boost my confidence. Let me to a 4.0 average from my Bachelor’s Degree in Human Resources 4.0 average.
All the while, I learned to take risks. People were put with me who taught me many things. I learned to take advantage of legit opportunities, and if there weren’t any, to create my own. Yes, I learned that. Anyone can at any age! I’m learning that still, in my very late 60’s! It’s never to late to start. It’s only too late once they’re throwing dirt over you.
Take the chance. Create the opportunity. Write the book. Record the song. It all helps build your security. Trust your Higher Power. And especially, learn to trust the one person you can always rely on – yourself.
I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day. Think about who you place your trust in. Think about your security – or lack thereof – and make changes as necessary. It’s not advice I blindly give you. I’ve done it for myself and had some great success. Learn something new. Have fun. You deserve it. Thank you for reading, I’ll see you tomorrow!