Gifts of Birthdays Past

*** Originally planned for Monday, May 22, 2023. A technology glitch lost the blog, and I am reconstructing it after the fact. The topic came to me after a friend, Jay Miralles, wished me Happy Birthday and told me to write something special. It is nothing like the one lost.***

Yesterday, May 22, 2023, was my 71st birthday. My mind doesn’t feel that old, but my body does.

It’s from the disability, which was determined when I was 48 years old. I went on early Social Security/Medicare at the ripe old age of 50. It was depressing as hell. I was angry.

I met the Babe less than six months after I had a very invasive surgery to remove a tumor from my spinal column in 1995. It was crushing my spinal cord, and would have paralyzed me if left to continue growing. The spine had much less support and developed a 27 degree curve of scoliosis. It is most likely much more than that now. My uan neducated guess is well over 40 degrees by now.

The Babe is the one who first mentioned he thought I should go on disability because, “I didn’t have to work anymore.” My daily pain was on the rise every day; my relief was scant, even with pain pills. They did not help much after a while. I quit taking them. When I told the doctor I needed to stop working, it was the year 2000, five years after surgery. I’d been married a little over a year. The doctor told me, “He’s surprised I made it so long.” Wow. Gift of my 48th birthday.

In that huge change in my life is one of the Gifts of Birthdays Past – Someone to celebrate my special day with. He’s my partner in eating ice cream. Today, we met for iced cream, at Freezing Thai Rolled Ice Cream. It was so special!

After the bust of a birthday I had Monday, with Mom in the ER for several hours, this was a bonus surprise after lunch with the babe Tuesday. Such unexpected fun things are out there, all waiting to be discovered.

I’ve been fortunate to have the Babe, who is a very understanding man about a lot of things. My disability is the most important thing I needed understanding about. The other is/was the walls around my heart. He identified them, their reasons, and dismantled them. I learned to trust, that love doesn’t hurt, and how to stand up for myself like never before. Color me grateful.

We’ve built not only a life together, with the tangible things like homes, vehicles, etc. We’ve built a family together, with our kids, grandkids, and especially each other, and extended family. We are each other’s anchor. We’re each other’s best friend. We learn from each other. All gifts that are given to both of us, increasing with each birthday, Christmas, whatever holiday you want to name.

This is certainly not written as well as my piece that was lost in cyberspace. The point was to look back on some of the things I saw as gifts, and know these things are given to us on a daily basis. We are are all rich in gifts from the universe, or from our God. It’s up to us to be grateful for them and to use them well.

What do you see as your birthday gifts from your God, the universe, and how are you using them? Hopefully you recognize them, and know how to use them.

I hope you have a great Wednesday. Today is the Babe’s birthday. He wants no fuss, but we will (finally) have cake. The corners are mine. See you tomorrow.

Trust.

So much goes into giving care to one of our elders. They may be fiercely independent – which is a good thing, most of the time – and they may hold onto the reins with cold, dead hands. Long after they’re gone. Some folks try to control things from the grave. Conversely, they may be fiercely dependent – which isn’t such a good thing at any time – and they let anyone into their business. The family may never know of all the people who have insight into their business. That’s where elders can be taken advantage of, where things may go south.

I had an uncle who trusted anything Veteran or Police related. What that translated to, was when the telemarketers called and claimed to be either Veteran or Police related, he would donate. His kids had to lower the boom, and say, “If it happens again, you’ll need to go to assisted living.”

And then, there was the unscrupulous cousin of the neighbor, who got into the bank account and slowly depleted their Mom’s checking account; no one knew anything was amiss, until it was time to pay the funeral expenses. There was no money for that. How sad; their own kids would cause that issue for their parent.

What do your parents have set-up for when they’re aging quickly? Has your family discussed it at all?

Most people would rather sweep all this under the rug. The less said, the better. That is in no way how to deal with reality. Grown-ups talk about their business with family or someone they can trust. Believe me, there are some folks who cannot trust their kids, step-kids, cousins, and other relations to tend to business when we’re near the end of our journey’s and need someone to facilitate our final wishes.

I am so glad attention is cast upon elder abuse now. There are laws, law firms, lawyers whose specialty is elder law, and it’s a darned good thing we have them. The elderly are sometimes trusting, and that can cause trouble if they trust the wrong person. I’m so glad we haven’t seen that in our family, to my knowledge.

