What is Normal, Anyway?

It depends on who you ask.

Who decides what it means? Who decides if you’re normal? Do you have feelings? Are you confident? Do you always feel at fault? Is that healthy? Do you feel you don’t matter? Do you know what it is to play, or are you always working?

The news is: You get to decide what it means to be normal. Often, when we’re not allowed to play when we’re children, feeling responsible for the unhappiness of those around us, and we bury ourselves in work. I’ve done that. I never realized how much anxiety I had. Afraid of being hollered at; at school, at home, by adult neighbors, anyone, I tried to fade into the background. I just wanted someone to notice I was being good and helping.

I still don’t engage in shouting matches. Or relationships with liars. Or with people you can’t trust. People who steal. It’s just not how life should be. I don’t think it’s normal for a child to live in a hostile environment. Being afraid is not normal. Kids need to feel safe. They can’t when they’re afraid. Or hungry. Or tired.

The feelings we have during those times wrap around us and make us think that is normal. Anxiety-ridden kids cannot sleep well, socialize well, learn well, or behave well. The learned behaviors, once corrected and once we learn healthy behavior, we see and feel the new result, the healthy way to be. It’s worth the work, believe me. It wasn’t you all along; it was them, their false beliefs, and misinformation.

They may be angry you no longer want to shadow life as they’ve known it. You get to decide how you live your life and who your “family” is. Hope they’re healthy and have a good handle on life. Life will become good and not hurt so much. You learn. You grow. You thrive. And you can help others.

Easter is symbolic of new beginnings. You can make one in your life. Start reading on the topic. I’ve read probably 300 different books on the topic in the past 40 years. It’s been time well spent. I’ve questioned, learned, thought a lot and formed my opinion, charted my own way. It’s worth it. Get started. A year from now, your life will change for the better.

Happy Monday after Easter. Thanks for reading, and we’ll see each other tomorrow. Be safe out there.

Routine Friday, Finally!

After about ten days of having our life kind of iffy and upended, we’re starting to our newer normal. The Babe can drive again after the fall from the ladder and brain bleed. Tuesday is the CT Scan and followup with Neuro Doc. We don’t expect any surprises. Just want to be able to mess around with my flowers and enjoy the deck or patio, depending on the time of day. And blogging in the morning! Yes, I’ll welcome that.

After the last year and a half, there is no normal, in my opinion. Not anymore. Our life was changed forever with the pandemic. I think in general, we were overly confident about illnesses, and COVID changed all of that. We had our shots, but I fail to believe we’re safe when so many won’t get vaccinated. All we can do it do what we feel is right. I believe the masks are still needed, despite many state leaders trying to access vacation dollars for their meager budgets after a year of coming up short. Time will tell.

My reading today was perfect. The Epitath of Alexander the Great reads:

A tomb now suffices him for whom the whole world was not sufficient.

If you recall, Alexander the Great was one of the most famous generals through all of history. He conquered many lands far from his kingdom of Macedon, which was part of the Greek Empire. He conquered most of the known world in his life.

For a man who had to explore and conquer, always coming out on top, a small grave would have never been enough. It makes me wonder if he was ever educated about the things in life that really matter. Of course, the life was nothing like today, after over 2,000 years of Civilization. But I’m sure he had comforts available to more than the average man. Being a king had certain perks.

In the last couple of years, since I started writing (and studying how to), I’ve given a lot of thought to how I want to spend my time for the rest of my life. I’m hoping the rest of my life with give me until in my 90s at least, with my brain still functioning, and my body systems still working. Things like sight, hearing, working with my hands on sewing and needlework, all require a steady hand and fair eyesight.

What may your epiteth read like? I used to think I’d like to have, “She had CLASS,” written on the stone. That is in reference to my Aunt Anna’s comment, “It’s got class, kid.” Whe was a very refined lady as was Gram Jewell. They lived together all of their lives, and Anna worked at the phone company. She wore very beautiful dresses, many from a high end store at the time. She had Class. I wanted to learn that, too. I came to know it meant more than material possessions. It was part of being a lady. My dad always told me, “If you can be one half the lady your mother is, you’ll be fine.” That was at a time when Mom was happy with her life, before she became unhappy, felt trapped, and became an alcoholic. I transferred the “lady” example to Aunt Anna and Gram. Gram is my hero anyway, and she is who I’d like to be like. I’m striving, trying.

My epiteth may read, “She had Class. And a loving heart. A caring soul. She loved her children, husband, grandchildren, and she loved to create. She wrote about hard things. She shared hard times. She shared prayers that helped her keep her sanity. She slowly learned to stand up for herself. She slowly learned to set boundaries. She learned last to take care of herself, as she did for others. She loved her God, and always felt safe in His hand. She knew He would guide her, all of the days of her life.”

And I hope to have no further Adventures of the Babe that include ED physicians, falls, CT Scans, and scares for our family and friends. Give me nondescript days from now on. I can create my own excitement through writing, thank you very much. And hopefully, you’ll all keep with me on this journey. See you early again tomorrow! Thank you for reading.