Turnarounds and Puzzles

Ever hear of the comeback kid? Right now, it’s a hardcore punk band formed in Canada in 2001. Previously, there was a rom com starring John Ritter, about a baseball player. Generally, the term is used to describe someone who can be down and out, gather momentum, then be on top of the world.

I became a comeback kid many times during my life. After my divorce; after I graduated from college in 1996 while in my 40s; after the Babe and I married; and now, the hole left after raising kids and watching grandkids grow up is filled with my writing. I need to incorporate many other things into my time, so I get caught up with my hobbies. It could happen.

In order to be a comeback kid, you have to be present during the down and out time. You have to hang in there to fully enjoy the comeback. You can’t be a spectator during the momentum gathering. You have to do the work. You have to stay on top of it. Only then, will you have a chance of being on top of the world. Whatever conflict there is, you have to endure it. It’s not easy, but it is worth it. I know. I’ve done it many times. You can too.

People are capable of change, it can happen at any time of life. They have to want to change, make new habits, visit new places. I grew up uncertain how to participate in conflict. I never heard our parents argue, I experienced angry silences and didn’t learn until adulthood that was conflict. Probably the worst kind to have. My ex grew up in a home with lots of arguing and wouldn’t even have a conversation about a difference of opinion. Neither of us were equipped to have a conflict, work it out, then go on. I saw family members cut others out of their lives when they were angry. That’s unhealthy. I think the term, “They’re dead to me!” originated, not in a mobster movie.

Present day, I’m grateful to have learned how to disagree with someone. I am very conscious sometimes it needs to be low key, sometimes, you need to raise your voice. I try to only go there if necessary. We’re all still learning, and I’m learning to let things go. That is different than overlooking things.

Some folks I need to interact with get nasty about things. That is so unhealthy. Hard to rid yourself of toxic people when they’re family, too. It’s a constant reminder of why you tried so hard to break the cycle. You have, and they don’t know how to deal with you. The same old ammunition no longer penetrates your soul. The memory of it lives. They’ll never get better, they don’t want to. You were the brave one. You figured out the puzzle of your life and how the pieces fit for you. You found your truth.

So give yourself an atta girl. You deserve it! We’ve had a great day! An old work friend from Florida is in town, so the Babe and I met him with two other people they all used to work with. We had lunch and talked about some old times. The Babe has been retired ten years. Soon, he really will be. I look forward to it.

We both have some other computer work to do for the Post, and need a little relax time, too. I cleaned up and vacuumed today, so I am going to relax a little. Hope you have a day filled with good new memories, great music, and beautiful sights. If you’re alone, not doing well, look into the eyes of a child or a dog. You’ll see the light of hope, love, and trustworthiness. They will see the same in you. Life is all a give and take. We all need to be on either end and take turns. Like a teeter totter. Give and take. Sharing.

Have a great evening, and we’ll see each other tomorrow. Stay safe.

Acceptance

As people living on this earth, we’re never done growing and improving. It doesn’t matter if you’re an addict in recovery or a person simply trying to be a better person. We will never be finished! That is the blessing and the curse of being a person in this imperfect world.

It’s difficult to admit we’re not perfect. But you know what? After you are honest with yourself, it’s quite a load off your mind and soul. Accepting you’re not perfect helps a lot. And God loves us just as we are. He’ll give us every last chance there is, that’s how much he loves us. If nothing gives you goosebumps, that should. We get a lifetime of do-overs. What luck!

As we grow and change, we may or not want what we wanted ten or twenty years ago. That is especially true of things that keep us from achieving what we need to achieve in our lives. I have learned that despite the fact I only ever wanted to be a Mom, there are many, many years beyond being a Grandmother that can yield some awesome things; creations you’ve always dreamed of, getting to do more than you ever thought possible, and learning more than you could imagine.

There is a vitality in learning. In taking risks to do something you’ve never done before. In putting yourself out there for the world to see. Some will love what you do. Some will not. Will that stop you? I think not. As you go along, you have a new community you enter. Other people who love what you do. Others who understand your new found passion. Others who encourage you. It’s grand. Some will not be happy for you. Some will not understand why you want to work so hard when you’re retired. And that’s fine. You remember where you came from. You still love your people. You are not willing to accept the status quo. You want to push your limits, within reason. “Go for it,” I say! Why not?

We’re all born to reach towards love. We all reach towards our needs, in love and in life. Some lessons we learned weren’t universal. We are lovable. We can love. Our ideas aren’t wrong or crazy. Just because you’re different doesn’t mean you’re wrong or crazy. Since I almost always had my own room, I practically lived there while I was growing up. The old Beach Boys song, “In My Room” was one I related to on every level. I drew, designed fashion, wrote plays, and tried to draw. Mom always said, “You should quit trying to draw people. They’re terrible!” Thanks, Mom. I’d like to learn how to someday. My bucket list is long, and has numerous items like learning to paint. Learning to draw. Finish every quilt I’ve ever loved. All creative endeavors. My soul feels so good while I’m writing, learning, sewing, quilting, all the stuff I love to do.

I’m gradually carving more time out for all of this by correcting my bad habits that sabotage me. I’m not scolding myself when I fail. Some days I do. It’s ok. Tomorrow I won’t. Baby steps towards more life in my hours. And being positive. I would have never made it this far if I hadn’t always tried to be positive. So far, it’s worked for me.

On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, author, nurse, and companion to Mario Puzo, Carol Gino is holding a three day Facebook Challenge about discovering the rest of your soul – and adding a new level of consciousness to your life. I am very interested in this. I believe it will be an asset to me to learn what she has to teach me. Because of certain close calls in life (my son’s drowning, my other son’s ruptured appendix, and things surrounding my dad’s death), I think there is something there, inside of me, that I need to find and release. I believe it should be enlightening. Join us if you’d like. 2 p.m. CDT. Soul Star Academy on FB.

Thanks for reading today. We’ve had three weather changes already today, and it’s only 12:11 p.m. Rain, Sun, Rain while Sunny, and now more sun. Crazy. There’s a closet calling to me. It’s my spot to de-clutter today. Onwards, to better habits, folks! Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be back tomorrow. I know I will. See you then!