Ideas Explosion

Either it’s the pleasant weather or something is happening in my brain right now. We’re involved with events coming to the VFW Post in the next couple months and beyond, and my writing is waiting, along with my setting out the kids’ book, and I decided I need to make an extensive list. I need to write everything that occurs to me in this flurry of creative ideas. I need to listen to my brain, as it’s speaking what’s in my heart right now. It’s helping to define what I want to do with my life at this point. I love it. I will not question it, just let it flow and simmer.

It was too chilly to sit on the deck in our new chairs last night. Hopefully, we’ll catch some new chair time today. Yes, we’ll make it happen. Today is also another Carol Gino Zoom meeting which I’m going to watch. No title yet, but it’s a series about finding your soul’s purpose. I’m going to take a stab at writing books to help people, kids and adults, deal with life’s hard situations.

The header photo today is the beautiful glass blown work of Dale Chihuly. He is an American sculptor and has a similar display at Omaha’s Joslyn Art Museum. I love the color, the light, and everything with it. I could stare at it for a long time. It gives me joy. I wear bright colors most of the time, because they’re happy. I want to spend my life that way. Yes, I have had many losses, grave situations, and a host of terrible events in life. I cannot let them weigh my soul down. God’s been too good to me to not thank him every day for the blessings. To share a friendly attitude with the world. I think my brain, with all of its ideas this week, may even reflect this beautiful photo. I can only hope. Of course I’ll share. We’ll figure it out together.

We had a brief break on the sunny deck in our new rocking chairs. While rocking, my mind went back many, many years. 1971, 1975, and 1979, and rocking my babies. I loved doing that. In the middle of the night, I recall holding them after they were asleep, just listening to them breathe. That is truly a sacred time, between a Mother and child. To think of everything they both go through during pregnancy and childbirth, it’s amazing what God has created. I haven’t had a rocker for years. I plan to spend many hours rocking, reading, doing crafts, and enjoying the scenery. It feels like a vacation when we sit there. God has been so good to us. Yes, we both have done a lifetime of hard work, and we are nothing but grateful.

Enjoy the rest of your day. Get outside if possible. Look at the sky, the wonder of the earth, and feel the sun on your face. We’re lucky to have such a beautiful planet. Full of possibilities. And full of goodness, despite all the bad things that go on. You have to look for it. And create more of it. Create your own. Make it a wonderful world. Thank you for reading, I’m headed to the patio. See you tomorrow!

Tuesday Gratitude

It’s a blue-skied day again today. I always welcome this time of year. Lots of people had strange wind damage yesterday, it was a weird event which happens once in awhile. Weather is so strange. It has to be respected because it is so powerful. Many kinds of severe weather can happen in Nebraska, and other states. I’d hate a hurricane, Floridians would hate tornadoes. Blizzards aren’t that bad when you’re retired. It doesn’t matter if you get out or not. Just fill the coffee again, and there you are. Light the fire and watch a Netflix series or two.

As we age, we need to have lots of preventative maintenance. Kind of like a car. If you don’t do it regularly, you could have a lot of unknown issues that could be costly for a car, or deadly for a person. The Babe had a colonoscopy today, and all is well. That is a huge blessing. We are grateful. Come back in three years, what is a great outcome.

It appears Joe Biden has a running mate. I have no opinion of Ms. Harris, and it matters not to me that she is a female or black. Neither makes me think a candidate more or less worthy. I have concerns about Biden, and Harris, and about Trump and Pence. I just hope there is never another Presidential assassination. It is a horrible event to happen to a nation.

I was in sixth grade when Kennedy was shot. We heard all the gory details. After all, we learned everything about the crucified body of Jesus Christ by the time we were seven, there was no reason to spare assassination details. And we all witnessed the killing of Lee Harvey Oswald by Jack Ruby. When you consider the murder of Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert F. Kennedy happened in 1968, as did the riots at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago; we experienced a lot of violence. The violence human beings are capable of.

