ATM Blues, Part II

Back in February, I wrote about the problems I was having with a new ATM card. The new machine upgrades were incompatible with the raised letters and numbers on the card. A branch office said they had some problems and issued me a flat card. Things were working well, until I received a new green card, just like my ATM card. I figured they were issuing new ones to catch us up. No problem.

Lately, it is a 30 minute wait to talk to a human in their customer service department. Something is wrong with that. Either their software upgrades aren’t being tested for every thing than can happen, or they cut staff too much. Service is not what it once was. So, new green card in hand, as my ATM card always was colored, we went off to the machine. No money. What?? I later called, reset my PIN, and tried again today. Still no money. What gives?

Much as I pride myself in my patience, it was wearing thin. I waited and a person called me to his window. I explained the problem. He said “No, this is a credit card.” I said, I always run my transactions as CREDIT for the extra protection there is. I assumed because it was green, as my ATM card had always been, it was a new ATM card. The only place there is a referral to “Credit Card” on the paper it arrived glued upon was under the “credit” card. Who looks at that? Why couldn’t they have told me in advance they were changing my Platinum colored VISA card to GREEN? I would have known better.

I found myself very angry at the situation. Not because I made a mistake. I believe their failure to anticipate a situation like this makes me doubt their effectiveness in business. It was a huge change they did not prepare their customers for at all. A business doesn’t do that. No, it’s not because I’m and elderly woman who doesn’t get computers. I understand them quite well, “for a girl.” Common sense should have made them aware of the frustration they would be causing. In the times I worked, you didn’t leave a stone like this unturned. I didn’t like myself getting angry. I plan to document the experience and they will ignore me, and think I’m daft, dismissing my concerns.

The countless meetings we had when introducing changes to any insurance system required lots of investigation, and a tally of everything (and I mean everything!) it could possibly affect. No wonder the companay I used to work for sold off all of their health insurance business. They now deal with investing and property management. Smart move, they got out before Obamacare was introduced. I was there in the 1990’s when Clinton was elected. We lost a lot of good people who jumped ship and went to First Data Corporation. They were not waiting until our jobs were done away with. Smart moves, guys.

At this point, I have put a pin in the frustration and anger. It’s over. I won’t carry it or let it ruin my day. All I can do is pray somehow the world has common sense and better project management for big changes in people’s insurance, banking, and medical care issues. It’s a huge deal to retired people, and should be for anyone using such services. Soapbox is not put away. Thank you!

What do you think? Have you had a similar experience? Tell me in the comments. I’d like to know. The moral of this story is, “Don’t let it ruin our day.” Thanks for reading. See you tomorrow! Be Safe.

(Mumbling) Monday?

It could have been. It very easily could have been. Instead, I forgave myself for being human. For sometimes forgetting where I’ve put things. It’s happened a couple times. The first time, I found what I was looking for by simply moving something else. Like magic! There it was.

The second time wasn’t as magical. I emptied the middle desk drawer in the Babe’s office, and for the life of me, I couldn’t find our Safe Deposit Keys. Oh boy, this will be expensive. Not good. I proceeded to beat myself up, which was old behavior. I could feel my normal good mood start to ebb. It’s going to be rain all day, don’t need it to be in a bad mood! NO! I called the Babe.

He immediately encouraged me. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s ok. Really? Well, yes. Yes it is. Not a big deal. I came in off the ledge. As we were talking, I mentioned some things we had at home that I would place back in the Safe Deposit Box. Passports. Other important papers. I went to the jewelry armoire and opened the bottom drawer. I removed the travel belt I received from a friend’s belongings after she died. It has two pockets. One pocket had the Passports. The other? It had the Bank Envelope with the Safe Deposit Box Keys in it. I thanked our friend Sharon Reidmann over and over for helping St. Anthony find my “lost” items. Whew! I can almost hear Sharon tell me, “You need to be neater.” True. I do. Working on it.

Note to self: Start writing down where we hide stuff. We’re getting to that age where we honestly may not remember everything as we used to. Better safe than sorry! My Catholic upbringing yielded a quick prayer to the Saint in charge of lost items. We Catholics have a Saint for everything. Thank goodness. Not sure who the Saint is for memory. Anyone?

