Today was a three hour conference with home health folks about therapy for Mom at home. She doesn’t want to go out, but isn’t good enough to go to therapy at a building. She is pretty much home bound, so she qualifies for assistance. The home had to be gone over with a find tooth comb, and lots of questions answered. She doesn’t understand the repetition is necessary. One discussion revealed a discrepancy in meds; not enough to be an issue but because of her hearing problems. Even with hearing aids, she cannot hear conversation. It’s frustrating, but just how her life is. I’m only talking about these things to alert other people their parents may need some assistance. They become pretty defensive when questioned about their home and habits.
The very last thing they want is to be removed from their homes because it’s no longer safe. I don’t blame them. Yet, I think I have less fear of going to assisted living than my mom does. I know the theory behind them, and am not as attached to our home as Mom is to hers. I suppose living there over 70 years makes a difference. She lived at her family home before Dad and her got married; they may have lived in an apartment until moving into our house. At the most, to have only lived in three places in your whole life is pretty amazing.
By contrast, I’ve lived in nine different places in my life. That isn’t too many, either, all things considered. My home is where the Babe is. My home used to be where the kids were. I love our house and area now, but the Babe still determines where my home is. If he passes first, the dwelling we last lived together in is my home. Especially since we love the deck and yard so much. I told him if he’s a cardinal in his next life, to come sing to me from the tops of the trees, like the cardinal sings every morning. He promised to do that.
As you consider how you’ll age in place or how your parents will, think ahead. Think about how you’d feel being told you had to move, it’s not safe anymore. I’m sure Mom, at 92, still thinks of herself as the 19 year old girl who moved in there with her husband. The time passed too quickly for them, and Dad’s been gone for 33 years in December. She was 59 when he passed away, and she worked for a few years after that, then went headlong into volunteering for the Zoo in Omaha. Now, with diminished hearing and vision, she is an old woman with 92 years of life behind her. I can only pray God is good to her for her remaining time on earth, and she understands all that happens with her health the next years. I realize nothing is perfect, and I can’t control things. I just pray and hope she’s not too stressed about it.
Take care and have a beautiful evening. I’m helping with a Craft Fair at the VFW tomorrow, and won’t put the blog up until later. Have a beautiful day and we’ll see each other tomorrow.