That violence happens often and daily in America now. Life seems to have lost it’s value to the killers. As many grandmothers and mothers do, I pray none of our family is harmed by this violence. One of our sons serves in the U.S. Secret Service, and he is trained beyond what we could ever imagine. He is a perfect man for the job he has. We are nothing but proud. He is actually safer than we are, if you think about it. God will be good to him, and to his beautiful family.

So true . . . let’s all have a good heart.

I fared well with a quick review from my book coach, regarding my rewritten Chapter One. Very minor things, which I will submit to her again, along with a draft of Chapter Two. I have an idea of what will happen in Chapter Two, and I’ll try to behave with my verb tenses, keep the protagonist in all the scenes, and keep to the timeline. All the stuff I learned in Chapter One so far. It’s a great process, I’m glad to be experiencing it.

It’s a couple days late, but the Babe and I are going to watch this week’s Yellowstone. He can’t stay awake on Sunday night for it, so we record it for later. It’s continuing to be a great story line again this season. The scenery is so beautiful. Makes me want to go back to Montana again. We left the back entrance of Yellowstone National Park to see Big Sky Country. It was breathtaking!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I thank you for reading today. I appreciate it so much. Be safe out there. Some schools started back up today, and more will go back tomorrow. Take a little time for yourself, be kind, be courteous, be smart. I will see you right here again tomorrow. Thank you very much.

Winning Wednesday

So much to create, so little time. Do you feel this way? Not just about writing, but crafting and creating together. Unfortunately, I have interest in a lot of creative endeavors. I sewed my own clothes for many years. To dress like the job I wanted, I tailored my own suits for nearly my entire working career. As I progressed in salary, I did purchase them, but still sewed for myself. I’ve probably also made about 40 bridesmaids dresses, and two wedding dresses. I loved doing it all.

Then, after I could no longer work at the age of 48 due to my wacky spine condition, I went on Medicare at age 50. And straight into depression. I felt washed up and useless. I was used to being very physically active, and just couldn’t anymore. Over the next 18 years, I had breast cancer, two foot surgeries, a badly broken ankle (all on the left foot!), and been through the Babe’s extensive visits/procedures thanks to the US Government’s use of Agent Orange during his tropical visit to Vietnam, and thanked God every single thing has eventually turned out well.

The new passion I had for quilting and creating ended the depression, I needed the creative outlet to feel like I was worth something. It worked. And even now, when I start to feel less than great for a period of time, all I need to do is make a quilt, a wall hanging, something, to bring me joy again. There is a sense of accomplishment I receive from that. It’s cheaper than meds or therapy and does the trick. The quilters I’ve met both in person and in Facebook Groups are the best people I know outside of longtime friends I have. Generous, creative, supportive, sharing, and willing to teach and learn. Good stuff.

So, I signed up to make this cute little picture for my laundry room. It needs something on the walls. If anyone would like to sign up, go to the above FB posting. It’s $10. Three one hour sessions teach the techniques. It runs August 2, 4, and 6 and the time zones are posted worldwide. 6:30 p.m., CDT. The project is called “Laundry Day.” The Website is: and it appears there is a waitlist for the class now. The project I’m making is pictured on the right side of the website page.

No, I don’t need more to do. I have plenty to do. I just want something to spark my creativity. So, something different is in order. The idea is to use vintage patterns, fabric, trims, buttons, etc., and you’ll recall some memories and good people from your treasures. I need to do this. A scrap of lace trim my Grandma Bobell crocheted or tatted, a button from Aunt Lois’s sewing treasures, and some fabric that was used long ago. It’ll make me smile, and enhance creativity, too. And calm my restlessness.

Any minute now, the Babe will return home with Gavin. We’re having sliders for lunch today, it should be good. After that, I’ll work a little on my quilt, and more on my additional characters for Katie to deal with in “The Freeing of Katie Fitzgibbons,” my novel. Little bits, and I’ll accomplish a lot.

Thank you for reading today. I hope you are well. I just found out today my COVID test is negative. That’s great news. I’ll see you here again tomorrow. Be careful out there.

