Monday Evening

It has been a very long day today. Mom had a PT appointment, (her last one), and she seems to get more frail every time I take her out. She tries to fool the therapist, but doesn’t. Those therapists weren’t born yesterday, even though they are young. (Everyone is young when you’re 93)!

I would guess nearly every older person thinks they can put one over on those young therapists. My niece Terri, who has done all my PT over the years, knows all the excuses, stories, etc. I went for so long for so many different issues I know I couldn’t fool her even now, nor would I want to. Mom’s biggest fear is she’ll have to leave her home. My childhood friend Peggy said her mom was the same way. Her mom acclimated eventually.

Mom has no inkling of making friends her age. For over 50 years, she’s insisted she’s not “old.” I hate to tell her, but now she is. I’m getting there, 23 years younger than she is. But I’m not trying to fool anyone, either. Least of all myself.

You’re as old as you act, right? Well, no. Acting immature isn’t going to make you younger, just immature. Thinking young, being open to new ideas, and joyfully learning new things is a great way to keep younger. Our Grandma Jewell and her sister Anna were pretty progressive thinkers. When wire rimmed glasses came back in style in the 60s, along with longer hair, they told our dad there wasn’t a lot long with that. They did draw the line when one brother had hair way past his shoulders and wore a ponytail. They thought that was a bit much.

Sometimes, we need to step back and re-evaluate what we value, what we want to associate ourselves with. Sometimes, we need a whole new way of thinking about life in order to resolve an old problem we have. Instead of divorcing a mate, sometimes we need to divorce our parents way of doing things: by repeating behavior patterns we learned at home, we are not thinking about how to make our relationships work, we are simply repeating their mistakes. That modeled behavior is deadly to relationships. You must be open minded enough to try something new. It’s so crazy, it just might work! It’s worth a try.

As a new day dawns tomorrow, try a different way of thinking. It certainly can’t hurt. You might even like it. Look ahead, eagerly, to a new way. Enjoy, and we’ll see each other tomorrow.

Tuesday Thoughts

Well, it’s another day of challenges with the temporary crown that is, well, extremely temporary. I had it glued back in yesterday. By this morning, I opened my mouth to talk, and it fell out. Yep. Just glad I didn’t swallow it. I could have run to the dentist this morning, but we had some frozen precipitation (a/k/a ice pellets), and a lot of accidents. Just didn’t want to go anywhere. I go tomorrow at 3 to have it glued in again. The dentist isn’t to blame for it. It just happens. The prepped area needs to be covered to protect the nerves, which are just below the surface.

Tomorrow are a couple of appointments, writing the blog, and in between, lots of waiting. I’m reading a book by Anne Lamott called, “Bird by Bird.” It’s about life and writing. I look forward to spending time with since I’ve heard wonderful things.

Habit and routine seem to dictate our pattern of living, whether they’re good or bad. They make humans for growth and change. But, it nothing changes, nothing changes. Our patterns may be stagnant, along with our thinking and spirits. If we eat at Burger King every day, burgers, fries, malts, and we sit at a desk job, with no exercise, we may soon be uncomfortable, feel terrible, and act terrible. If we want a better situation, health, and well-being, we need to change our habits.

When our distress causes us to look for change, we go to self-help books, the gym, our therapists, our friends, anyone who may suggest things we don’t know. We need to change those habits and thinking. By challenging our thinking, our habitat, our friends, our way of life, we will stretch and grow to new heights. Change can be frightening and exhilarating, all at the same time. Once you get used to it, you look forward to it. Life is cyclical, and I believe humans grow and change with it. Learning new things is part of what makes life the joy is supposed to be. Too many people stubbornly hold on to the old way out of fear. Learning to let those fears go is key to making the changes we need for a fulfilling life.

What can we think of changing to create new, healthier habits? Better ways to spend our time? Better ways to spend our money? It’s amazing what we can do when we put our fears aside. Think about it. And we’ll visit more tomorrow.

Really? Elvis Said THAT?

I picked up my copy of Silver Disobedience Playbook this morning and read an article titled, “Seek The Silver Lining.” Sure, I’d like to think I do. Some days are harder than others. Dian Griesel talks about learning from life when things don’t go as well as we’d like. “The bend in the road is not the end of the road.” Yes, I agree.

The next line blew my mind. As Elvis Presley said: “When things go wrong, don’t go with them.” I immediately googled the comment, and several sources confirmed he did. The terribly bad ending his life had is so sad. Yes, he became addicted to prescription drugs. That was wrong. Too many of the innocent, talented people fell in with bad ones. His Memphis Mafia were not the best to have around him. Pills to make you wake. Pills to make you sleep. God only knows what else he partook in.

Addictions are tricky. You can be addicted to drugs, alcohol, electronics, sex, and just about everything. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Pain killers are good for actual pain, under a doctor’s care, and can be abused. Alcohol is another crafty substance. It can sneak up on you. With my Apple ID being locked, I’ve realized how much time we all waste on our phones. Yet, the next twelve days will still find me wanting to catch up on Facebook, playing my Word Search games, and of course, Solitaire. Who doesn’t love a rousing game of Solitaire?

