Again, here we are on a chilly but sunny day at the Home Office in Gretna, Nebraska. The Robins are bouncing along on the lawn, eating their favorite bugs, and the Finch feeder hangs on a Shepherd’s hook just outside my window. It’s a very peaceful scene. Have you ever looked at something and not really seen it?
My reading today quoted someone named Matthew Arnold, who said;
“The endeavor, in all branches of knowledge, is to see the object as in itself it really is.”
The theory is we see only what we think we see; or we see what we want to see; or we altogether miss what’s right in front of us. Things may not always be what we think. The seemingly aloof person may simply have no confidence, fearing rejection and being ignored. We assume our impression is correct, when it really isn’t. The little old lady with the scowl on her face may mean she has difficulty hearing. That causes sensory overload in a large crowd.
My dad had a philosophy, “Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. You never know what’s going on in their lives.” How very true. I’ve met people and disliked them at first. After getting to know them, I find a different person inside of them. I discover the truth about them. Do we reveal our truths to each other? No, you don’t have to spill all your secrets upon meeting someone, but when fostering relationships, do we share important parts of ourselves? If it’s a relationship worth having, revealing your heart is necessary. Trust is necessary. You may uncover some truths about yourself.
It’s hard to step back from situations and let people handle their own decisions and lies, especially if it could affect you. If your adult child refuses to get a COVID vaccination, you have to take measures to keep yourself safe. We don’t like things like this, and we must learn to live with their decisions no matter how bad we believe they are. No two humans react the same to any situation.
It occurred to me the other day, my daughter moved to Colorado twenty years ago. That’s half of her life spent in another state while growing into her own. She is a completely different person now than when she left. It’s good she grew up, and learned to be self-sufficient. I’m proud of her for that. I thought we would always be close, and now we are not. That makes me sad, but I can’t change it. I need to live with it. If I dwell on it, I could make myself crazy. Instead, I choose to write and create things. It saves my soul. Just like music does.
In the meantime, we need to fill our lives with what makes us feel fulfilled and joyful. I love babies.I enjoy my nieces photos on Facebook of their grandbabies. They’re so fortunate. I love other nieces photos of their baseball playing children, and accomplishments of friends’ grandkids. Life is full of happiness.
I hope children learn from my books yet to be written. I hope women (and men) learn from my novel of a young woman learning to be strong, learning the lies she was told growing up were not true. She could, indeed, make her own decision and plot her own course. And that she does. The struggle is real, and it still happens. She learns to believe in herself.
The world is full of possibilities, my friends. We need to make sure we have accurate information and truth before we make decisions about others. We may change our minds, there is no shame in that. Be true to your convictions, gained from thoughtful deliberations. Be Kind. Be Thoughtful. Be Fair. Give someone the benefit of the doubt. It will help make you a fair human. See you tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
Kathy Raabe 