Masterful Monday

Can that be right? Masterful is defined as imposing one’s will on others. It’s being domineering, imperious, imperative, and peremptory. Huh? It does sound pretty unflattering, even to call Monday. But I don’t mean it in a bad way. My intent is all that matters here, and my intent is good. It’s a good thing. How so?

I do not want to be a person who regrets not doing things they always wanted to do. I will publish a novel and some children’s books. Before I don’t have the opportunity any more. In order to do that, I need to have my ambitions and my skills and my purpose defined, mapped out, and get with the work. In a way, I’m imposing my will to do this on my ability to procrastinate. I’m making it the most important thing to accomplish in the next couple of years. Seriously. It’s got to be first. The hitch is here: it can’t be more important than spending time with the Babe, our families, our grandkids. Moderation is the key. And work like hell in the block of time I can spend on it every day.

Some Days!

Song of the Day: “I’m Going to Love You Through It,” by Martina McBride. I’ve been the woman waiting for that phone call. I’ve been the woman who hung up and thought, “Shit, now what?” It was terrible calling the Babe at work and telling him. He cried out, “No!” And he said, “I’m on the way home.” I felt terrible telling him on the phone. We always know when each other is upset, by the tone of voice. I couldn’t hide it at all. No, I’ll never play poker.

The month was October. Boy, was I aware of Breast Cancer by the end of the month! My mammogram came back needing an ultrasound. I went to have that done. The radiologist and nurse told me, yes, it’s a definite lump, and I’d need a needle biopsy. All through this, I was thinking about Dan’s ex-wife, Sandy. She was just diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. She had immediate chemo and radiation. We were establishing a friendship, as she was no longer working. I wasn’t either. It was wonderful talking with her about her kids with Dan. We were blessed to be able to be friends.

The Babe went with me to the biopsy. He told them he was going to be in the room with me while they did it. They tried telling him, “You might want to wait outside.” He wouldn’t hear of it. ‘I was in Vietnam, so nothing bothers me.” They talked throughout the whole procedure, and as I placed my right arm above my hand, the Babe took hold of it. He didn’t let go until the doc and nurse left the room. I knew he’d love me through it. There was never any doubt about that.

The doc seemed almost cocky, though. She said the three samples didn’t look like cancer at all. I chose not to believe her. The Babe, however, believed her. So much that he was dumbstruck when the news came. I wanted to scream at her. How could she give us false hope like that? Wow. I hope she never did that again to another woman and her family. I was angry for how hurt the Babe was.

Next step was surgeon, he was quite thorough. The lump(s) were too small to be felt, trust me, everyone tried. To get clean margins, he removed enough tissue that was baseball sized. Ponder that. I’m pretty lopsided, but not bad, didn’t have reconstruction. I was in my late 50s, and I’m so fortunate to be an eleven year survivor. I don’t like the fact the medication added 30 pounds to me while removing all the estrogen from me. I’d had a hysterectomy at 39, so I was already a “quart low.” Or more. I don’t know. It’s not ever been the same, but I’m so grateful to God. Screw the 30 pounds.

Tell Your Much Needed Story

My friend Sandy, mother of the Babe’s children, lost her battle. Her sister also had the same cancer, she is gone now, too. Oral cancer claimed my sister in law, Laura. All around us, it’s been a battlefield. How it picks and chooses is a mystery. Sounds strange, though, I have always felt I would have breast cancer. I don’t know if you’d call it a premonition or not, but I was not surprised at all when I got the call. Hard as it was to tell the Babe, it was the worst to tell my baby brother, Tim, all 6+ feet of him, lean and lanky, tattooed man. He is the kindest person I’ve known. I’m lucky he’s my best friend after the Babe. He was still reeling from his loss.

Somehow, we all made it this far. And we’ll keep going. It’s what’s in the plan for our lives, I believe. Without being cocky myself, I do find it easier to see the signs God gives me. They are everywhere. See if you can tell where your signs are. They are things you would never have considered, they must be acted upon with logical thoughts and plans, not reckless abandon. While it might be God’s plan for us, we have to do our part. Just practice, it will come to you.

