I know, usually the day of the week doesn’t matter that much to me. This week has been very hard, and I’m so grateful it’s over and I don’t have to leave the house today. Boring, normal chores around the house are welcomed today. I’m grateful to be able to do them, after watching my friend Janet lost everything to ALS. It puts life in perspective. Right now, I’m so grateful, I don’t mind dusting, vacuuming, and all that goes with living.
Grief wears many, many faces. The experts call them “stages.” One resource names only five stages, another names seven. However many there are, they include: DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, ACCEPTANCE. For the list of seven, add SHOCK, and PROCESSING THE GRIEF.
Whatever the stages are, we all will go through them. Right now, I’m probably in acceptance. Easy for me, but probably far off for family and closer friends. I’ve talked before about the worst year of my life, 1988. I lost my best friend in June, my grandma, and ex-father-in-law in September, we found out Dad had cancer in October, and he died December 7. It was a lot to process. Too much.
It lead to my breaking up with a three year boyfriend. When my friend died, he couldn’t understand why I wasn’t “over it” in a couple of weeks. I was astounded. Goodbye, George. I’m so glad we bid each other farewell. I could not have handled him during my dad’s illness and death.
That was the first time I experienced a different kind of grief. The bone-chilling, gut-wrenching pain. I know of no other way to describe it. You just want it to end. It doesn’t. You learn to ride the waves of all the feelings, and gradually learn to deal with the roller coaster ride. Eventually, it does become easier to handle. You need to reach the point of accepting and continuing your life, growth, and path.
If you need any written materials to help you learn more about your grief and how to live with it, visit my friends at the Centering Corporation. They are the experts on grief and healing, with more than twenty years experience helping people. They have a whole store of information about the grieving process in any situation. Tell them I sent you.
It’s been the kind of week we are glad is over. At the same time, it’s made us aware how very fragile life is. Give some love to your people today, and remember; we’ll see each other tomorrow. Take care.