Well folks, we got a little off track here. Still writing each day, just stymied today what to write. It’s not writer’s block, I’m just trying to herd my thoughts and get organized. I’m not used to having a whole day ahead of me without a specific schedule. It’s been pretty rigid the last couple of months. I’m convinced it’s an excuse to procrastinate and I might if I’m not mindful of the temptation to do just that.
One thing you experience after the frantic fury of cancer treatment, the chemo and radiation, the scheduling, transportation, making the patient comfortable, making room for all the time, taking care of yourself, and being available for anything gives way to the intense temptation to veg out if we’re not careful. Being acutely aware of it doesn’t make it go away. I’m kind of vacillating in that right now. Napping is my favorite pastime right now. And it’s normal. And I know it. At some point though, I need to accomplish something again.
As we’ve said before, it takes over your life. You can’t exactly dismiss it when treatment is over. It’s been your focus for months now, and could become the focus again after the scans, tests, bloodwork, etc., that are in the distance in the next 4 – 6 weeks. Acknowledge your break, but know it’s there, at arm’s length.
On Monday, I shopped at the nursery for plants. My plan is to tackle the flowers to plant in pots, and they’re waiting on the deck. Have planted none yet. Having a hard time getting motivated about things. There is no magic cure for this feeling of floating through time. Create your new sense of normal. Life is never the same after cancer treatment, nor do I expect it to be.
So with a prayer here and there, and sending healing thoughts to Mom, I’m going to start the work of today. It will involve the beauty of flowers, the growth in nature, the calming feeling of soil on my hands. It releases many feel-good hormones. And it’s good for my soul, which I need right now.
How about you? What’s your go-to, to keep your mind on the present, not get overwhelmed, and to stay prepared? Share it in the comments, and we’ll see you tomorrow. It’s time to plant!
Kathy Raabe 