Thank you for all your support and reading. You’re giving me a boost that is important. We’re getting closer and closer to that year mark for blogging. It’s kind of fun to look back, and see how the writing has changed, and how many things I discover about WordPress. I’m a work in progress, and it feels so good! Wash up, Mask up, Be Kind, and I’ll see you tomorrow!

“It’s Not Too Late and I’m Not Too Old!

Fabulous Friday!

Good morning on this beautiful morning at the Home Office in Gretna, Nebraska. It’s sunny and a little breezy today, just perfect for venturing out to our neighbor’s garage sale. I hope they sell everything they don’t love as much and people who buy appreciate their new treasures. Hadley and Connie are wonderful people, and we will miss them so much.

Life offers us so many comings and goings. Some are harder than others. Others are just, “Let’s get together . . . ” and often times we don’t follow through. We need to follow through so we don’t have regrets later on. We all need to. This time of pandemic and pandemonium opened up our eyes, I hope. Those kiddos are never going to be this age again. This is one of the eighteen summers you get with your child before they may leave home for college, the military, or a job. Eighteen sounds like a lot, but trust me, it’s not. It’s so few in the grand scheme of things. It’s a lot of snacks, “Mom, I’m bored,” statements, and back to school shopping.

I loved back to school shopping. When I was a kid, it was the time of a fresh box of crayons, pencils, and new erasers. Other things, too. New underwear. We did not have a clothes dryer until I was a sophomore in high school, or a junior, and Mom hung all laundry on the line to dry. I loved brand new socks, they were so soft, and would never be so again, at least until we finally got a clothes dryer. It may not sound like much, but these things made an impact on our lives, and we have probably forgotten about how lucky we are, with all these modern conveniences.

That said, although we were financially challenged, I miss shopping for my kids, too. It was fun to see what they’d like to wear the next year for school. Oldest son was always jeans and black concert t-shirts. I think he’s still the same fashion maven today. Younger son, was preppy in his time at Westside. He’s been a sharp dresser all his life. Daughter? In late elementary and early middle school, jeans, sweaters, the usual. When high school was on the horizon, it was the gothic look. Wow. It was different.

I let them express their individuality in school clothes. They knew there was a different level for appropriateness for family functions, funerals, weddings, etc. As a parent, it’s important to pick your battles. We wore uniforms to school, so I never had a choice. Whenever a day to wear regular clothes to school came alone, no one knew what to wear. By the time I was a senior, I sewed most of my clothes, so I was able to get creative.

All of this aside, this day marks the thirteenth anniversary of the day my brother’s wife died. Laura was such a beautiful woman. She had a heart full of love for her family, her kids and grandkids, and especially for my brother, Tim. After all the years of being the only girl, I was happy when she joined our family. Her time here was too short. She died so young, it was a terrible loss to everyone, especially her immediate family. We spent a lot of time together while she was ill, and I’m glad for every minute I could help her be less afraid. We had many hours of talking, laughing, and praying. I remember her tremendous spirit. It’s still with us.

Laura, my sister in law. Resting in Peace!

Today, I’m starting my next homework for my novel. It’s amazing how it’s changed, grown, and morphed into something entirely different in the past year. How silly I was at 40K words, thinking I could find an editor! Hahaha! Live and learn. It’s like giving birth, being almost ready to push, then go back to timing contractions because it was a false alarm. I may birth an elephant at this rate!

Have a beautiful Friday, and a safe weekend, friends.

We don’t have any specific plans for the weekend yet, and even if it’s spent at home with our dogs, it’ll be a good one. We’re behind on Yellowstone, so I’d like to watch the last episode sometime. I find it to be a very good story, the plotline is amazing. I’d love to see it written all out, and study some of the things I’ve learned with Sam, my writing coach.

Thank you for reading on this super hot day. The dogs and I are staying in from the heat, and getting creative this afternoon. Hope you have a good weekend. I’ll see you here again tomorrow, be safe. Wear your mask, Wash up. Whatever they’re saying, don’t protest, attend a political rally, or anything silly. Keep your germs away from others and I’ll do the same.