Easter will be upon us in another couple weeks. Growing up Catholic, we learned about all the days surrounding Easter. Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and how we remembered each of them on their own special days. There was a lot of ritual connected with them, and somehow, I miss all that. My older brother was an altar boy, I was a choir girl, and our presence was expected at all these ceremonies. We were there, front and center.

Two years in a row, my mother became deathly ill, and we went to stay at our Grandma Jewell’s, while Mom was in the hospital. First time, on Palm Sunday, she had a bad gall bladder attack. She had surgery the next day, and was hospitalized for over a week. The Second time, she was hospitalized and put in traction for her back. Bed rest and traction, along with muscle relaxers ruled her life for another week. She repeatedly counted the tiles in the ceiling. She truly thought she’d go insane.

We attended Grandma’s Church for all the services on those special days. We must have been out of school, but I truly don’t recall getting the whole week off, usually we had school Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and were out Thursday and Friday. Grandpa had already passed away, so I know he wasn’t available to take us to school. I’ll have to check on those details.

When the third year rolled around, we were wondering what would cause Mom to be hospitalized that year? It became sort of a joke, wondering what would happen next. Nothing ever did. Good thing, Dad was lost without her to keep the house running smoothly. She did a good job.

As I remain grateful for finding my lost item, thank you for reading today. Take it easy on yourself first. Then a deep breath and calm down. You will find what is lost, even if it’s yourself! Thank you for reading. I appreciate it more than you know. Find some brightness in this gloomy day. The grass will need mowing if the rain keeps up! Take care of each other out there. Be Kind. Be Safe. Be Courteous. See you tomorrow!

Shower-y Sunday

It started raining yesterday and has yet to quit. It’s a pleasant sort of rain, not one to be a gully washer. The creek behind us is almost full. With 2 – 3 inches of rain expected total, it doesn’t surprise me. We think this will really green up our grass. The back yard will muddy up. Goldie has worn two paths while playing catch. It’s ok. When you have kids or dogs, it’s expected. It’ll grow back someday.

A couple days ago, I wrote about Cynicism. Interesting topic, I turned the page this morning in my “Silver Disobedience” book by Dian Griesel. It’s a collection of her writings, blogs, and random topics on aging. She has a blurb about cynicism. It can be the only thing that makes us old. It replaces contentment with bitterness. Trust is replaced by distrust. Doubt replaces trust. Pessimism overtakes optimism. Sarcasm dominates. Faith and trust must be worked on.Old age happens at any time, any age. Avoiding cynicism is the key to remaining forever young.

I would highly recommend following her. While she is a model for the famous Wilhelmena Modeling Agency, she doesn’t concentrate on outer beauty. She concentrates on attitude and the care we should all give our bodies and soul. She’s a breathtakingly beautiful woman in her 60s. Imagine that! Once I saw her fabulous head of silver/gray hair, I knew it was ok to keep letting my COVID-coiffe continue growing. It’s now acceptable! Who knew?

I love this part of my life. It’s so awesome, the older grandkids are measuring how close they are to us in height. Some are very close. Whenever any of my cousins bragged they were as tall as Grandma Bobell, she’d say, “Well, that’s no big feat! I’m only four feet ten inches!” And she laughed her funny laugh. Just kept giggling to herself. She cracked herself up! I loved her laugh.

I’m wishing we could celebrate our granddaughter Kayla’s birthday, too. They are experiencing a lot of snow today. We always loved birthdays. I always requested a Devil’s Food Chocolate Cake. I did that to be the direct opposite of my older brother, who always wanted plain angel food. What was your favorite birthday cake?

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It’s tough now to have a birthday cake. The Babe’s birthday is two days after mine. His favorite cake is German Chocolate. I love to make one for him, and the recipe on the Baker’s Chocolate package is the one my Grandma Jewell used to make. It was fabulous. Lots of butter! Oh my. Maybe I’ll make one this year. It can be frozen, then we wouldn’t consume it all at once. Sounds reasonable, right?

FInally, today I’m packing away my snowmen. They’re gathered on the coffee table, and I shouldn’t need too much time to do that. Just accomplishing something makes a huge difference. I think we might have the fireplace on sometime today, it’s pretty chilly. Soon it will be time to poke around outside and see what’s starting to grow in the flower beds. A favorite time of year.