There can be no hint of impropriety when it comes to our elders. They have worked hard their entire lives, and deserve some peace in their twilight years. Too often, we hear of their kids or others who have an unscrupulous agenda at heart. That sort of news makes me so sad. Sad for the elders who trust; sad there are such bad people in the world, and sad the elders suffer because of it. If they pass away not knowing, that’s one thing, but if they know the person they trusted violated that trust that is inexcusable.

I have to say, I’m proud of the people Mom has around her. My two younger brothers are spending time each week with her, doing chores, errands, etc. I’m going to add two days a week, with time spent visiting, catching up, doing bills, etc. Taking Care of Business. When someone is nearly deaf and nearly blind, they could use a hand. It doesn’t mean they’re incompetent, it just means they need eyes and ears to assist. They can still be in charge. Delegating is hard, but possible.

The most uncomfortable conversations are the ones that need to be had. Every single time. Spouse to spouse. Parent to child. Sibling to sibling. Friend to friend. Wherever you are in life, make sure a trusted someone knows your wishes. Yes, it’s hard. But you are doing your survivors a huge favor. When the State gets involved, everyone loses. Give a gift. Make your final wishes know. Whatever age you are.

We’ll see each other again tomorrow. Have a safe, productive Monday.

Wednesday, Hump Day

Received a couple books from Amazon today; “From Orphan to High-Flyer,” and “The Granddaughters.” With the World Series starting Friday, they will probably come in handy. And as I try to get the rest of the way “well.”

Also received the November/December 2022 issue of “Writer’s Digest.” It has an article about winning NaNoWriMo. It’s short, with five points, and I’m sure it’ll be helpful. And I think it’ll help, anything will. Feeling crummy doesn’t help.

We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.

Today’s meditation and reading tells us about making a living and a life. Whatever our opinion of ourselves, we all have something to give. When we do, it improves the quality of our lives as well. We often know what it’s like to feel as if we have nothing to offer anyone. When we do it, we discover the gifts we’ve had all along, and gain some confidence, too. Finding our gift is important. Sharing it is even more so.

The past week or so, Lexie has taken to faking she needs out. As soon as we make our way to the door to let her out on the deck, she runs over to the giant treat jar, and whimpers. What a stinker, she is! Dogs are such a fun part of the family. Yes, they are a lot of work. And they are a pain, sometimes. So are people. We all can be. Then, you’ll have a bad day, and they’ll stay close to you. Goldie did that the other night. She laid next to me, and put her head on my chest. I pet her ear, they’re so silky and soft, and it was a comfort. Far into the night, Goldie laid with me, and let me pet her ears. How sweet she is.

As this day ends and Pat’s funeral is tomorrow, I think of how much she gave in her life. Since she was a young girl. And all through her life, to her husband, daughters, friends and relatives and students in the Millard School District. She will be missed; and remembered by how she gave, selflessly. I’m so lucky she was my friend, as well as a sister-in-law. Hug your loved ones a little longer. You never know when they’ll be called home. See you tomorrow.

Last Saturday in August. Trust Me.

Fall cannot be far away if our Nebraska Cornhuskers started their football season today. Of course, they lost by three points. The week of hype we’ve just had promised they were ready, and all the other things players and coaches say. We trounced this team last year. They must have been more ready than we were. Sad for the players, they traveled all the way to Dublin, Ireland to play. I’m sure it will be a very long trip home. Better luck next time, guys.

A daily meditation book I have ponders fake love today, asking if it’s them or if it’s me? I find that very interesting and thought provoking. My book answers the more valuable something is, the more fakes and imitations there are. Real, authentic love is a treasure, and there are many imitations out there.

A child has a different view of love than an adult, an elderly person who is widowed has yet another definition. Finding authentic love when we’ve not seen it before is hard. For folks with addictions, they believe love is shown by their person lying for them; to the boss when they’re “sick”, to the banker when the mortgage has been gambled away, and especially to family members when there is nothing to eat. Yes, these are extremes, but simple white lies can lead to these whoppers.

Hard to explain to these folks, love is not making excuses, it’s making them accountable. They don’t like it, so they tell you you’re in the wrong. Disagreements ensue, getting louder and louder. Hopefully, they don’t turn physical. Don’t stay if they do. Always have a plan of where to go and what to do.

Substitutes are easier, but hollow. They’re not the real deal for sure. Expensive gifts in lieu of being able to trust them is not real. Flowers after they storm out and disappear for days aren’t worth it. They twist the situation to make it your fault, and lash out. Hold your ground; they’re wrong, you’re not.