Happy July First!

Good morning from the Home Office in Gretna, Nebraska. It was a rainy night last night, and all the lawn chairs, cushioned or not, are soaking wet this morning. And, much like any other humid July in Nebraska, well, you know the rest. It will probably be this way until school starts again, in about five weeks.

I feel badly for parents when school begins again. Blended families, families with students in different levels of education, working parents, and parents who work at home, are all in for another round of, “Will my child really benefit from the education he or she will receive during the next phase of the pandemic?” One can only hope and pray. I really don’t know what the answer is. I am leaning towards masks for all, then sanitizing to beat the devil.

I’m making a bootleg calendar for my next couple of months. Trying to carefully measure out what is possible while meeting deadlines and Zoom schedules. We all need a little structure in our lives. At times Ihen wonder if I need as much as when we were younger? No, I think no. Retirement is supposed to be about spending time whatever way you feel like. That said, I believe we should still be contributing something to others, to still shine our lights out in the world. The Babe has his Quartermaster duties at the VFW. I love to watch the kids, and yet, there needs to be more than that. You can’t count on having enough grandkids to spend your time that way.

That’s probably a lot of the why I decided to write. I’ve always wanted to write Children’s Books. My daughter encouraged me over and over, until finally, I decided, “Why Not?” In the nearly two years since that revelation, I’ve worked on a novel, started another, and have outlines for several children’s stories. One is about the loss of a family pet based on our experience last summer, losing our Roxie. I think it could do some good for kids.

I had a very loose outline when I began my novel. I definitely see now where I could have made an easier time of it to have a better outline before. Those who never outline are called “pantsters,” who write by the seat of their pants. The planners are “outliners,” who know exactly what they will write. I suppose each writer learns what works for them, then proceeds. What a learning process!

I’m going to organize all my information in a sectioned binder, so everything is organized and together. I hope this works. Time will tell, won’t it? I have the “Personality Isn’t Permanent” book to finish, too. It will help describe the transition my character experiences through her life.

Reading is a Joy!

I just printed countless photos of all our dogs who have known Gavin. I want to have a themed book for him about all of his doggies. He loves the stories he has in his mind, and I want to preserve those for him. It’s neat to listen to him talk about his doggies. What a good thing we can share with him.

The school district our grandchildren hasn’t announced yet how they will handle the school year yet. Three districts in the area will do full time, every day for everyone. Two others will have a split schedule, 3/2 and every other week they switch who has 3 and who is the 2 group. Too complicated for me. It has to be hard for working parents, single parents, and those with no one to help them out. I think we’re all a few cases away from home schooling again and stay at home suggestions again.

We have to dig in, be positive, wear masks, and think of others than ourselves. I know, that’s what we have been doing. It is going to take all of us. It is going to take a very long time for the danger to subside enough for us to abandon our efforts. Our generations have never had to make a sacrifice for a national cause, for a unified effort. Most wars in my lifetime have been undeclared (Korea, Vietnam), and lack of national support deeply affected the veterans and the outcome. Lack of national support in this pandemic is affecting us and will affect the outcome.

Let’s put our pride aside, and our sense of entitlement, and wear a mask. Always in public. Shopping, in the stores, and if we go to eat. Remove it while you eat and drink. Be vigilant. Be on your guard. Wash your hands. Use hand sanitizer. Clean frequently used items such as your phone; all the remote controls, the controls on your stove, oven, and microwave, and your refrigerator handles. Door knobs and handles. Yes, it’s not fun, it’s necessary. It’s boring, but it’s necessary.

Make sure you are around to attend all the postponed weddings, graduations, and family events. Make sure your grandparents are, too. Let’s take better care of each other. Thanks for reading today. I appreciate it a lot, and am now going to do some more cleanup on Chapter 1 of “The Freeing of Katie Fitzgibbons.” I’ll see you back here tomorrow. Be Safe. Be Kind. Be Thoughtful.

Super Sunday!