Thank you for catching up today. Remember, whatever your age, check your attitude. It’s worth it to be positive and have a good outlook. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. Be Kind. Be Courteous. Be Safe out there!

Monday, Full of Promise

Good morning, from the sunny Home Office in Gretna, Nebraska. If you don’t appreciate the beautiful blue I can see this morning, I’ll say a prayer for you. It’s been dark and overcast for a few days. Even without talking with Mom, I know she’s grateful for more light to maneuver around in. It also makes the day go faster, your internal clock gets off kilter with too much darkness. Hang in there, Mom!

Listening to the sounds of Bruce Springsteen right now, “Letter to You.” It’s a nice collection, all what I would expect from him in his later years – he’s 71 years old. The words ring true in my heart right now, as I listen. We all have fears and doubts that haunt us right now.

I see it through the eyes of a believer in God. He provides for us, maybe not what we want, but what we need. We sometimes don’t know the difference between the two. It’s amazing if you’ve seen His timing in your life. An event can happen that puts you on a totally different yet much better path than you are on at the time.

I put my worries in God’s hands right now. I don’t know how we will end up at the end of the week, but I cannot drive myself crazy about it. What good does that do any of us? Our mental stability is shattered and that is when trouble happens. We hear all sorts of rumors and dis-information, I don’t trust most things I read online anymore. And television news? I think not. I suppose my information will all become “after the fact,” and my primary concern is for law enforcement in Washington DC, the Capitol Police, the Secret Service, and all the other agencies who are keeping order in our nation’s capitol until after the Inauguration. I hope Biden and Harris help us settle down. He is my president, whether I voted for him or not. Let’s just move ahead.

I had a noon class today with the Storyteller Academy. It’s a free, seven day series of classes about Picture Books. I gleaned something very important during the class today. Jim Averbeck mentioned you need to consider the child’s emotions. I’m so glad to hear this. It is about the child, and things which may evoke some strange feelings they are unfamiliar with. My book talks about loss, and how they feel. It is offering ideas to cope and heal, too. It’s a topic people don’t like to talk about, which is exactly why we need to talk about it. Grief can derail your life if you don’t know how to handle it.

Let’s have a positive attitude for the rest of the day. I’ve accomplished a lot, although I wish I could have published this sooner in the day. I’m plotting about how to do more in a week than we do now, and if it’s possible. These books won’t write themselves!

Thank you for reading today, we’ll see each other tomorrow! Be Safe. Hugs and Love to all of you.

Just a Regular Thursday

Meetings tonight at the Post. Then we’re done for the month, we hope. Just listening to some tunes and getting inspired for creating today. I have a picture quilt, a panel I layered and need to quilt. If I can see to thread the machine needle, I believe clear invisible thread (rather than smoky) should give a nice outline.

It’s been another busy week, and I sometimes wish to sleep until I wake up on my own. Does anyone do that anymore? The dogs wake the Babe, and he lets me sleep until 7. I’ve got a lot more pain since the weather turned cold. I expect it, and it’s become a measure of the next level of my disability.

Like clockwork, the updated news presents itself in areas such as what hurts and how much? Does it come and go? Does stretching help? Not so much anymore. Does that sharp pain change at all during the day? How about at night? The ache, how does it respond to ice or heat? Was it like this last year? When did it start? Does it ever stop hurting? And so on. Sometimes I just don’t recall. I should journal these changes, but I just don’t think of it.

Our mom has had her complete life of mobility, few restrictions, and at 91 concentrates a lot on what she can’t do anymore. As a person who has had restrictions from the age of 42 until now, I try to point out to her how grateful she should be. I’m used to things I can no longer do. My height has shrunk so I can no longer reach items on the top shelf in the cupboards. Right now, I can ask the Babe for help. He’s so good to me.

You know, this keto thing is really something. It works. Nothing dramatic like sixty pounds in thirty days or anything, I suppose if you were an exercise nut you could do that, but we’re quite happy with what we are losing. The Babe has lost 20-25 pounds and I’ve probably lost 15 – 20. It really shows. And we feel it. Even during the holidays, I just don’t want the awful stuff we used to fill up on.