Authentic love is trusting. Trust was a hard thing for me. Funny, I’ve never doubted the Babe once since we met. He showed me real love by being there, every day. Not love that is infatuation, but real, deep love, and he worked to earn my trust. When I finally realized how damaged I was, I knew I had work to do. No drama. We trust. We both are responsible for our own stuff. It works great. Grateful to know that this kind of love really exists. It’s been there all along.

The answer to the question is it them or me, is it’s both of us. If they have addiction issues of any kind, it’s them; if we have trust issues, it’s us as well. Trust is a gift, to be given as well as received. The receiver treats is as the treasure it is, the giver knows at what cost it comes.

Have a beautiful evening, I’m going to read, as it’s rainy outside. Perfect weather for finishing a book and paying bills online. Pups are napping as I just did, too. Saturdays are great, aren’t they? See you tomorrow.

This Day. This One Here.

Life takes some strange turns, you never know from one minute to the next. You can be going along, all happy and everything, and then you get a call, a text, or some other way news is communicated to you that may change your life forever. You might internalize and over think it, and fear the same could happen to you or one of your loved ones. It’s human nature. We all do it.

Back when the murderer known as Nikko Jenkins was loose, committing four murders within a , month of being released from prison he left two victims in a park near where our mother lives. Another victim was killed and left in the street at an intersection we use frequently. There is a cross/flower memorial for the woman. She contributed to society, she was a mother of small children, and worked late nights while her husband worked days so one of them was always with the kids.

This happened in Omaha, Nebraska. The Police Chief stated at his news conference, “You might as well give yourself up. We have a team of the very best in law enforcement on you trail. They will get you.” And they did.

Horrible things are happening all over Omaha again. Many murders. Some with guns, some not. Whatever the murder weapon, I cannot imagine murdering another human, much less a relative. Oh, people joke about their mother-in-law or a sibling, but those aren’t in very good taste, IMHO. Neither are the, “I NEED a drink!” declarations, but that’s another blog. Our legal system is quick to stress the degree of the crime, First or Second Degree, and prosecutors may feel the degree should be First, but they need to charge and try a person on what they’re sure they can convict on. Justice may not be served where it’s needed.

Things like these happen. We have to recognize the evil in the world, and we cannot let it destroy it. It’s easy to become hardened and think the world is a horrible place, people suck, and there is no hope for any of us.

Yes, we can feel this way for a brief time. And then, we have to recognize there are more good people than bad people in the world. We must. We must keep doing good for those around us. We have to keep trying to make the world a better place. We need to be kind to each other. We must remember all of that, and raise our spirits however we can with positive thinking and doing.

If you’re a praying person, pray for the victims, their families, and even the criminals. What makes them the way they are? I cannot imagine. If you don’t pray, you can still think about the situations and how we all need good to triumph over evil. We’re all doomed if we don’t.

Humans are resilient, we are resourceful, we are guided towards protection, healing, and carrying on despite all sorts of horrible things. We need to impress on our children and grandchildren the differences between right and wrong. We need to follow our laws and encourage others to do the same. After all, the laws we abide by in our towns, cities, states, and country are based on the Ten Commandments. Don’t lie, steal, cheat. Don’t kill, maim, or torture. Don’t break laws. It’s not that hard.

No, it’s not wrong to do this. There needs to be a guideline, and our founding fathers all had some sort of religion. Even as a kid, we were surrounded by Protestant people/Catholic people in the neighborhood, and nearly everyone went to Church on Sunday. There was a common belief in something bigger than ourselves. Today, many people don’t hold themselves accountable to a Higher Power of any kind. What is yours? Who do you feel you’re accountable to? I’d be curious to know.

Let’s all keep up the noble fight of good vs. evil. Our survival depends on it. Won’t you join me in the battle? It’s all part of this life as we know it. And it beats the alternative. We all have contributions to make. Let’s do this! Thank you for reading today. I appreciate you all, and we’ll see each other again tomorrow.

Caregivers

Nearly every family in America has cared for their family’s elderly, sick, mentally challenged, mentally ill and others. There is so much that goes with that role, which often falls more on one person than others. Being human, we quibble about it. If you have one of those pot-stirrers receiving care, there is a host of other dynamics at work.