It’s been a busy couple of days for us. Last night’s Honor Guard Banquet was very nice. The food was great and we had the pleasure of listening to Bill Williams, the person who sponsored all of the Honor Flight’s to Washington DC to see the monuments built to honor each war. World War II, Korea, and Vietnam. Such hard times. Such hard memories. Such healing. Mr. Williams was a good speaker, very personable, very sincere about his motivations. What a labor of love, and a healing event for these soldiers.

The Honor Guard had certificates for all the events they attended for a twelve month period. With parades cancelled this year, and a ban on burials at the Omaha National Cemetery for a couple of months, it was a difficult year to get them to add up. As things continue to open up, more funerals will be done, and more veterans families will hear the bugler play Taps. A hush falls over the crowd, and the bugle plays sorrowfully. What a moment for those who have served. A moment of pride and hope and faith all at once. They believe in their country and what it stands for. And they honor their dead as no one else does. I hope this continues on forever.

Today started a little earlier than usual, picking Mom up to go to another family bridal shower. This was a sister of the same bride we showered earlier this year. Her wedding was COVID-19 delayed. They had a civil service, but no reception yet. The sister from today, her wedding is scheduled in August, so we’re hoping it goes as planned. These girls deserve it! The makeup reception is in September. Good times ahead with my cousins, at happy occasions. That’s the best part!

So after an evening of honoring some of the most patriotic people I know, and an afternoon of laughing and wishing happiness for a young couple and their future, I find it was a wonderful but tiring weekend. In attendance at the shower were a set a twin boys who were identical. As twins usually do, they were premature, and have come a long way with quite a fight. It was amazing to watch them interact with each other. They were only about a pound and a half at birth and are small at four and a half months old. They are beautiful boys, and are very bright and attentive to their surroundings. We come from a long line of baby lovers, so we were smitten. I hope they come to the wedding so the Babe can see them.

It sure won’t be a very late night for us tonight. We’re needing to think of what needs to be done this week, and Gavin will be with us the next three days. It was fun to see our grandkids interact with their cousins Thursday evening, and then to interact with mine today. The circle of life, surely goes on, doesn’t it?

Still mapping out my work schedule for the next two months. I will accomplish more on it tomorrow, for now, I think I’m just going to finish reading Personality Isn’t Permanent. We don’t serve ourselves by adhering to self-limiting beliefs such as, “I’m an introvert. I’m too shy to answer questions about my books.” Wrong! This is exactly the time you will become extroverted! Or such as, “I am retired and think it is foolish for someone my age to take a risk like writing a book so late in life.” Baloney! This is the best time! You’re not limiting yourself because you do not care what people think!

Your personality has really changed all throughout your life. It will continue to change as long as you allow it room to grow and change. Look at how far you need to go to become what you wish to be. And keep on that path until you get there and further. You will never want to quit.

Have you ever been forced to take a personality test for your job? I have. It’s a bunch of hooey, really. One part was answer qualities you need to do your job. The other part was what qualities you think you have. It was a bunch of hooey all right. Who doesn’t want to be precise, technical, exacting, consistent, and accurate when you program software? And who doesn’t want to be flexible, warm, caring, adaptable, and understanding as a human being? Well, they told me I’d never make it as a programmer because I couldn’t pay attention to detail, be consistent, blah, blah, blah, my personality would be my undoing. The president of the company told me I’d better find a different line of work.

Well, I had news for him. I wanted to prove you could be all those wonderful things and still pay attention to detail and program like nobody’s business. And I did. Tests like this are bunk. I’m glad this book tells people that. I’m glad the Meyer’s Briggs test is also questioned. I think it’s too stifling to have only one set of four letters to tell you who you are. People can truly change. I have. People are more interested in what you’re about to become than what you have been categorized as.

Thank you for reading my very late blog today. Hug your cousins when you see them. They’re great people and a lot of fun, too. I appreciate your time tonight and look forward to seeing you back here tomorrow. Be safe. Take care. Wear a mask, Wash your hands, Watch your step, and Be Kind. It’s always in style.

