Mom’s Day; A Day for Nurturers

This greeting goes not only to Mother’s, but also to single moms, single dads, grandparents, and anyone who has an influence on children that is positive. It could even be a teacher. Many, many kids have no one to look to for nurturing and guidance. Yes, we have to be careful in this day and age, but I believe you all know what I mean.

All three of Mom’s sisters nurtured me in different ways. Mom was the oldest, and in an alcoholic family, she took the lead and took care of everyone. She still plays that role. Every sister of hers shared insights with me about growing up during the era they did. They gave me an extraordinary gift, I can forgive her for not knowing what I needed as a kid. The era was “tough love” before it was ever invented, and I have to say, it didn’t motivate me. It did her, though. That’s just how she is. I’m not that way. Many thanks to all my aunts for being so good to me. I miss you all.

I think that has caused a lot of disagreements between us. It’s not her fault. And it’s not mine. We are simply like water and oil. Just don’t mix well. Don’t get me wrong. I love her and will always help her. She has helped me out of some tough situations by just being there. Always being available during an emergency; my son drowning, my other son’s ruptured appendix, and my daughter cracking her head open against doorframe woodwork while her dad was at Church. We’ve talked about life in many an ER waiting room. Thanks, Mom, for always being there.

Our daughter Tracy and daughter in law Monica; You ROCK! Thank you for the love you give so freely to our family and everyone around you both. You are different personalities, and you both love fiercely. I’m so happy we have the family we do!

To the women, like my daughter, who live over 500 miles away from their mom’s, and they dig in and decide they can do this mom thing alone, with no help from their own mothers. I could help you, but I’m not one to put myself into a situation where I’m not invited. You have always been fiercely independent; after all, I learned that from YOU; of course you don’t want help. I get it.

To my sons Frank and Nick, who babysat for their friend’s babies, and haven’t flinched at changing dirty diapers. I’m proud of the men you’ve become. You would have been great, nurturing Dads. You’ve given Sam, Joe, and Malachi someone to look up to. I’m so proud of you. I love being your Mom. And Becky’s, too.

To the men, who like my son-in-law TJ, have made ponytails, pigtails, and braids with their giant hands on a little girl’s head, who have performed on stage at countless Dad’s Dances at recitals, (you have a great extension there, TJ!), and who have worked extra so the children can have everything they need. You are also nurturers. TJ, I love you like my own son!

To the grandparents raising kids, you have a hard job. You’ve done it before, and are pitching in, perhaps doing it all. You are so needed, and I’m sure you’re tired, too. May God keep you strong and on your mark. May God give you grace when you need it. Thank you for what you’re doing.

To the teachers who use their own money to buy warm hats, mittens, and scarves for kids in need. You are doing much more than teaching at school; you are making a difference in their souls. Thank you and know you positively affect lives.

I salute all of you nurturers out there. And all Mom’s. It’s a tough job, and it can break your heart. And when your broken heart heals, it comes back twice as large, and you give more love away. That’s what we were made for, all of us. Just keep nurturing and loving. The world will become the place it needs to become. Thank you for reading today. Be Kind. Be Safe out there. Be the Love You Needed. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Some Saturday!

This was some great Saturday! The Babe and I were at the Post for their Craft Show. We enjoyed talking with the various vendors and seeing their talents. Woodworking has really come around again; we had three booths with that craft displayed. The usual jewelry makers attended, along with crocheters, knitters, seamstresses, and even a guy who sold golf equipment. Something for everyone.

The weather was overcast and chilly again. I believe it’s going to be like that again tomorrow for Mother’s Day. I remember going to see my mothers-in-law on Mother’s Day – both Josephine and Liz were such gracious ladies. Josephine had seven children; Liz had four. Josephine was ten years older than my mom; Liz and my mom were the same age. Both women worked very hard inside and outside of the home; my mom did not, mostly because Dad didn’t want her to. At least that’s the story she told. I don’t know my dad’s feelings on the topic.

I think since Josephine was older, she kept to the traditions which were “old school.” She needed to supplement the family income, the money she needed to take care of the kids and home didn’t make it home regularly. My father cashed his check at the bank; or at least Mom did after he endorsed it. My exes father cashed it at the local taverns he frequented. There were many kids whose Dad’s did the same. I am so fortunate my father wasn’t that way. He was a good provider.

Josephine believed the man headed the household, and the woman was the heart. She deeply loved her family. She had a hard life, but she was one woman who wore the title Mother as a badge of honor. She sacrificed for her children and loved when they would visit. Liz was the same way. She made time to visit with company, both in her home and at the nursing home where she lived for over twelve years with M/S.

My mom, once everyone left home, volunteered at the Zoo. She had her schedule of so many days to be there and even did some overnight babysitting of the nursery animals when needed. You had to make reservations to visit her. There was no dropping by unannounced. Partly because you wouldn’t find her home. If she was home and not expecting you, she startles easily. Even now, she prefers to know you’re coming, rather than have it be a surprise. She isn’t too spontaneous, she would rather script her days and keep to it. She has been that way. From high school years, I remember she would bowl in the City or State Bowling tournaments rather than spend the day with her family. I felt bad about that. We often offered, but she’d always say no to a meal at our home or visiting. Many years, I don’t receive cards from my kids, but do from Tracy. I get texts and a phone call from Frankie. It’s really not about all that. It’s about remembering.

Mother’s Day can be rough for a lot of Mom’s. Couples with multiple miscarriages. Couples who have lost older young children to accident and illness. Mom’s who couldn’t keep their babies but adopted them out to couples who wanted them. Mom’s who were good Mom’s but their kids decide to cut them out of their lives. It happens to good Mom’s too. I’ve read a lot about the topic. It’s amazing.

Be kind to those who seem distant on Mother’s Day. It hurts when things don’t work out how they should. When you have losses, you cannot talk about easily. I have a sister-in-law who lost a young child at two years old and an adult child in his 30s. So sad. In a world where just about anything can happen, it often does. Life is not fair.

As you approach Mother’s Day, if you don’t have a Mom, call someone you know who lost their child or lives far away from them. Chances are, they will be grateful. If you have a Mom, but she doesn’t want to be bothered, call someone who never hears from their kids. You will make someone’s day. It costs nothing but your time. We all can spare a little of that, can’t we?

Help cheer someone up tomorrow. You may not have another chance. Or they might not. I hope you have a beautiful evening, and splendid night. Be Kind, Thoughtful, Courteous, and Safe. Thank you for reading, and we’ll see each other tomorrow.