The World Has Lost, Again.

Yesterday, another call came we were expecting, but of course, hoped would never come.

Our friend passed away yesterday from ALS. Janet Lorentzen Nichols, friend to everyone, and my strong supporter when I was divorced (and before) succumbed to this horrible disease. Her husband, Don, was with her constantly the last months, as she slipped from walking to bedridden, talking to silence, and into a semi coma. By luck, I stopped and saw her Friday, telling her goodbye with a kiss on her forehead. Don is a rock, but a realist. Being a retired Firefighter, a Battalion Chief for the OFD, he knew the steps a body makes toward death. He called me Saturday afternoon. I didn’t expect it that quickly, but I was glad for all of them, her pain and fight was over. And now, ours begins.

Who is included in the group ours?

Don, her husband of over 50 years; her sisters (she was the baby in the family), numerous family members, nieces, nephews, in-laws, her two sons and their families, her daughter and her family; and lastly, but in abundance, all the friends she had. It would not surprise me if she, as an individual, touched thousands of lives during her lifetime.

I met her in 1980, as we had kids the same ages. Frankie and Janice (different grades in school), Nick and Donnie, Becky and David. We became fast friends. Back then, there were not many stay-at-home Moms in our aging neighborhood. The houses and long-time residents were all younger than we are now, so it was great to add a young woman as a friend, for both of us.

We added sidekick Kathy Snell along the way. Kathy babysat a bunch of children, and was mine when I got divorced and starting working. She and Janet were besties as I lost touch, moving into a different neighborhood and world. In those couple of years, between 1980 and 1982, we walked our babies hundreds of miles in their strollers as the older ones walked; spent time at the then-new Lynch Park at 23 & Martha Streets in South Omaha, made countless Zoo visits with picnics, made hundreds of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches together for the kids as we visited, talked, and solved the world’s problems. It was good to have a friend my age. It was a blessing to have Janet as a your friend.

We reconnected in about 1995, after a motorcycle accident took their son-in-law Dan and critically injured Janice. It was the day of Donnie’s high school graduation. It was also my birthday. I saw it in the newspaper, a little blurb on an obscure page, and my heart went to the family. They have endured so much as a couple, a family, and grandparents.

Two things stand out in my memories of Janet. First, she could talk faster than any other human being on earth. And never take a breath. I was still horribly shy then, so if and when she did take a breath, I’d add my two cents, then she’d continue, talking and setting the Guinness World’s Record for human speech. I believe she could out talk an auctioneer at a livestock show.

Second, Janet loved to cook. As the kids grew up, she worked as a lunch lady for the school systems. She would get to know the kids in line, many having her love and concern because she was that way. She loved you and was concerned. I’m sure some may have never had someone love them just for existing. She loved making food, sharing it, and showing her love with it. Those lucky kids. Hot lunch every day made by someone who put love in as the main ingredient. We were all lucky.

Later, she worked in Douglas County Child Support Enforcement. She learned Spanish so she could help people who did not speak English as their primary language. That is love and dedication, at work. That was how Janet lived her life; serving others. What a good friend, woman, and citizen.

As my the Babe and I sat on the deck this morning, the clouds came, a brief shower, clouds parted and eventually, it became sunny. Now it’s extremely hot. I thought about Janet and her first morning in heaven. I wonder what that was like. She’s probably not finished yet with all the reunions, and I’m sure she’s asking God all of her questions. All of them.

When we heard the cardinals singing, the Babe and I looked at each other. She was telling us to be sad, but don’t stay that way. Grieve, but keep living. As all of us left here without her, let’s tell all our Janet stories to each other. There are some great ones, I know. As long as we keep her spirit alive, she’s still with us. And that’s how it’s supposed to be. We don’t tell stories or blog to get attention for ourselves, but to honor the lucky one in this situation – Janet Nichols. RIP. Thank you for being our friend.