Taco Tuesday and Other Truths

You won’t believe what I just did. After about 45 minutes of working on a pretty good blog (if I must say so myself!), I hit the wrong key and exited from the 700 word masterpiece I was nearly finished with. Much to my dismay. Wow. It’s vanished in cyberspace. Do I have any idea how to reconstruct it? Heck, now. So for now, it’s:

Take Two Tuesday and Other Truths

There is a reason anyone who uses a computer will always tell you: Save Often! Save Before Printing! Save After Changing! So I just committed the #1 mishap in computer use history. I hadn’t saved. So now, upwards and onwards, while saving often.

Today is another Gavin day for the Babe and I. We will pick him up and he’ll be contented to play with the dogs all afternoon. They like him, too. He has loved many of our dogs through his eight years, some he remembers, some not. But we have photos, and he asks questions about their personalities and quirks. He tells me, “Grandma, all dogs deserve love.”

I tell him back, “Yes, Gavin. And all kids deserve love, too.” And he agrees with me. A long time ago, a good friend of mine told me how kids do listen to what you tell them, even though it seems as if they have no idea you exist. They listen and you can see they did when you observe them growing up and being a leader with others. And she was right.

My friend passed away several years ago, and it was sad for everyone who knew her. She was a good lady, always there to help. Always there if you needed to talk. She had several types of cancer in her lifetime, which eventually took her. She was so strong, but what choice did she have? I’m so glad to have good memories of many talks with her. I still consult my mental pages of the Joyce Cross Alexander Book of Hope, Faith, and Love.

Confidence is a great asset if you have it. It is so eluding if you can’t stand up for yourself, either not caring to or by not knowing how. My lack was in not knowing how. There was a fine line between confidence and vanity, according to our elders in the 1950s and 1960s. Especially if you were a girl. I believe this is why many Moms lived lives through their children. Their children’s successes became theirs. Their children’s failures became theirs, also. (The term, “I have failed as a Mother,”) that TV character Beverly Goldberg uses is used for humor, but I believe there were a lot of Mom’s who felt they were failures. It’s a shame it took women so long to find their worth in additional areas besides motherhood. Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is wonderful and fulfilling, as long as you raise those children to leave you. Your job is to teach them so they can leave you, as it should be.

I have to say, it’s harder to let go when you’re a single parent, in my opinion. I struggled for a long time trying to figure out, “So, what’s next?” I still had a good relationship with my three kids, but I hadn’t a clue what to do with all that time, despite all my hobbies. I finished college for me. I was happy to have earned a promotion at work, so I would finally have a great income. (Mom always said when you don’t need money anymore is when it comes your way.)

I became ill after that, and within six years could no longer work. At the age of 49. That was a blow to me. I turned it into gratitude, though, but being grateful I was well and working until my kids could go out on their own. After that I met the Babe. By the time I couldn’t work, we were married and my time was filled. I’ve picked up on a lot of my old interests and some new ones, too. Filling my time is no longer a problem.

So with all that, thank you for reading today. Keep good thoughts in your heart today. Be positive. Wash up, wipe down, wear masks. We’ll all come out on the other side of all this in a better place. I’ll see you tomorrow. And by then, maybe I’ll remember what I wrote about in the blog that is now forever lost, out there floating in the wasteland of the Internet, unfinished.

Fortunate Friday

This, is what I needed yesterday

Today is already a much better day than yesterday was. For some reason, I was ready to burn all my manuscripts, all of my “how to write” books, and just give up. I tried all my tricks to get out of the funk. Every single one. Except for the most important one. Give into the physical fatigue I was feeling and get a good night’s sleep. Guess what? It worked.

Each and every time I commit this crime of omission, I feel pretty silly. Why? Because I know the best thing for me, when things are out of control, is to just go to sleep. I wake up again and my soul is refreshed, the fight is still in me, and I’ll go slay the dragons of my mind again. Every time. I’ve known this for over forty years. Why did I forget it?