People handle their pain differently. Many choose to ignore it. Then it festers and gets ugly. However it rears it’s ugly head, chaos reigns. Chaos replaces order. We might not like the feelings of chaos in our lives, but we are powerless to rid ourselves of it. The time, money, and company we spend pushes us further from order. We repeat the cycle. There is always hope for folks who are addicted. They need to be on board. If someone is making them go to recovery, it won’t work. It’s pure and simple.

My heart has been broken by several people addicted to one thing or another. I’ve believed too many lies, defended people who didn’t deserve it, and felt I could fix their hurts. I was an enabler. I didn’t realize it. I have learned that painful lesson. I’ve made changes in my life. I’ve set boundaries. Not just for them. For myself. Late-bloomer that I am, I’ve learned to deflect character asassination and undeserved criticism. Their weapons no longer work on me. My armour is strong. My heart is strong. You’re never too old to learn.

I’ve taken the hairpin curves life throws at all us. I’ve endured a lot. So has the Babe. That is why it’s important for both of us to have as little conflict as possible between us. We’re seasoned in what’s important and what’s not. Peace and Quiet are important. Disruption and Noise are not.

I hope this weekend finds you in a good place. We are in one. Take a look at things. If something feels wrong, figure it out. Don’t ignore it. It’ll fester. And you won’t like the outcome. Take care out there. See you tomorrow.

Last Chance! New Opportunities!

Get it while you can! Just a few hours left! Really? Who are we kidding? Ourselves?

Human beings lie the best and most to themselves. We all have entertained illusions one time or another. It’s different from entertaining childhood fantasies; imagination is vital to a child’s development. Truth is vital to an adult. We don’t like a lot of our truths. I didn’t for a long time. As soon as I examined why some of my truths were my truths, I realized it was usually something I made a wrong decision about, so it became my truth. How wrong I was. We all make mistakes along the way. Your truth can change as you change.

I foolishly accepted poor treatment from people. Family, friends, and people I dated. My fault for accepting it. Once I realized I could stop it, I did. Opportunities opened! I learned how wrong I was about people. I went from being a victim to being a survivor. Now, my first question is, “Did I contribute to my feeling of being mistreated? Can I put a stop to it?” Words. Semantics. They have such clout! Just don’t take part. Period. You’ll never experience it again. Walk away. It’s powerful.

Once my resolve was firm, I met the Babe. How’s that for timing? Although I was sure he would find fault with me, he didn’t. He honestly told me I had walls built around me from being hurt. “WHAT??” I thought I hid it well. Not from a person who genuinely loved me. I’ve learned to love myself and be patient with myself. I’m so lucky to have a good person to travel the rest of time with. Together. No more deceiving me. Just honesty. And it’s everything.

Again, it’s more my nature to look at good things. Yes, even in 2020, there have been good things. We have another healthy grandchild in Colorado. Our entire extended family has remained healthy. No COVID-19, and although we have friends and acquaintances who had COVID, they have all recovered.

The happiest moment at our VFW Post 2503 was when Nebraska Patient #1 and #2 (A young woman and her father), came back to the VFW for a Hamburger Night. You could tell she was a little tentative looking at everyone. We all stood, said, “Welcome back, Emma!” and applauded. Emma broke into a smile and hugged as many people as she could. Her dad shook hands and thanked us all. It was a moment for the ages. Good always triumphs! Emma has now moved into a group home, and her life is going well.

Were there times we hated 2020? Sure. We had many discussions about how we felt. The Babe, a Vietnam Veteran, said, “The last time I felt so out of control was in Vietnam. You never knew from one minute to the next if we’d get hit and you’d die, or survive. That is stressful constantly, just like this illness is. All we can do is sit and wait.” We spent a lot of quality time together, watching movies, tv series, and talking. I’m so glad to be with my best friend 24/7. Being human, yes, we need a break from each other now and again. It’s so nice to be cozy at home together.

I’m glad I stuck with my idea of how life should be, because it turned out, it was a real thing! How surprised I was! I was right all the time! It’s not a big deal I was right (vs. being wrong), it was a big deal because my ideal was possible! I’m not an overly competitive person. Being spot on in this situation meant the world to me. Perhaps I could be in charge of my own life. What a concept! No, this isn’t a victim speaking; it is a survivor.

YES! 365 Opportunities!

And you know what? We have also all survived 2020. Many have thrived. My musician friends have new music to debut in 2021 and promote what they released late this year. I hope they can all go back to the road again. Some of them had a 90% drop in revenue during the Pandemic. 2021 is a year for all of them to shine and come back stronger than ever. Support these artists, they need you and you need them!

Thanks for reading today and for following my blog. We will have many new things happening next year and have many celebrations along the way. I want to share them all with you, my family, friends, and followers. Have a beautiful rest of the day and start 2021 on a positive note; safely! See you tomorrow!