Our great grandmother on Mom’s side was such a lady. She always seemed nice to us, and we were pretty young and all at home. Her daughter-in-law, our grandma, did not like her. Grandpa was an only surviving child and the apple of GG’s eye. Grandpa died many years before his mother, so Grandma was in charge of GG, much to her dismay. Mom and her sisters gave her rides, she’d take the bus, etc.

I don’t recall what necessitated her going to a home; all I know is she hated it. She did the usual; accused staff of stealing; everything disappeared, and so on. The behavior became pretty bad. She’d call the police multiple times a week. I didn’t see her in that condition, I just know she eventually died. Grandma had to escort her body back to where her family was buried; Mount Pulaski, Illinois. She went by train, planes were far too expensive.

The poor thing probably had some kind of dementia and couldn’t help herself. Whatever the reason was, I don’t believe she did it on purpose, but that’s what all the grownups were saying. I felt dreadful for her. I hope those things don’t happen to me. There are no guarantees, so all we can do is our best and believe in positive outcomes.

In some ways, it would be easier if the care receiver could not respond, insist on their own way, and take part in destructive behaviors. It’s all part of what care receivers go through, along with exhaustion, wondering if they’re doing their best and all that they can. It gets overwhelming. Many days, all you can do it punt.

Agencies for every disease, disability, and ailment exist. Often the loved one does not fit any of those categories. It’s hard to get the care receiver to understand there may not be care for them without searching high and low. And don’t get me started about personality issues!

The truth of the matter is, some people can accept they need help, may not get to stay in their homes, and have to live out their days in a strange place. It is still up to you about the quality of that life, wherever it’s lived. Acceptance is key. It makes things a lot easier for everyone. Think about that when your time comes. I certainly am.

Give a caretaker some respite today. Say a prayer for their spirits. Do good wherever you can. Tomorrow is our friend’s funeral. I hope it’s a beautiful, sunny day. She would like that. Take care, and we’ll see you tomorrow.

Learning to Trust During These Times

Much is written in the past week regarding the mass shootings in the United States. Our society is at odds with each other over the latest school shooting yesterday. It rips our hearts from our bodies, no matter who you are, what your beliefs are. Second, Third and Fourth Graders. Oh my Lord. How can this be?

Up front, I am not smart enough to figure out the problem. I am smart enough to know there is not one cause. I am smart enough to know it isn’t simply a matter of gun control. Criminals and mentally damaged people will not comply. Be realistic. How can we be realistic and not lose our hope? This is the challenge. Are we up to it?

By example is how we teach our children the best. What to do when they ask if they are safe? We can tell them they are safe with us. They are safe with us, as safe as anyone can be. We cannot make promises about anything and must be careful not to. Only make promises you are certain of keeping.

We have grandchildren who face going to school every day, and I’m sure these questions come up in discussions with their parents. One daughter and teen granddaughter were in an outdoor mall last summer when a fight broke out with a large group of kids. Our daughter ushered her daughter to the back of the closest store, away from the door, away from all the windows. If there was gunfire, hopefully, they would be safe. They were together, which is what was important. Parents need to be realistic and teach their children how to be as safe as they can be in any situation. The son who is in law enforcement has taught his son how to be safe in a crowd. We need to have the skills to survive, and the skill to remain hopeful in our world. We also need hope to survive.

Please stop comparisons. They further divide us. We need to continue having hope. How? I believe it helps to remain grateful. It’s hard right now. Start at home. Safety. Love. Hugs. Security. The same we had after Sandy Hook and all the other horrible shootings. We need to convey the concept of faith to our children. Faith and hope go together. It’s not God’s fault these things happen. It’s the human frailty and evil left to fester and grow like a cancer in some people that is to blame.

We need to admit when our loved ones are mentally ill. We need to stop the taboo of “don’t tell anyone.” Just because we think, “he’s really a good boy,” doesn’t make him so. This person needed help. I cannot guess what kind. Normalizing admission of mental illnesses makes it much easier to treat. Help should be easier to get. That’s where laws and health care can start. Other options can follow. People smarter than me will have to figure it all out.

We will view news coverage of funerals, sadness, and talking heads. We are outraged, and many lose hope in America. By doing nothing, we assure ourselves of the same. Let’s start with mental health. Let’s make sure our kids understand there are consequences to everything. Don’t let them get away with wrongdoing because you have the money to buy them out of trouble. It will hurt you and your child down the road, and possibly someone else. We all need to be more responsible with our actions, our words, and our examples. Let’s start now. See you tomorrow.

How Honest Am I?

