I’m concluding I’m tired with football. It seems endless, and I read a book or anything else to pass the time. Maybe too much being cooped up, not sure. Last night, though, we watched “Hillbilly Elegy.” It takes some understanding before you can see how good it is.
Why? It’s a very hard subject. While I’m told the book is much better with essential backstory, the story absorbed me. I know families led by adult children of alcoholics/addicts. As the sister says in the movie, “It didn’t start with Mom.” I don’t pretend to be an expert on the subject, I have seen the damage and destruction by these inherited traumas/dysfunction. People just don’t know any better. It seems normal to them. They don’t know there is another way.
There can be one person in the lineage who changes those dynamics for their life. This is what the young man did. He had to set boundaries and enforce them. He knew he could not help his mother. He knew he had to make his own way. It is a very lonely path to follow. I’ve been there. I also had an aunt who knew my struggle, and she was good company on that path. None of that means you don’t love the people. You just cannot help them. Do for yourself. It ends enabling, which is what they want from you. It stops here, folks.
I’ve always liked Ron Howard’s directorial work. I hear the book has many more parts of the story about Grandma, played by Glenn Close. She was superb. I think he did a great job with showing how families can pull a person back and forth, defying set boundaries to achieve their own agenda. It happens, people. It’s called life. It could trigger some people, for sure. Those at a certain level of recovery will see it for what it’s worth, a true story of an overcomer. And they leave you with the impression he succeeds. And for that, I was so happy. It can be done, folks.
The pic above is of our Roxie (RIP) and Lexie as puppies, probably seven years ago. They were so cute as puppies. Especially sleeping! Just lightening up the mood here a bit. And who doesn’t love puppies?
Won’t be doing any writing today, still working my way through the pile of papers I may want, and need to scan a bunch of papers for the VFW Website. Just stuff like that, takes up an item on the to do list, yet easily accomplished. Helps you feel successful on a freezing but sunny day. The wind is shaking a bunch of stuff outside. I’m glad I have a spot by the fireplace reserved for the afternoon with the Kansas City football game on. I just love Patrick Mahomes, he is an outstanding young man, quarterback, and citizen.
I remember my Grandma referring to people as “young man,” or “young lady,” and it’s funny to hear myself, probably at her same age, referring to people that way, too. Age is a funny, fickle thing. First you don’t feel any differently as you did at age thirty until you move or get up from a chair. When did all that happen? You just can’t place an exact time, you were busy living when it happened, and now, boy, do you notice it.
With that age and creakiness, you earn a different point of view about life. It just goes by so fast. No one has invented something to slow it all down. When you stop, you’re an age you never imagined you could be. I’m older now than Dad was when he died. That’s hard to believe. Yet, time keeps going on, and I’m so grateful for that.
One thing which stays the same is the touch of the person you love. In a lifetime together (or even 22 years), you sometimes don’t hug as much or even hold hands. As things change with age, it’s a beautiful thing to just hold hands. I like to hold the Babe’s hand while I fall asleep. Of course, he’s already asleep, but he still holds on to my hand. It’s nice. A simple yet beautiful thing.
A touch, a glance, our minds can spark a memory that can excite your soul. Sometimes, it catches me by surprise after all these years, but then I remember our first years together. You never forget the love of your life, and the Babe is mine. And now, as he would say, enough mushy stuff.
Let’s all finish out this Sunday with gratitude and humility. God has been so good to all of us, and we are so blessed He loves us all. Even at our worst. Thanks for reading, I’ll see you tomorrow. Be Safe, Be Courteous, Be Kind. Be careful out there and make it a great day!
Kathy Raabe 