Tuesday’s Trips Around Town

What a beautiful Tuesday morning from the Home Office in Gretna, Nebraska. Wow, it’s not supposed to break 90 degrees today. What a shocker! This is a summer cold front in Nebraska; 88 degrees predicted for a high. Blessings.

I have to say, some days the daily meditations of my book “Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Meditations of Adult Children,” really hits is out of the park. (The NCAA College World Series in is Omaha yet again, as it has been since the 1950s, plus I love baseball!) Today it had a quote by Montaigne. Who is that?

Montaigne was a philosopher of the French Reniassance. He popularized the essay as a literary genre (who knew?) He was admired more as a statesman than an author. His quote was:

“Marriage may be compared to a cage: the birds outside despair to get in and those within despair to get out.

Some people believe, “If only I were married, I would be happy.” This is not true. I can tell you, if you’re married to the wrong person, you will not be happy. Some people believe if only they were married, they would not be lonely. Wrong again. If a relationship isn’t right for you, you will be lonely.

If a marriage is healthy, it can be a mighty hedge against loneliness. If not, it can be the container for many, many problems, issues, and misery. The quest for happiness has not one thing to do with your marital status: it has to do with your own self-esteem. If you are working on your faults and deficiencies, and have learned to think well about yourself, there is no limit to the happiness you can achieve: married or not.

It’s been a hard day. I love visiting with old friends, even those who are quite ill now. I will not abandon them. They mean too much to me. Yes, it’s not fun to see their deterioration, but I will not desert them. Tomorrow will be easier. Lunch with a longtime friend from elementary school and her husband. It’ll be a great day.

Have a beautiful evening, and we’ll visit again tomorrow. Blessings on you and your families. Keep them close. You just never know.

First Step: Resist Temptation

We’ve talked many times about breaking bad, unproductive habits.

I’m reigning my life in again, lots to create, only so many hours in the day to do things. Yesterday, we spent a couple hours with Gavin and his family at the ballpark again. It was hot, but not bad. There was a slight breeze, we drank a lot of water, and it was good. We stopped and had pizza on the way home. The header photo is our view from the deck yesterday morning, during coffee. I love it!

I’m tickled with my promise to me and you to start on my grandkids’ quilts for Christmas gifts. Yes, it’s early, but they take a lot of time. And it’s a perfect way to get used to my new Brother sewing machine. So last night, I took the envelopes with the first two sets of blocks. They’re from JoAnn’s Fabric Store. I decided to hand applique, so took the steps necessary to cut out the pieces with freezer paper adhered. Maybe I’ll take pictures later so non-quilters can see what I mean. It’s a start, and I’m happy about that.

This morning was the true test. The Babe left just after zero dark thirty to get to the Post and load the blank ammo into the rifles for the Honor Guard this morning, then load the rifles in the car for transport with some of the guys to Omaha National Cemetery.

It’s already hot and humid, but cooler and less humid than where we’re headed today. Took the watering can and dogs out, watered the flowers on the patio, played with the dogs a bit. When I came back inside, the national news was on. I just can’t tolerate hearing any more speculation about shootings, riots, and all the other stuff. I think we’re in a pretty frightening era. I flipped to the guide on the remote. Ahhhh. Chicago PD. All day long.

Without the promise I just made to the world, I would have plopped down and vegged out for awhile. But I resisted. Sounds silly, but I’m so proud! I’m really doing this! It takes baby steps to get started, and I’m there. It’s only Monday, but here we are. It is progress. And that’s a lot in breaking bad habits that waste time.

Coincidentally, a Facebook Virtual Quilting Group I’ve been part of for years, has dwindled down, not meeting every Wednesday as we used to. To honor a beautiful soul, Vickie W Calkins, we have decided to start meeting again. Vickie passed away unexpectedly last week. She had such a big heart, both for people and our pets. When we lost both of our dogs (we had them cross the Rainbow Bridge together; they had always been together and they were both ill), she sent me a couple of beautiful keepsakes; coffee mug and a necklace with paws on it. She was that kind of person. We will miss her.

