All humans make mistakes. Even us. Let’s look at our mistakes with compassion and honesty instead of shame and embarrassment. How? Deep breath, boys and girls.
The world will not end when we goof up. It’s how we learn the best. The difference is, however, in if we repeat behavior in a relationship, that is not good for us. Yes, if we repeatedly accept poor treatment from others, it becomes our fault. Why? Because we can stop it by ending the relationship. How can you do that?
If the person is unwilling to work with you to change, if all you hear is empty promises and see no improvement in behavior towards you and others, you need to take action. I know it is frightening, but it is the best thing I ever did. Truly. The road was long and hard. I’m not telling you it is going to be easy; I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it. Trust me. Prepare to work hard. Prepare to incur criticism. It just goes with the territory.
Sometimes, mistakes and admission thereof cause us rejection, not only from others, but from our harshest of critics; ourselves. We have to give ourselves a break! Telling someone else, “Look what you made me do!” is such a terrible thing to do. Growing up, my cousins and I heard that a lot from our mom’s. Our grandma taught her daughters that phrase. Not knowing any better, they used it on us. And some of us grew up thinking we caused our mom’s to mess something up. That’s a lot to carry as a little kid.
Hear me now: Nothing someone else does is your fault. You do not cause your mom’s negative behaviour, your husband’s bad mood, or your boyfriend’s drunken tirade. You certainly don’t cause him to hit you or your children. No one deserves to be abused verbally or otherwise. Get some help and prepare your action. You are not safe.
Sometimes, I still feel the sting of being blamed for things that were not my fault. It’s just how they are. I cannot change them. I can only change how I react to it. Usually, a quick session with the Babe nips it in the bud. I am forever grateful to him in so many ways. He has taught me how to let things slide that used to disable me.
Whenever I do something and it doesn’t turn out like I’d like it to, I learn not to do it again. Think of another way. I’ve learned to laugh with myself, not at myself. There’s a tremendous difference. I’m basically a calm person, and that has seen me through a lot. We all remember those character building events of our lives. Sometimes I feel my character is just fine, Jesus, so please, no more! But then I know He knows what’s best for me. Acceptance of that fact helps a lot.
Today is another appointment for Mom and I need to hit the road soon. It’s another beautiful, sunny day at the Home Office in Gretna, Nebraska. Make compassion and honesty your words of the day. Enjoy, and we’ll see each other again tomorrow. Be safe.