I’ve been a bit off lately, and it’s because a person in my life has been dishonest with me. It is not the Babe, so not to worry. It’s someone who’s been dishonest before. Even though I’m used to it, it still makes me angry.

Is honesty a rarity in the world now? Politicians talk about being transparent. Lovers want honesty over anything. And if we ever want a chance of making a change for the better in life, we need to be totally honest with the one person who matters above all else; ourselves.

We can lie to ourselves until the cows come home; the outcome is we often believe our lies so much they become our reality. We can hurt others with these untruths. With how we perceive our progress when measuring personal growth, we must have real objectives to aim for, and honest, decipherable steps to get there. If you don’t measure up, you don’t progress. Seems simple enough. If you do a day’s work, you can only expect a day’s progress. Slowly but surely will get to our goal.

Billy Joell has a song called “Honesty.” Recorded in the late 70s and included on his grammy winning album of the year. It has been a long-time favorite. Listen to the words and ask how it applies to your lives. Are you honest with others? How about with ourselves? Are we honest with ourselves about ourselves? The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. No excuses.

As I look at getting back on track today, I’m going to pray for the person who was not truthful with me. It’s the best things to do, under the circumstances. This is not the first time they have been less than honest. The result? I cannot trust them. Now that I know that, I’ll be on my guard more. It’s a shame, but to protect myself and the truth, it’s necessary.

Maybe honesty is such a lonely word. However, lies hurt more than honesty. And they last forever. Don’t ask me what’s wrong if you’re dishonest with me. You know exactly what you did. And until you decide to change, I will not be trusting you. Period.

Go out and get some sunshine today. I hope to get the rest of my plants potted and dig out some dandelions from the little garden off the patio. It’s time. See you tomorrow!

Security – Where Is Yours?

Machiavelli – an Italian philosopher and diplomat – said

“Only those means of security are good, are certain, are lasting, that depend on yourself and your own vigor.”

My security is based on God, myself, my husband, my country, my police and military, to name a few. It is a good, basic question. A basic need of human beings is security. After birth, a baby has a whole new learning curve being out in the world. They need to learn a whole new set of security. When they startle while sleeping and cry, they need to feel safe and comforted. Can you imagine? Yet, they survive. We all need the security they learn from being on earth.

We need to learn new security every time we experience something new. New and often times scary. Starting daycare. Starting preschool. Starting Kindergarten. Starting Elementary School. Middle School. High School. College. Moving away from home. Starting a new job. Starting a relationship. Starting anything, it requires we feel secure in what we are doing.

Security has to come from within ourselves. The stronger our sense of self, along with our trust of our decision making, the easier transitions are into new situations. Once I made the decision to divorce my husband of 11 1/2 years (back in 1982) I never doubted it was the right thing to do. I had no full time job, was on the husband’s health insurance, Mom thought my kids would starve, and very few people agreed with my decision. It was made with a new sense of security, by someone I never trusted before; myself.

If you were raised to believe women are dependent on men, you cannot trust yourself. As my very young marriage went on, I came to see I was growing up, and he wasn’t. By the end, I no longer trusted his decision making. He did not consider his family – me and three kids – when he impulsively bought cars or motorcycles, without thinking of consequences. It’s part of the reason we divorced. I no longer trusted his judgment. My sense of security was seriously broken.

Security is a basic human need. It is something we all seek. Some never find it. Others look to outside sources – other people, acquiring certain “stuff”, getting a perfect score, being president of a company, class, group of people, certain clothes, certain weight, certain hobbies, or our beauty. Our house is built on sand in that case. It crumbles and falls into the ocean.

What is in us, given by God and honed by our belief in Him (or another Higher Power), our security is never stronger than when we trust in God. I knew God would help me find my way when I divorced my husband, with three little kids. I knew God would lead me to the right decisions. I didn’t know what they were, I just knew He would show me. So what does that have to do with trust in myself and my decisions? Because God had shown me the way for a couple years before that. Led me to lectures for Women in Transition. Led me to going to Community College with a 4.0 average to learn and boost my confidence. Let me to a 4.0 average from my Bachelor’s Degree in Human Resources 4.0 average.

All the while, I learned to take risks. People were put with me who taught me many things. I learned to take advantage of legit opportunities, and if there weren’t any, to create my own. Yes, I learned that. Anyone can at any age! I’m learning that still, in my very late 60’s! It’s never to late to start. It’s only too late once they’re throwing dirt over you.