This really speaks to the good of social media. A group of 91 women from many different places, forming in 2012 (I think) and forming friendships, exchanging quilting knowledge, and even recipes. I’ve made some good friends. We’ve shared victories, losses, ill health, and lots of life’s gifts. Another very sweet woman, Jan Kutschinski, suggested we make it a point to become active again, to honor Vicki. I think it’s a great idea.

One of the things I’ve discovered in life is God sends me messages about what I should be doing. I believe Jan’s idea for THE Virtual Quilting Bee to become active again is one of those messages. I’ve been wanting to dedicate a day to quilting for a long time. Now I’ll actually do it. Thanks, Jan. And Vicki. Motivation comes from many places. Check your life! You’ll see some, too. Sandy Long, founder of our group, thanks to you, too. Because of all of this, I’ll get more of my creativity back.

And now, I have to get going on other household stuff before it’s too hot to water the flowers outside, straighten out a few things, and get started on that quilt. It will be a very productive Monday. Stay hydrated today, folks. It’s beastly outside, and should be over 100 degrees with high humidity several times the next week or two. Welcome to summer in Nebraska. Check on your elderly, young kids, and yourselves. Heat Stroke is no joke. Be safe. See you tomorrow!

Thursday Things

When my first husband left in 1982 (at my invitation), my kids and I adopted a dog. The neighborhood dog had pups. She was a Spaniel of some kind. All her pups were black or yellow lab mixes. Ours was smaller than the rest and looked more like a black golden retriever. She had a sad look in her brown eyes. The kids named her “Shadow.” We had her for 16 1/2 years. The Babe and I took her for her final vet visit a couple months after we got married. He cried just as hard as I did. The kids, all adults, opted out.

After that, the Babe decided daughter Becky and I needed a puppy; We got a brownish black mutt and named her “Mocho.” She looked mocha colored, but the Babe called her mocho instead. The name stuck. She was a good girl. Becky took her out of her kennel and let her sleep in her bed to keep her from whining.

When I went on LTD, the Babe knew I suffered from depression and felt worthless because I was only 48. He told me to go look at the Humane Society to see if they had any puppies. I found a lab/shepherd mix, tricolor coloring, and the sweetest disposition. She was the runt of that litter. We went back and adopted her the next day. Mocho acted as her Mama and Mollie was such a sweet girl. Mocho became the alpha dog and Mollie the quiet one.

We got to have them in our lives for 12 1/2 (Mollie) and 14 1/2 (Mocho) years. We let them cross the Rainbow Bridge together. Hardest thing we’ve ever done. Mollie was lost without Mocho. They were ready. We thought we were. People never are. Even when you know you’re doing the right things for your loved fur babies.

We went nearly two years with no dogs. The Babe retired, we traveled some. When we returned from Puerto Rico in June, 2014, we visited a vet who had some pups only 4 weeks old. Their mom was sick; weaned the day before. They had a bug of some type. The vet compounded a concoction that killed the bug. Good companions. Cannot recommend adopting sisters. Two females, even spayed, were never friends. They battled each other. Yet, when Roxie died (by car) two years ago, Lexie mourned so hard. She exhibited signs of depression, slept a lot, and never left our sides. She wailed at the door to the garage. Broke my heart.

In October that year, the Babe had a heart cath and the wound didn’t heal. The skin was paper thin, and he had a wound vac for a month to get the incision to heal. What a mess for him. Amid this challenge, we adopted Goldie. The Babe needed her and her sweet way with him. Best buds. After two years, Lexie is no longer jealous of her. They have accepted each other now and peacefully coexist. Time heals a lot.

These stories bring me to this morning. We didn’t get smacked with the snow predicted. It’s overcast, cold, and bleak looking outside. The Babe left early for the Post and funeral detail. The dogs were antsy. I played with Goldie, and we had a great time. Then she laid down, happy. What does this have to do with life today?