We may break the sugar addiction yet! Sometimes I would like to have a Midnight Dark Milky Way bar. I just wouldn’t eat the whole thing at once. Yes, I’d love some nice warm bread with butter melting all over it. Just not now. I have some more pounds to shed. Growing up in the 1950s, they often used food as a reward. Common, but not a good thing to do. Especially when your Mom baked the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. When bullied at school, I’d reach in the cookie jar and take several cookies to my room. I always felt better after that. Our parents would say, “Just ignore them, they’ll stop making fun of you.” It still hurt, although we didn’t cry in front of the bullies.

Retirement. Freedom to Create!

What a glorious thing to come out of what folks are calling the worst year ever. Losing weight and a sugar addiction. It feels good. I can frame 2020 as a horrid year. It’s frightening to look at and wonder where we will be a year from now; OR I can frame this year as a year to be so grateful; we haven’t had COVID; we have lost no one to it, and we have a comfortable life with each other. We’re relatively healthy, aside from aging bodies. We have a firm belief in God and pray. And we trust in God. He knows what’s best.

Goldie LOVES her new Charlie Brown Snowman from Bark Box.

Wherever you find yourself today, be kind. Be thoughtful. Be Courteous. Be Safe. Let’s stay well until we can get vaccinated and build up immunities. Wash up and wear your mask. It’s the least we can do. Keep your spirits up. I’m as happy as Goldie is with her new toy. Thanks and see you tomorrow!

Woo Hoo, Time Crunch!

First, I need to make a correction. Yesterday I mentioned Detective Herrera was to be buried at the Omaha National Cemetery, I was wrong. He will be buried in Lincoln. He is not only a Lincoln, Nebraska Police Officer, he is also an Army Veteran. This man served us well in many, many ways. Sorry for the confusion on my part.

Today is another rainy, dreary day. I’m starting to get a little down in the dumps, but will make a comeback. It’s going to be better, I just have to make up for lost time and get a some writing done. I’m still working on character origin stories, and so far have Katie’s husband John, her dad, and her mother. In between learning some new things with Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and WordPress.

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Now, it’s time to finish homework today and tomorrow. This work is fun, assigning character traits that are negative yet also thinking of how they could be good under the not so good. People are the model for these behaviors. And we all know how interesting they are!

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Do you ever people watch? The Babe does a lot. Sometimes I don’t even notice that he is. He watches interactions between people and is especially honed in on older people and little children. He is always the first one to jump up and help hold the door or otherwise help an older person. He was like this with his mom who had MS. Watching that made me know he’d always look out for me. And he does.

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When he watches little children, babies play hide and seek with him, they smile and wave at him, and play hard to get. Kind of like I did. Haha! They are a joy to watch, and you just hope they have a happy and safe environment to grow up in. Such sweetness is missed when you don’t have babies in close contact with you anymore.

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There is nothing so sweet as a baby just learning to smile and respond to you. The whole world usually takes notice. There are, however, some people who don’t stop and gush (like we do) over a stranger’s baby. And that’s ok. Some people may mistake our interest in a bad way. I usually try to tell them our youngest grandkids live far away, and we just have to share the love. We don’t touch or bother them. It’s pretty sweet, really. Most young parents are open to it. Who doesn’t thing their baby is the cutest, smartest, and best?

I’m going to dig in and accomplish a lot today, not just writing, but around the house too. I plan to spend as much time as possible outside next week. The forecast appears to have every day with a sun icon on it. What IS that strange ball of fire in the sky, anyway? It’s going to be great to see it again.

Take care! Be safe. Let’s do this Saturday up right. I appreciate you spending time with me, and I’ll see you tomorrow! Thanks, let’s go do this!

Sunday Reflections

This was a week of incredible learning for me. My sessions with my book coach are getting even more interesting and deep. Some days, I’m not sure I want to discover all these emotions needed to tell the story that is on my heart. Yet I know I need to do it. It won’t rest until it’s on paper. Once it’s there, I can discover more about it, shape it into what my definition of fiction is. I believe it’s a story that may or not happen in real life, one people can learn from. It has a lesson, as does all of life. It should teach a lesson that is relatable. I suppose I was taught at an early age we learn from everything. Seeing, doing, not doing, doing right, doing wrong, and observing others in the same way. The actual definition of fiction is a narrative of people, events, or places that are imaginary. It will be interesting to see how this all develops.

