Thursday Throes?

Words truly fascinate me. They should. Trying to come up with catchy titles is challenging. Some days, I try to think of a word starting with the same letter as the day of the week. Throes. What are throes? Something this day doesn’t need; pain, agony, suffering, or threats. No, we don’t need that at all.

The people of the Ukraine are experiencing it right now. I admire their President very much; he and his family are truly Presidential in their actions, example, and love of their country. I can think of no one who dislikes the man. No wonder their men are picking up arms to defend their country. Patriots abound.

The people who suffer the most? The babies and children. To experience that trauma so young will leave marks on them for their entire lives. Children from Iraq, Afghanistan, all the European countries from WWII, WWI, Japan, the Philippines, and others all have carried this, whether they believe it. So they subconsciously hold so much. War causes so much more than physical damage, destruction, and unseen emotional scars.

Life can do that to us, too. Sometimes we think we are so smart because we don’t talk about hurt and wounds. We think if we don’t admit things out loud; they don’t exist. We’ve all done it. And the truth of the matter? We’re not fooling anyone. Especially not ourselves. Why do we do this?

Well, I saw it growing up. The thoughts on teenage drinking at the time was, “Well, at least it’s not drugs” followed by, “Boys will boys.” I believe those thoughts lead to nothing but disaster. Car loads of kids, male and female, killed every year because of that thinking. The thinking it’s “only” drinking. No such thing.

In high school, I didn’t hang out with girls who drank or smoked. At least, not that I knew of. I didn’t really know my older brother drank as much as he did. They did not discuss it. Imagine my surprise when I found out. There again, I didn’t know the extent of it. It seemed all the boys did it. That didn’t make it right.

Instead, I stuck to the straight and narrow. I wanted to be so good that Mom would praise me, be happy about my behavior, and become happier about everything. It was hard having a brother a year older than me. I wanted to be as smart as he was. I didn’t realize I was until I was much older. And in different things.

You know, back in our days, the worst thing that could happen to a family was to have an unmarried girl become pregnant. It happened now and again. All I can say is it probably had the chance of happening more than it did. Many of us didn’t get caught. People assumed I got married because I was pregnant. Nope. I was just lucky, as were all of my friends.

Fast forward 50 years and nearly everyone lives together before marriage now. I think it’s a great idea. No longer does it reflect badly on a couple (especially the woman). Many couples have toddlers who take part in the wedding itself. It’s a family affair. My revelation doesn’t shock anyone. We have the advantage of knowing our partners better than 50 years ago.

So while my revelation doesn’t shock anyone, it would have 50 years ago. Time has a way of doing all of that. What doesn’t change is please be careful celebrating St. Pat’s Day. Safety first. I’m not impressed by drinking escapades, and shake my head at some stories I hear even now. It’s not worth it. Please be careful so we can see each other tomorrow.