Maybe we need to take a lesson from our fur babies. It takes very little to thrill a dog. Everything makes them happy. Play is everything to them. They adore you and let you know it. They waggle their butts and squeal with delight. Yes, squeal sometimes. It’s hilarious. Live with the joy a dog shows. Every day is the best day ever. Let’s all mimic that! Have a beautiful evening. We’ll see each other tomorrow.

Sunny Saturday

It’s a cold but beautiful sunny day in Gretna, Nebraska today. The Home Office has sunlight streaming through the entire house. It also smells like delicious home made chocolate chip cookies and brownies, our contribution to a birthday party later for our friend, Lou Riedmann. His daughters and son are celebrating large this year, with the family welcoming all of us.

We found out early this morning our other friend, Jay Donoho passed away in Oklahoma. He was a friend through the VFW. He moved away after his wife Teri died, and we’ve kept in touch with him through messaging, FB, and phone calls. We were hopeful he would move back to Omaha someday, and he would have made a good Post Commander. He will be buried in Omaha with his wife, Teri, at the Omaha National Cemetery. She was young and passed from cancer, Jay did, too. Complications were too much for him. Sad to know he is gone, too.

In reading back on some postings Jay did over the years, it tells me we didn’t know our friend well enough. His wife was ill during most of the time he lived in Omaha, and most of the conversation was driven by how we could help support Teri and him, and recently by his health. He loved scuba diving; he and Teri made many trips and had beautiful photos. He loved his mom, kids, Jesus, and the Air Force (in any order). He will be missed by many. It’s just sad, the more we lose, the harder it is some days. It happens as we get older. Part of life.

I broke many Keto rules early today, by eating cookie dough but it was so worth it. I can start again. Weight was gained over December and is stable, those 10 pounds are now 7, and we’re going in the right direction. We are having a variety of soups, appetizers, desserts, etc. tonight. It should be a good time. What do you have planned for the rest of the day? I hope you enjoy your people today and tomorrow. Be safe out there, and we’ll see each other tomorrow.

Thankful Thursday

It’s been pretty busy here at Raabe Ranch today. I had a great book talk with Sam Tyler, my coach this morning. I’m feeling a little sad because we agreed to take December “off,” and resume in January 2021. By now, I feel I’ve learned enough of what I didn’t know before that I can proceed on my own, with good guidance from a couple of books certain authors have written to guide other writers in their trade. Changes are hard, and I know we have become friends along the way. That is the best benefit.

I finished with shopping for the VFW Post donation to the homeless vets being served through Moving Veterans Forward. I’ll accompany the founder and CEO, Ron Hernandez, and a couple other people to deliver the goods where they will do the most good. It will be another lesson in the story of life. Some are sad, some are happy. Some show impressive growth, others bear substantial loss.

I mentioned yesterday about facing mortality, as Michael J Fox talks about his retirement from acting after his last couple of years of struggles with health issues. In the past five to ten years, we have lost a bunch of friends and family, mostly from cancer. As I went through my Facebook friends list, deciding on who to invite to like my author page, I am struck by how many of those people were no longer with us. The old-fashioned address book is even worse.

I think of all the people I’ve loved, liked, and had fun with. Fun friends from school, church, groups we’ve belonged to, and friends of friends. It’s a whole unique group of people you collect throughout your life, and if they’ve been with you for a long time, they really become part of you, and you become part of them. Friends, wonderful friends, are worth so much. It’s a pleasure being a part of their lives, just as it’s a pleasure to have them in your life. The world is so much better with them.

Today, start making the most of however much time you have left on this earth. I don’t care if you’re 15 or 95. You can make the most of the rest of your life by starting now. Start today. Be positive. Be Kind. Be Courteous. Be Grateful. Always leave home on a pleasant note. You never know how life can change in eight or ten hours. Be free of regrets. It makes a tremendous difference in your life.

Although it is late, I appreciate you reading. Tomorrow’s blog will be later in the day, too. The delivery of goods to homeless shelters for Veterans is going to be quite a story. There, but by the grace of God, go I. See you tomorrow. Stay safe out there.