Take the chance. Create the opportunity. Write the book. Record the song. It all helps build your security. Trust your Higher Power. And especially, learn to trust the one person you can always rely on – yourself.

I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day. Think about who you place your trust in. Think about your security – or lack thereof – and make changes as necessary. It’s not advice I blindly give you. I’ve done it for myself and had some great success. Learn something new. Have fun. You deserve it. Thank you for reading, I’ll see you tomorrow!

Super Sunday, 2022

I spent a good deal of the afternoon updating the website for the VFW Post 2503 the Babe is Quartermaster and Honor Guard Captain for. I hadn’t done any maintenance lately, so it was definitely time. Volunteer hours, spent at home on the couch, watching the Kansas City Chiefs game tend to fly by. And now, it’s nearly 6 p.m.

So, when do you take your Christmas tree down? Assuming it’s an artificial one? Mine is still up, but I expect it will be down by Saturday. My son Frankie is coming over for a late Christmas dinner tomorrow. He was working, and we went to our brother in law’s home, so it works out well. It’ll be good to spend some time just with him and see what’s going on in his life. He’s a blessing in my life. Always is happy. Always makes the best of whatever situation is going on. I hope to spend more time talking with him in 2022.

I’m pleased we might have found a new church. We’ll know after a few more visits, and we’ll visit a few more places, too. That’s something I’ve missed greatly, so now, that’s one big question answered. Of course, with my son sharing dinner with us tomorrow, I’ll be picking up the house (and dog sparkles), so I won’t do more than plan our calendar for the week, most likely. There is so much a creative person wants to do and it’s so hard to select exactly which few of a hundred projects can actually be completed.

When I became disabled with my back/spine issues in 2000, I purchased things to do (craft projects) that I know I’d like to do when I’m older. I’m just about to the 70s for the second time in my life, and I’m not old enough yet to do those things. I’m looking forward to unboxing all my collection of books after I deep clean our family room area downstairs, where it leads to the patio, and I want to find a good place to donate the ones I don’t want/can’t keep. I need to find out if the library of quilting books I have can be donated to the local high school or public library for kids to learn these skills that may soon be obsolete.

I have a quilt my grandma hand pieced in the 1920’s, before Mom was born in 1929. I think this quilt needs to be hand quilted, and I’m going to do it. If it takes 100 years to make a quilt, why not? I hope to leave it to our granddaughter in Colorado. I hope it has some meaning to her. I have two other quilts I want to make for this year; one is a snowflake quilt for our king-sized bed; the other is a pieced elephant quilt for our kind-sized bed. I also have a surprise for a friend of mine, and want to look for fun fabrics I may not have in my stash downstairs. If you quilt, it’s all about the fabric search!

My master plan will include time in January to prep for Income Tax Preparation. Although I do ours, this year, I may have business forms to file, too. It’s another thing to learn as we go along. If not, I know a couple of great CPA’s. Networking is everything.

So many people are complaining how bad 2021 was. With the strides we’ve made blogging, writing the novel, getting my Chapter 1 published in the Nebraska Writer’s Guild Anthology 2021, forming my LLC, I’m delighted with my part of 2021. Yes, there were some very bad things. We lost four friends last year; two to COVID, two to service-related illnesses during Vietnam. It really stunk. It would be easy to sink into the mindset of “life sucks.” Guess what?

We cannot let it win. We cannot let negativity reign over hope, trust, belief, and goodness How do you keep that in the forefront?

I look at my friends and family. With all the weddings during and after COVID, my cousin’s daughter and husband are expecting a little girl in February. And some special friends announced their engagement this weekend. Those are events that restore your faith, your hope, and your love. Those are events that remind you there is more positive in life than negative. There is always hope in a baby’s eyes; and a gleam in a couple’s eyes who view their Ever After in each other. I see it in the Babe. I hope he sees it in me. There is no other beyond him. We both wandered about, living our lives and making mistakes, before we met each other. God sure knows what He’s doing, right? Somehow, we find each other. Always.

May all of us have our Ever After. Barbara and Jimmy, a heartfelt congratulations to you both. Life is too short to wait too long. And too fragile to question too much. I nearly talked myself out of the Babe, first real nice guy I’d ever met; he had ischemic heart disease. I was certain he’d die on me. Not yet! No heart attack yet after 25 years! Fear can’t rule these times. Put your trust in each other, and you will not believe the places you will go – together. God Bless You!