One of my heroes died this week. Tina Turner was an extremely talented woman who taught many of my generation of women they could make their own way in life. Without being subject to treatment by a man that is abusive, verbally and physically.
Someone did not physically abuse me. I used to think it would have been easier if others could see what was happening. I married someone who treated me just like I mistakenly thought I deserved, which was verbally abusive. My kids suffered it too. Married at 18, I thought love was supposed to hurt, that you fight and makeup, he buys you flowers and Wally and the Beaver sit down with you both at dinner. Didn’t happen that way.
I was extremely unhappy. Isolated; no transportation, etc. I wanted to go to college and finally went to Metro Community College. Some days, I took the bus. But things fell into place, and after about 18 months of studying, still doing all the work at home, and unheard, I filed for divorce and never looked back.
That was near the time Tina Turner was making it big. Her story gave me hope. I wanted to be as strong as Tina Turner was. She honed her craft and strutted on that stage with fire and fervor I couldn’t believe existed. She fascinated me. I read her bio. It was quite sad and violent, but she rose above all the hate, pain, and hurt and became a force to be reckoned with. And she exuded happiness.
One thing I learned was she studied Buddhism. It helped her center, focus, learn to be one with the universe. Believing in any higher power is critical. We need to realize something bigger than us. I believe God showed me the way over the past 41 years. It’s guided me to where I am right now.
Tina Turner led the way for many women like me. Listen to her music. It still blows me away.
Around that same time, Cher also became a force on her own. She did the same. Walked away, knowing she deserved better.
During the rest of 1982, when my ex tried to get back together, I finally told him:
“Tina did great without Ike. Cher did great without Sonny. And Kathy will do fine without Frank.”
Have a great day, see you tomorrow. Oh, and BTW. The Babe? Simply the Best!”
Kathy Raabe 
I raise 4 daughters on my own! Once my ex was out of the picture it took about a year to get his voice out of my head…turns out I was actually capable and intelligent. I graduated from College and held a career and a small quilting business and raised 4 strong capable daughters! Yes Tina and women like her showed us we had the strength!!!
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Absolutely, sistah!
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