These Books are Extremely Helpful to an Author

I already have “The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression (Second Edition).”It’s been a Godsend to me. I placed an order for “The Emotional Wound Thesaurus:A Writer’s Guide to Psychological Trauma,” in which I should find a lot of valuable information for conveying the trauma my main character carries, adding depth and soul to the story. These are humbling sessions. I have a lot to learn, and I’m eager to learn it, and welcome the teaching.

Have you ever heard the word Schadenfreude? I included it in a past blog, and loosely defined, it is malicious enjoyment from the suffering or unhappiness of others. We’ve all known people who delight in others misfortune. This is one step beyond. I’m not sure a person is necessarily “right” to do this to another person. A person who is vengeful enough will do this and be delighted by breaking the other person’s spirit. I’ve had it done to me, and it’s no picnic, believe me. Bullying is a form of this, in my opinion. Passive aggressiveness sets in, and continues to destroy another’s confidence. Not a pretty sight or sound. It is defined quite well in the The Emotion Thesaurus. I just ran across it, and thought it may prove useful in the story. A person delights in tormenting Katie, and this would be a great way to describe one of their evil traits.

Be Careful What You Ask For!

Communication is so important, make sure the tattoo artist knows what you mean exactly! I’d rather be remembered for being kind to people than to appear to have money. As the Babe says, I’ve had it, lost it, had it again. It comes and goes. Isn’t that the truth? Mom always told me, “By the time you have enough money, it doesn’t matter anymore.” I remember lean times as a kid. You got new shoes for school. Maybe new Keds for summer. Nothing extra. We wore uniforms, so that cut down on our clothing immensely. She was right. By the time I completed enough education to afford being a single mom of three, they flew the nest and it didn’t matter anymore. Strange how that happens.

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I’m starting a list of little things around the house we need to clean vigorously or re-do in the next month or so. Yes, things like washing the outside windows, stuff like that. I’d like one thorough cleaning of everything (and dispose of unwanted stuff) just as fall sets in. It will take me about 5 – 6 weeks to do it all, but that’s ok. If I get it done once a year it’s good. I used to do it all twice a year. Not anymore. My energy has to be saved for the good stuff. The creative stuff. The stuff dreams are made of, that make you happy. It’s a great place to be in life. May you all get there.

Thank you for reading. I’m grateful you are doing this journey with me. Back again tomorrow, hope to see you then. Be Safe.

Tuesday Gratitude

It’s a blue-skied day again today. I always welcome this time of year. Lots of people had strange wind damage yesterday, it was a weird event which happens once in awhile. Weather is so strange. It has to be respected because it is so powerful. Many kinds of severe weather can happen in Nebraska, and other states. I’d hate a hurricane, Floridians would hate tornadoes. Blizzards aren’t that bad when you’re retired. It doesn’t matter if you get out or not. Just fill the coffee again, and there you are. Light the fire and watch a Netflix series or two.

As we age, we need to have lots of preventative maintenance. Kind of like a car. If you don’t do it regularly, you could have a lot of unknown issues that could be costly for a car, or deadly for a person. The Babe had a colonoscopy today, and all is well. That is a huge blessing. We are grateful. Come back in three years, what is a great outcome.

It appears Joe Biden has a running mate. I have no opinion of Ms. Harris, and it matters not to me that she is a female or black. Neither makes me think a candidate more or less worthy. I have concerns about Biden, and Harris, and about Trump and Pence. I just hope there is never another Presidential assassination. It is a horrible event to happen to a nation.

I was in sixth grade when Kennedy was shot. We heard all the gory details. After all, we learned everything about the crucified body of Jesus Christ by the time we were seven, there was no reason to spare assassination details. And we all witnessed the killing of Lee Harvey Oswald by Jack Ruby. When you consider the murder of Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert F. Kennedy happened in 1968, as did the riots at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago; we experienced a lot of violence. The violence human beings are capable of.