Because the world has gone crazy, the messages are in an out of control feeding frenzy, and I got caught up in the vortex of the tornado. Again. The fact that I’m feeling silly is just because I’m human. Most of us don’t like to admit all humans are flawed. We are all flawed. Being imperfect is something we need to admit. Once we admit it, we can work on it. We’ll never become perfect, at least not in this world, on this earth.

I believe that is for whatever Heaven is. I sometimes think Heaven is whatever is best for us on earth, it is what we have in heaven. Family and friends, kids and grandkids, music and dance, puppies and dogs, flowers and breathtaking scenery, it’s all going to be there. And never end. No one will die. Or fall out of love. No one will be mean. Or bullied. No one will murder the body with objects or the heart with words. We will have never seen anything like it. It sounds pretty incredible.

Whatever you believe, I think belief in something bigger than ourselves is critical to living now. We are not the “it” that exists at the top of the heap. We are simply sharing the middle ground with others we need to get along with. Don’t infringe on others. Share with one another. Don’t hurt or kill each others. Do good. Do be good to each other. Do know you’re all just as lovable in God’s eyes. And your mama’s. You’re equal. Now all of us need to act like it. And stop the insanity. Please. Before it’s all too late for all of us. I have hope it is not too late.

Thank you for reading today. I appreciate you returning after a sub-par blog yesterday. I feel it’s necessary to share those to show we all have terrible days we can and do recover from, believe it or not. Show, don’t tell. That’s what authors are supposed to do. Have a beautiful day. Get some rest. Make some progress. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be the change. I’ll see you tomorrow.

My Hope for All of You!

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

This morning, I didn’t even watch the local news. I didn’t want to know what happened in Omaha last night. I want to, but just didn’t want to hear it. I have too many thoughts from the racial tension and riots in Omaha during the 1960s and 1970s. It was bad. Very bad.

The dissention between police and civilians is nothing new. When one or the other crosses the line, havoc reigns. This is what happens now. And neighborhoods are being destroyed. Within the law, there are many, many fine details that must be present and provable in order to charge a person with a crime. You may charge with caution, that is, you should charge them with something for which you are fairly certain they will be convicted. First degree murder vs manslaughter. Intent must be proven. And it must be proven by facts. Not feelings. It is very, very complicated.

The feelings are very complicated, too. No one wants to be a hard hearted Hannah. Compassion and empathy are two things we need as humans. They need to be balanced with truth and logic. The only sure thing that would have prevented the killing in Omaha was if there was no crowd and rioting going on. People push and shove. They get shoved back. In the heat of the moment, things happen that are not well thought out. If a gun is involved, a clear head should prevail. Sometimes, it doesn’t. Gut reactions usually are fight back. Bricks. Bullets. Bad results. Shame on the humans who stirred this frenzy up. It had a terrible outcome. Again. Please. Stop it.

I actually have been able to write today. I am going to use my main character’s voice to tell part of her story in first person. The first time she talks is when she is in kindergarten. I tried to make it sound like a little kid was talking. Pro Writing Aid is trying to make me say, “I enjoy coloring.” over “I like coloring.” do you know of any five year olds who say “enjoy” when they “like” something? Probably few and far between. Thoughts? Leave them in the comment section under this blog post. Thank you!

We had a weird thing happen this morning. Somehow, one of the dogs had a whole bunch of greenery from outside somewhere in their mouth and dropped it in a big pile all over the floor. Big pile of it. Neither of us saw one of them walking around like that. It doesn’t appear one of the plants in the front yard was disturbed. I need to check the patio. And walk around the yard. It’s driving me bonkers. I’m hoping this is the biggest issue we have today. It will certainly lighten the mood. I hope it helps us work harder in our area of the world to make it a better place. We need to be kind, thoughtful, respectful, and empathetic. Start with your home. Start with your family. Start with your neighborhood. It will grow. Be the change. Change of heart.

Be This Kind of Change

Thank you for reading today. I appreciate it very much. Hope to see you again tomorrow. I’ll be here. Hopefully with the mystery of the greens on the carpet solved! Be safe. Be careful. Honor and respect the curfew and each other.