That violence happens often and daily in America now. Life seems to have lost it’s value to the killers. As many grandmothers and mothers do, I pray none of our family is harmed by this violence. One of our sons serves in the U.S. Secret Service, and he is trained beyond what we could ever imagine. He is a perfect man for the job he has. We are nothing but proud. He is actually safer than we are, if you think about it. God will be good to him, and to his beautiful family.

So true . . . let’s all have a good heart.

I fared well with a quick review from my book coach, regarding my rewritten Chapter One. Very minor things, which I will submit to her again, along with a draft of Chapter Two. I have an idea of what will happen in Chapter Two, and I’ll try to behave with my verb tenses, keep the protagonist in all the scenes, and keep to the timeline. All the stuff I learned in Chapter One so far. It’s a great process, I’m glad to be experiencing it.

It’s a couple days late, but the Babe and I are going to watch this week’s Yellowstone. He can’t stay awake on Sunday night for it, so we record it for later. It’s continuing to be a great story line again this season. The scenery is so beautiful. Makes me want to go back to Montana again. We left the back entrance of Yellowstone National Park to see Big Sky Country. It was breathtaking!

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I thank you for reading today. I appreciate it so much. Be safe out there. Some schools started back up today, and more will go back tomorrow. Take a little time for yourself, be kind, be courteous, be smart. I will see you right here again tomorrow. Thank you very much.

Rainy to Sunny Wednesday

We’ve had all sorts of weather already today. Rain, chilly breeze, and now it’s partly sunny day. Great week is on tap. We have a wedding on Friday, so the weather will cooperate for the beautiful bride and her groom. This couple was fortunate, their wedding and reception was not postponed or cancelled due to COVID-19. Her sister’s was, and they will have their reception next month. It all works out.

We’re kind of wondering what to do with ourselves. Gavin’s Mom took vacation from today until next Thursday, so we won’t get to have him today or next week. Hard to believe school is starting. He and his sister attend Papillion/LaVista schools, so they are taking the plunge, right back to a full schedule, onsite, masked, no lockers for older kids. I think they need it, psychologically. They need the safety of school, the friendships, the learning to get along with others in a large group, and the learning you can only have in a classroom. The impromptu discussions that happen randomly are important to learning, too. Sometimes you get more from those than from textbooks. My only hope is for all students and teachers, staff, aids, resource officers and the like to have a safe year.

Tomorrow is my conference with my book coach. I shared my list of books I’ve purchased randomly to learn about writing, publishing, Legalities of self-publishing, etc. The list is about 30 books. So much to learn! I also have a GREAT COURSES class on writing. I forgot I had it, I only watched the one I bought about drawing. Time to rotate the writing one out to the DVD player.

Way back in the old days, before we knew about COVID-19, I ordered some cute paint by number canvases. Didn’t realize they came from China. Never got them, I emailed them frequently to let them know I had not received what I paid for yet. Finally, this week, they arrived. I think they look like a lot of fun. These will be a winter project for sure. Here they are:

This is for my granddaughter Kayla’s room.

This one is for our home.

It’s the time of year again the butterfly bush is huge right outside my studio window. The Painted Lady butterflies are beautiful! It makes me feel calm, sometimes there are ten or more lighting on it. Such a sight. We have a bush that is nearly as large as the butterfly bush. It has large leaves, had a few little white flowers in the spring. The fall and winter isn’t supposed to have red berries. We’ll see what it does this year. It may end up transplanted to the back, near the Wetlands. The Hydrangeas are almost large enough to place in the front flower bed as well. We’ll see how the Babe feels about it. Fall is the best time to transplant all this stuff, I think.

Today is a take it as it comes day. I’m going to work on my quilt again. It should go well. Hopefully, photos tomorrow! Stay safe out there, wash up and mask up. The kids need us to all cooperate, so they can learn, feel safe, and get on with their education. Be Kind, Be Thoughtful, Be Courteous. Your day will go much better. See you tomorrow!

Oh Honey, You Have No Idea!

Magical Monday

Today was bittersweet. Mom asked me to take her to the ENT today. We made a stop at her favorite Half Price Bookstore afterwards. She has terrific trouble with her vision from a stroke several years ago and has extremely poor hearing, even with hearing aids. Either of these things will cause a person to be isolated from the rest of us. She has not wanted to attend the last couple luncheons for the retiree group from my dad’s job at the Omaha World Herald, and has turned down invitations to the two wedding receptions our family is looking forward to. It’s probably part due to her age and infirmary, and part due to more isolation because of COVID-19. Last November, she was not comfortable attending the wedding of a one of her favorite grandsons, because she wouldn’t be able to hear the ceremony.

The Old Days . . . Come and Gone.

I can see a vulnerability in Mom I have not seen before. She is aging, she has taken excellent care of herself, and that can be a double-edged sword. Her independence has been reigned in due to limitations. I’m eternally grateful she quit driving on her own. With her hearing issue, it was easy for her to get rattled in traffic. It was hard at first, but we went on in-town errands and always had lunch. The first Wednesday of the month was always Shopko day. She’d stock up on paper products and what not. We’d ooh and aah at the baby clothes and laugh at goofy things. It was fun. I’m sad Shopko closed, it appears she’s kind of been declining bit by bit since then.

Of course it’s expected, especially at her age. She’ll be 91 later this month, and I’m astonished at that. She hasn’t had an easy life. Our Dad worked nights, and she was in charge 24/7. I was a junior in high school before he transferred to working days. Our two younger brothers had Dad at home while they were in high school. They had different parents than my older brother and I did. It was different at the end of the 1960s when we graduated from high school. Our younger brothers graduated in the mid 1970s, a much different time. A different generation.

We lost Dad in 1988, just after he retired. It was so unfair for him. He worked hard all his life to provide for his family and never got to enjoy retirement. He died six months after he retired. Half of the time he was fighting cancer, the other half, he was home alone while Mom tended to her dying mother with her sisters. Grandma died in September, Dad in December. What a burden on Mom. No time for grieving, there was business to attend to.

Sometimes I think it’s harder for someone to release their independence if they’ve had it for a long period of time. If you’re still independently living in your 80s, it will be hard if you have your wits about you and you need to give some independence up. Many older people don’t get a real choice, some tragic circumstance dictates the end of their driving, or living alone, or walking without assistance. Mom was really brave to give up driving when she did. It could have come sooner in my opinion, because I could see how shook up she would get in traffic.

When the low income high rises were popular in the 1970s, Mom swore if she had to live in one of those, she’d die a slow death, filled with misery. She helped my brother Steve with his South Omaha Sun paper route, and saw the inhabitants of the 10 – 12 story high rises first hand. After her mother died, she swore she would leave her affairs in good order. For that, my brothers and I are grateful. We know she’ll leave us someday. It’s just a matter or when. It will be unexpected, but it will still cause sadness.

But we will celebrate her because she did the darndest things (quote from her mother-in-law). She was a docent at the Zoo for over 25 years. Babysat the baby gorillas and orangutans in the nursery, and was on tiger-birth watch if a female tiger would start labor in the middle of the night. She might call me up and say, “If you call late at night and you can’t reach me, I’ll be at the Zoo, doing . . . .” We’d tease the hell out of her, but were always glad she was so active and out and about.

So yes, we’re grateful. And sad at the same time. She’s having a hard time not being able to go about her life. And we have to be patient even in the worst moments. My two younger brothers are good men and help her out a lot. Taking care of a house is a chore at 91. Heck, it is at 68, too. But at least I have the Babe. Another thing my brothers and I are be blessed with; she has wonderful neighbors, who help her, and who scold her when she’s pulling weeds where she shouldn’t be. Thank you, David _________. We appreciate it!

So as I recall her telling me the ENT’s mother (also in her 90s) was on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor before her cleaning lady came over, and how she was scolded by her son the doctor, I will also remember the story of her pulling weeds in an unsafe area. The neighbor simply said, “What do you think you’re doing?” several times, relieved her of her bucket and loppers, and waiting in the driveway until she went inside the house, and say, “You kinda are doing silly things too, that aren’t good for you.” She laughed, and said, “Well, I suppose so.” And all I can say is, “Rosemary; you do the darndest things!”